Zoom Out: It's the Big Picture That Matters

The other day in a Facebook group, a friend linked to this great, old post from Sarah McKenzie, and a few of us then talked about how important it is to keep the big picture in mind (and that applies not only to homeschooling but to parenting in general, and to life.)

I'm a big fan of the big picture. Bad days have a way of tricking us into thinking the picture is minute, localized, and doomed. Sarah's post reminded me of an old post of mine, so I shared it with my friends, and am sharing it here today.

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Does Happy Homeschooling = No Worries?

(I originally posted this October 18, 2010 -- my girls were 16, 14, and 8.)  

The short answer is no. The long answer is a blog post.

I am a happy homeschooler. But "happy" is not equivalent to slaphappy or to sporting a perpetual smile.  I was thinking about this today as I batted a few worries around in my happy head. I wasn't feeling particularly chipper as I thought about:

• math
• ACT scores
• teaching cursive to an eight-year-old
• balancing my unschoolish approach with my husband's English teacher ways
• a daughter taking online classes at the community college
• a daughter who suddenly cares about a grade
• a daughter who rightly and admirably cares about her grade
• a daughter who isn't 8 years old anymore
• needing bifocals (me, not the daughter)
• trying to be everything to everyone every day
• feeling that there's never enough time for all my roles and that I want to hire a stunt double

Let's be clear: homeschooling is not perfect. It can inspire cloudbursts of anxiety, worry, doubt, insecurity and fear about the future. (I suppose parents who send their kids to school could say the same thing? That any parent could say the same thing of parenting?) Homeschooling sometimes feels overwhelming, and then I begin to  wonder if I'm up to it, if I can give my kids all that they need.

Then, I remember that we are to pray, "Protect us from all anxiety." And so that's what I pray:

"Protect me, Jesus, from the fear that I can't do it all. Because I can't. That's why I need You."

As Scripture tells me:

Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
-- Philippians 4:6-7

It also helps to have a husband who listens, friends who listen, a confessor who listens. St. Francis de Sales knew that:

The heart finds relief in telling its troubles to another, just as the body when suffering from persistent fever finds relief from bleeding. It is the best of remedies, and therefore it was that S. Louis counselled his son, "If thou hast any uneasiness lying heavy on thy heart, tell it forthwith to thy confessor, or to some other pious person, and the comfort he will give will enable thee to bear it easily."

                            -- Introduction to the Devout Life

St. Thomas Aquinas also apparently knew a few homeschooling mothers:

Sorrow can be alleviated by good sleep, a bath and a glass of wine.

Being a happy homeschooler does not mean I'll never feel sorrow, anxiety, worry or dread. I have. I do. I will.

It does mean knowing where to turn when those spectors try to haunt. Jesus gives -- and He is -- the best of advice.

Happy homeschooling for me is not a mood or a mindless game or a steady, even course. It is a way of living, though -- of trusting, and of getting up each day and starting again, knowing that I'm not in charge.

What I Didn't Say in Austin (Or, Turning a Keynote About Homeschooling Into a Blog Post)

When I recently spoke at a homeschooling conference, I wanted to be sure I had enough to say, so of course I over-prepared. There was a section of a talk that I didn't even get to, so it comes to you now as a blog post. Yay! Double-duty writing!

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My relaxed methods of homeschooling prompt another question: Are we being academically challenging and rigorous enough?

That gets us to the core questions about why we homeschool in the first place: for academic excellence? For spiritual reasons alone? Do we homeschool to get our children to Heaven or to Harvard?

Personally, I’ve never really asked myself the "Heaven or Harvard" question. In our state, we have to report/declare our reasons for homeschooling by claiming an exemption for either academic reasons or religious reasons. We claim the religious exemption because we do firmly believe the Church’s teaching that we are the primary educators of our children, i.e., that we have the right and responsibility to educate them as we see fit, or to contract out their education to schools if we so choose, etc. But, the academic exemption has always been right in front of us, too, and we could legitimately have chosen that option as well.

When we wanted to pull our eldest daughter out of school it wasn’t because we were afraid that she was being spiritually tainted. She had a sweet, kind Kindergarten teacher (who later quit working outside the home and began homeschooling her own children) and she had made friends with some very sweet and lovely children. But I couldn't bear some of the other stuff: I couldn’t bear that she wasn't allowed to read (in school, I mean) the books that grabbed her. I couldn't bear that her love of learning was being dulled with handwriting practice and pre-reading worksheets. It made me mad, actually. It made me realize that I knew my daughter better than anyone else did, and that I could provide stimulating days and a vibrant education for her at home.

Certainly our goal was to raise our children, spiritually speaking, as we saw fit: saturated in our faith, living it every day. We wanted to provide a particular kind of lifestyle that allowed for exploring the liturgical year rather than the school year, for going to Mass when it worked for us, not just on Sundays, for a holy half-hour in the middle of a "school day" and for digging into a saint's life story if that's what we felt like doing.

But such a lifestyle and accommodations for our faith don't negate or ignore the desire for academic excellence. Atticus and I have always been dedicated to providing a strong and stimulating education for our girls.

On the other hand, we may not define academic excellence in exactly the same way that the world does. Allow me to elaborate. Of course we want to be the best teachers we can be and we hope to provide our children with the best possible education. But that doesn’t mean we're interested in churning out cookie cutter versions of human beings. Not everyone wants to attend a particular university or even a particular kind of university. Not everyone wants to pursue a particular type of profession, either. For us, academic excellence -- the kind that takes into account the very specific needs, gifts, passions, interests, strengths and weaknesses of each child -- will produce everything: plumbers, engineers, nurses, doctors, landscapers, secretaries, stay-at-home moms, stay-at-home dads, computer programmers, salesmen, philosophers, respiratory therapists, Spanish teachers, and ... on and on. An academically excellent homeschool considers the fact: the world needs all kinds of people and all kinds of jobs.

When it comes to raising and educating human beings with souls, paying close attention in a loving home to our individual children and what they need is every bit as important as an isolated, rigidly defined, supposedly objective standard of academic excellence.

I have never found and have never believed that there is one method, one cookie cutter ideal, one fixed rule, or one predictable outcome to homeschooling.

There is just this one thing in our homeschool: we need to figure out what this child needs at this moment, this week, this month, this year. Homeschooling, for us, is about finding what works, and then doing it.

Excellence, then, while it is about tailoring the academics to our particular children and their needs, isn’t about proving to the world that we can raise the smartest, most stereotypically or predictably "successful" kids possible. As a matter of fact, homeschooling isn’t about us at all.

Should we repeat it? Homeschooling isn't about us at all.

Sometimes we homeschooling parents forget that. There’s so much pressure -- from the world, from family or friends, from interested observers and critics --  to prove that we haven’t definitively messed up our kids. We feel compelled to confirm that we made the right choice, the best choice. And then we forget that it isn’t about us or about how we look. 

It’s about our kids. It’s about cooperating with God in this endeavor. It's about raising the people He entrusted to our care.  It's about helping them to become the people He wants them to be. Sometimes our kids will fit every preconceived notion the world has of success and sometimes they will look as far from it as is humanly possible. And everything on that spectrum is conceivably perfectly okay, as long as we keep on asking ourselves the question, “What does this child need next?”

That's why, for us, it's not "Heaven or Harvard." It's Heaven and Harvard and not-Harvard and everything in between. It's about letting a Kindergartener read Little House books all day if that's how she best learns. It's about letting a high schooler write a novel the entire month of November if that's where her passion is. And it's about having her do some math, too, because that's a practical part of life that we have to address. It's about faith and books and being excited about learning for the rest of our lives.

It's about individual human beings, it's not about me, and it's about a life lived authentically. And that's going to look different for everyone.

End of the School Year: The Exit Interview

No, it's not the kind of exit interview that means I'm leaving the job. It's more accurately an "end of year survey" but I couldn't resist basing it on real questions that might be used in an exit interview in the workplace. With that in mind, let's take a look at how this school year went:


What is your primary reason for leaving this school year?

Duh! It's May.

Did anything trigger your decision to end the school year?

Duh! It's May. I'm tired.

What was most satisfying about your job this year?

Read alouds with Ramona are always right up there at the top of the list.

Watching Ramona's artistic talents and interests grow this year. Big perk, lots of fun.

Seeing my second daughter finish high school at home (and in the community, and in church, and in classes at the college -- because homeschooling, despite some popular misconceptions, is never just about home), seeing her make decisions about her future, receive scholarships, make plans...hugely gratifying.

It is immensely satisfying to not only love my daughters, but to also like them so much, and admire their choices.

What was least satisfying about your job?

There was math involved.

Did your job duties turn out to be as you expected?

Having previously gotten a daughter through high school at home, I knew I could handle Betsy's senior year, however, every child is different, and the homeschool must be tailored to the student. But, Betsy's final year of homeschooling went swimmingly, mostly thanks to Betsy being an awesome person.

Did you receive enough training to do your job effectively?

My past duties in life taught me that I can overcome any obstacle. Converting from atheism to mere Christianity to Catholicism? That was hard. Deciding to become a parent? I never envisioned "mother" on my resume, so that was a challenge, too, yet here I am. Handling pregnancy, labor, and delivery? Umm, yeah, with that training alone, I was prepped for anything. Homeschooling was guaranteed to be, if not a snap, at least something with a learning curve that I could face.

Did you receive adequate support to do your job?

Did you say "Atticus support"?

Oh, yes! Loads of it. Especially his weekend cooking and his chocolate cakes. These things make my job so much easier.

Did you receive sufficient feedback about your performance between merit reviews?

Merit reviews? I'm a mom. What planet do you live on?

Were you satisfied with this company's merit review process?

See snark, above. "This company" (i.e., the world at large) could stand to beef up its appraisal of the stay-at-home mom thing.

Did this company help you to fulfill your career goals?

Goals this year included:

Read great books. Check.
Spend time with my daughters. Check.
Prioritize Atticus and our family time over just about everything else. Check.
Spend time on math, even though we all hate it. Check.
Write a novel at the same time Betsy does. Check.
Lead a writing group for Betsy and friends. Check.
Meet with other homeschooling moms for support. Check.
Read more great books. Check.

Do you have any tips to help us find your replacement?

I have her lined up already! "Teacher" has left the building (i.e., math books have been hidden for three months) and "Mom" is reporting for duty.

Soon, "Atticus Cooks All Summer Long" will be reporting for duty as well. "Mom" will be doing a happy dance when no one is looking.

What would you improve to make our workplace better?

Honestly, the pay for a homeschooling mom could be better. Now that I think of it, I don't recall receiving a single paycheck or tax incentive. I do, however, appreciate the public library beyond all ken. Also, if coffee would learn to make itself, I'd really like that. If Atticus could quit his job, stay home and cook, that'd be great, too.

And if my kids would stop growing up, I'd be guaranteed job security as a teacher until I die. As it is, my workload will be drastically cut next year, with just one soon-to-be-twelve-year-old in our homeschool. That will be simultaneously an improvement, in terms of time management, and a heartache in terms of facing reality.

Were you happy with your pay, benefits and other incentives?

As mentioned above, the pay stinks, but the fringes are excellent: close relationships with my daughters, a flexible schedule, and never having to go to the grocery store on a Saturday.

What was the quality of the supervision you received?

God is kind of in charge of this homeschool, and I'd have to say that His leadership was excellent. I sometimes wish He would yell at me, though, so I'd have a clearer picture of His expectations, but that doesn't seem to be the kind of boss He is. Overall, His quiet management style suits me. He doesn't micromanage, and yet He always seems in control. Wish I could pull that off.

Based on your experience with us, what do you think it takes to succeed at this company?

An ability to laugh. At everything. And everyone.

Did any company policies or procedures (or any other obstacles) make your job more difficult?

Could you drop the company policy on having to cover math? That one makes my staff cranky.

There's also this requirement to feed the staff constantly. That one makes me cranky. When I took this homeschooling job, I wasn't thinking about how people can be so unreasonable -- wanting dinner every, single night. Dirtying up bathrooms that demand to be cleaned on a regular basis. Generating laundry daily because everyone insists on wearing actual clothes every, single, day.

In other words, if those characters under my supervision didn't have to eat, dress, function, and learn how figure out a mortgage payment, my job would be much easier. Could you work on self-sustaining model of student? (Oh, wait. Then I'd be out of a job.)

Would you consider working again for this company in the future?

Oh, yes. I'll be back in September. Please hold my spot for me.

Would you recommend working for this company to your family and friends?

Highly recommend it. I know it's not for everyone, but it's worked out great for us. Maybe try it out, as an intern first, if you're considering taking the plunge.

How do you generally feel about this company?

My gosh, you ache for approval. You Exit Interviewers really get tiresome. Okay, I'll say it again: this homeschooling stuff is amazing. Great job, I love it. I recommend it to anyone who's up for a challenge and the freedom of a different and interesting lifestyle.

What did you like most about this company?

Will you stop already?

What did you like least about this company?

Stop being so self-centered!

What does your new company offer that this company doesn't?

Ummm ... summertime.

But, as I already told you, I'll be back in the fall.

Chill out.

Did anyone in this company discriminate against you, harass you or cause hostile working conditions?

Let's not revisit that one time with Ramona and math, okay? I'll be back in the fall, despite that incident, and we'll just keep it between us, okay?

Any other comments?

Hello, freedom from math summer. I've missed you.

School and Unschool and Everything In Between

What we've been doing:

* For Ramona's book club we just finished reading Marie McSwigan's Snow Treasure. It was slow going for her at first, but once we got into the meat of it, she enjoyed it. Here's a link to my quick review from 2006. (That was waaaay back when I read it to my then 10- and 12-year olds, and Ramona was just a pre-schooler. And here's a link to loads of other WWII related reading for younger readers.)

* Ramona has a new pen pal. Snail mail lives! We use this stuff called paper, pen, envelopes, and stamps. If you haven't tried them, you should give it a whirl. It's revolutionary!

* Science for Ramona right now is mostly National Geographic Kids and Kids Discover. These also dovetail nicely into the "social studies" category. Also under the social studies category is being ten years old and living with teenagers ... all kinds of opportunities for viewing those creatures in their natural habitat and discussing their anomalies with your mother.

* Finished reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire to Ramona. (I edit the icky, dark parts late in the book.) All past bloggy-things-Harry are here.

* Dragon Box is still a hit around here.

* Ramona also likes several of the math games she's tried at Sheppard Software.

* Betsy, who's taking a French class at the college, is reading Pride and Prejudice on the Kindle -- in French. She's also re- (re-re-re-) reading a hard copy in English, so if she gets hung up, she just jogs her memory with that. She's surpassed me and the little bit of French I took many years ago. I do still remember how to ask what time it is and the location of the nearest bathroom. Vital stuff.

* Anne-with-an-e loves spring break almost as much as she loves dissecting things in her zoology class.  Or is it that she loves dissecting things almost as much as she loves a leisurely spring break? Either way, she's having a lovely week.

* Lent rolls along. Our Lamb of God is beginning to grow fuzzy. I can be heard occasionally complaining that I really want to have something sweet. Sugar! (Eeek...How spoiled am I? Really!?) I caved one evening, the Saturday night we were out of town for the girls' Winter Ball. I gobbled some regifted chocolates that night. (That is a story too long to go into, but suffice to say that I do a Christmas gift exchange with a friend each year, and I always give him oatmeal cookies, and he always gives me regifted chocolates, and this was the first time we'd seen each other since Christmas. A sad excuse, but the only one I've got.) Back to Lent: we have lots of talks about sacrifice and hardship, hunger and plenty, waste and abundance, sin and repentance. We talk about weakness and chocolate and first world problems.

We got ourselves to confession. We'll plan to get there again soon.

* We've started doing Night Prayer with the girls. I've used iBreviary for myself for some time now, and love it. Atticus and I also use it for Morning Prayer, and now Ramona is enjoying taking charge of scrolling us through the Liturgy of the Hours before bedtime. It's loverly.

Homeschool High School Carnival: The Science Edition

It's hosted this month by Theresa, at LaPaz Home Learning.

I didn't have time to get a science post written, but there's some good stuff at La Paz, including Theresa's take on science, here.

Homeschooling High School: Writing and Composition

Writing with teens?

The single best piece of advice I have to offer is this:

Start a writing group.

(A friend of mine who runs a homeschool learning center started some teen writing groups and I stole his idea.)

When Anne was a sophomore, and Betsy was in eighth grade, we started a weekly group. Simple premise: four teen girls, a piece of writing from each of them every week, to be read aloud to the group.

The rules for our no-pressure group were:

1. The girls could bring any kind of prose they wanted to share -- a short story, part of a novel in progress, an essay written for a school assignment, a report, a book review ... anything. It could be a first draft or something they'd polished.

2. After each reading, the first reaction from the listeners had to be a positive, encouraging comment -- what they especially liked about the piece, a favorite description, an intriguing character or plot development, etc.  Then we could move on to other, more detailed constructive criticism and ask questions, share ideas, etc.

3. When we were finished with all the reading and discussion (and generally a lot of laughter and fun), the girls headed off for some free time and lunch while I re-read the papers more closely and offered editing and ideas via my trusty red pen.

4. The last rule: Don't Be Afraid of the Red Pen. Early on, I assured the girls that my red pen was their friend. (The single most important thing for young writers to understand is that rough drafts are called "rough" for a reason.) I didn't want my comments, corrections, or suggestions to discourage them. I stressed that edits do not mean, "Wow, you're a very bad writer -- oh, my, look at the many marks I had to make!" No -- I wanted them to understand that the better the writing, the more they would see my red pen (because as their writing improved they gave me more to work with.) If I taught them only one thing about writing, I wanted them to know that all the real work comes in revision. Anyone can write something; a real writer revises. And revises and revises again. I told them that I became a real writer the day I realized that a great editor was my friend.

Our writing group became the highlight of everyone's week. The girls shared silly stories, serious work,  novels (completed and abandoned), essays, history reports, and stories that were composed entirely of the inside jokes of this quartet. Some weeks we (sometimes me, sometimes one of the girls) shared a writing prompt and the girls all wrote on that prompt for the next meeting. Sometimes we went out for hot chocolate and pastries. (Writers do need their sustenance.)

The greatest benefit that a writing group offers for teens is simply this: it keeps them writing. If they write regularly, they will become better writers.

And the pastries are a lovely fringe benefit.

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The Homeschool High School Carnival this month is at Take Up and Read. 

Back to School and Not Back to School

Yesterday my eldest daughter headed off to college classes. She's attending school here in our town, so it's not the seismic shift it would be if she were moving away, but's it's new and different. Between classes and her job, we'll be seeing a lot less of her.

My middle daughter also went to a college class (dual high school/college credit for a foreign language), is thinking about getting a job, is involved in various activities, etc., so she's getting busier all the time, too.

Anne-with-an-e and Betsy are "back to school" in a way we've never really been before.

Ramona stayed home with me. We cleaned her room and took board game breaks. Atticus asked if it reminded me of the days when Betsy and I would walk Anne to her Kindergarten class at the school across the street and then spend the morning together, just the two of us.

It felt a little too weird to remind me of anything I've ever experienced before.

Being somewhat unschoolish, I've always been content to just "start" whenever it suits us. But sometime back my girls wanted things to be a bit more official. And Ramona is a big fan of official.

I'm philosophically opposed to school starting before Labor Day so, years ago, I chose the day after the holiday to be our annual, official kick-off day. But, as with most things in life, I've found that the more official things get, the more likely they are to be full of letdown.

Remember this post? I talked about "lowering my standards" for First Day Expectations. My main expectations always come down to two things for the first day:

We go to Mass. We go out for breakfast.

(Evidence here, here, and here [although in this one, I neglected to mention Mass. Did we not go? I can't remember a year when we didn't start the first school day with Mass, so either I was sloppy in my recounting of the day, or something was amiss.] And here.)

Everything else is gravy. (Or cream in the coffee.)

I've never expected us to move from summer languor to school year rigor in 0-to-60, though Anne and Betsy are experiencing some of that in a way that Ramona and I can still skim over. Still, since I have a ten-year-old, full-time homeschooler, and a 16-year-old, part-time homeschooler, I'm going to hang on to my unschoolish ways awhile longer, and savor what I have, while learning to deal with what's new and different.

So, we are both back to school, and not back to school at our house. We are adjusting. Sometimes we are a little dizzy. We might need more Masses. More breakfast out. Definitely more coffee.

Most of all, as has always been true, we need each other. And we're here for each other.

Some things never change.

(Photo courtesy of Stock.xchng.)

You Find What Works and You Do It, Part IV

Part I
Part II
Part III

The next question:

Do you have set subjects that must be tackled by the laws of the state? If not, what plan did you follow for coming up with his coursework or are you using a curriculum like Kolbe or Seton?

No, I've never used anything like Kolbe or Seton, and yes, in our state we do report on the areas of language arts, math, science, social studies, and health. These are all a part of daily life and homeschooling, so I know we're covering them and my documentation makes that clear. In our first year of homeschooling, I made a simple form for monthly record keeping. Though I've tried other forms and methods, I always come back to this simple one because it matches our state requirements neatly and allows room for my own notes (and of course, I always add pages to this -- one form doesn't cover an entire semester, booklists, etc.) Notes eventually become a narrative transcript on all things read, studied, discussed, learned, mastered, and experienced. Here's my humble little form:

I've also always used the Living is Learning Curriculum guides because they're helpful for ideas, projects, and looking for gaps.

As for deciding what would be included, I covered a bit about our process in Part II -- assessing strengths, weaknesses, gaps, areas of interest, and -- sometimes, the bottom line -- beloved books we want to be sure our children read. Books about homeschooling high school, blogs, discussion groups,  and local friends were also invaluable resources along the way as we made decisions about what to do and what to cover.

The best way to give you an idea of what we ended up with for high school is to give you the outline of Anne-with-an-e's narrative transcript:

History and Literature (We included an explanation of how these are interwoven and are not necessarily separated into different "subjects" in our homeschool, and we included booklists and details covering ancient/early Church through the Renaissance, British/European, Shakespeare, American and Modern, biographies , poetry, travel and experiential learning, history and family heritage projects.)

Drama, Music, Art (Listed classes, experience, choirs, etc.)

Foreign Language (Spanish at community college, various exposure to Latin, self-taught ASL.)

Religion/Discussion/Living Our Faith (Included a booklist, a description of the kinds of discussion we regularly have at the dinner table, experience, activism, etc.)

Science (booklists, lab work, hands-on learning, veterinarian shadowing experience, etc.)

Math (listing of curriculum used)


If you have homeschooled high school and would like to chime in, I'd love to hear from you. I also want to put together a list of blogs that have discussed homeschooling high school kids.

You Find What Works and You Do It, Part III

Part I is here.
Part II is here.

 The next question:

"What do you think you might do differently for Ramona as she enters high school?"

Actually, we're already dealing with differences -- for Betsy, who's a junior this year. (Hey, I'm suddenly reminded of a great book series.)

The main difference is that we'll take greater advantage of early enrollment at the community college than we did with Anne. Now that we've got some experience with that whole thing, we're starting a bit earlier for Betsy.

Another difference is that because Betsy and Anne have always been the best of pals and do so much together, Betsy has been able to do certain things (such as writing and directing a play) earlier than Anne did. There are advantages to being a younger sister!

Other than that, it will be very similar: extensive reading, loads of discussion, writing (Betsy has written three novels, and perpetually has numerous short stories going, but she's decidedly not a fan of essay writing), math, living our faith.

Betsy will, as Anne did, do some prep for the ACT test. If your child knows for certain that she will attend community college before transferring to a four-year institution, the ACT test isn't really a necesssity* -- by the time she transfers, her transcript will do the talking.  We decided to go ahead and have Anne take the test, however, because we didn't want to close doors prematurely, just in case she did decide to apply and/or attend somewhere else. So, the ACT scores were helpful when she applied to Benedictine, and ended up being helpful with a scholarship (though, for community college, COMPASS test scores can also be used on scholarship applications.)

And I have to admit that I'm not yet even thinking about Ramona entering high school.

I'm gonna stay in denial about that one a little longer.

Part IV is here.


* 2018 Update: This varies from college to college. Always look into the requirements of the schools your child is considering. When Anne transferred to a nearby state college, they did not require an ACT score in addition to her community college transcript. By the time Betsy transferred to the same college, an ACT score was a requirement, even if one had an associate's degree from a community college. I don't understand the reasoning behind that requirement, but there you have it.

You Find What Works and You Do It, Part II

Part 1 is here.

Today I'm taking a look at this question:

"What did you think high school would look like for your oldest and how that has become a reality?"

I'm not sure I had any idea what high school would look like. (I apparently once told my daughters, "We'll deal with that when we get to it.") But that lines up neatly with not really knowing what my life will look like from one year to the next. I like to make plans, but I'm always open to the changes that I know life will throw our way.  And I know that living a deliberate life can certainly be compatible with flexibility and surprises.

What we did know was that we wanted to consider the following as Anne headed into high school:

• Anne's strengths and interests
• Her goals (personal, spiritual, educational, vocational) 
• Her gaps/areas of complete disinterest/weaker areas
• My strengths as a teacher 
• Atticus' strengths as a teacher 
• Outside resources (such as job shadowing or community college classes) 
• What an education means, what it is for: in high school, in college
• The reasons we started homeschooling in the first place 

Atticus adds: "As Robert Frost said, we must have 'the courage to start with insufficient knowledge.'"

And so, with insufficient knowledge, we started.

What we knew:

Reading and discussion have always been at the center of education in our house, so (as I always have) I made booklists:

• books I love
• books Atticus loves
• books Anne loves
• books Anne will love once she reads them
• books everyone should read
• books no one should have to read but everyone does
• books about history
• books about our faith
• books about science
• books about culture
• books about art
• biographies
• poetry
• Shakespeare
• books that defy categorization

I knew I wanted Anne to start keeping her own list -- she kept track of everything she read (which was very helpful down the road at transcript time.)

I knew that we would write (and we've had a weekly writing group with friends since Anne's sophomore year.)

I knew that we would probably use some stuff from The Teaching Company. (Budget note: you can often buy these on sale, or find used copies that are very inexpensive.)*

I knew that we would make use of a math curriculum (because I don't unschool Algebra well. I'm too busy hating advanced math to live it/learn it joyfully and my daughters inherited the anti-math gene from me).

I knew that I would continue making use of Living is Learning Guides -- for ideas, checklists, and resources.

I knew that we would use the community college* (via the early enrollment program), especially for foreign language classes.

I knew that I would be grateful for homeschoolers who blazed the trail and inspired me.

I knew that I would read books about homeschooling through high school. My list:  College Prep Homeschooling, Homeschooling the Teen Years, Homeschooling: A Family's Journey,  Homeschooling Through High School.  I can't say any single book is the book to get but I did take away helpful bits and pieces from each of these. (These days, I would add A Little Way of Homeschooling, but not my chapter -- I didn't have high schoolers when I wrote that, but other contributors did.)

I knew that I would take notes and keep records. I have always kept lots of notes on what we do, no matter how off-the-beaten-school-track it seems.

~~~~~

That's what we knew going in. And my half-formed vision did come into focus, did become the reality. I had a vague idea that high school would be a continuation of the ways in which we've always approached education at our house. For the most part it was, with various periods of panic, doubt, terror, or fatigue. Punctuated with happiness and delight, and saturated in gratitude that we kept going. 

I still have insufficient knowledge, and I'm still tweaking the process -- I'm guessing I won't have this whole high school thing perfected until sometime after Ramona's graduation. Too late for my own girls, but then I can pass my sufficient knowledge on to my daughters, in case they homeschool their offspring. Then they can say, "Mom, everything you did is old and out of date! This is insufficient knowledge!" 

And I'll say, "Yes! It is! Now go read some Robert Frost to your children."

* We ended up using Teaching Company courses for some American history, neurobiology, and math. Anne took courses at the community college and did a great job with Spanish I and II.

Part III is here.
Part IV is here. 

"You Find What Works and You Do It" (On Homeschooling, High Schooling, and Other Terrifying Things)

I was emailing a friend the other day about books on homeschooling, unschooling, and things in between. 

It is, after all, that time of year thou may'st in me behold, when curriculum catalogs, or none, or few, or many, do hang about the house.

On a related note, I recently heard from a blog friend (well, not that recently, and I'm sorry, BlogFriend, for taking so long to get this post started!) and she had the following questions:

• What did you think high school would look like for your oldest and how that has become a reality? 
• What do you think you might do differently for Ramona as she enters high school? 
• What would you do exactly the same? 
• Do you have set subjects that must be tackled by the laws of the state? 
• If not, what plan did you follow for coming up with his coursework or are you using a curriculum like Kolbe or Seton? 

Those are great questions begging for a series of blog posts. And of course, I'm hesitant to answer them because -- as my sidebar notes -- I'm not an expert on anything. But I can tell you what's worked for me. The other reason I'm hesitant to answer is that not only does every family have its own style and needs, but every child within a family is different. "An Edmisten Education" won't look exactly the same for Anne, Betsy and Ramona.

But, all those things add up to the same short answer that I offered in an email the other day: "You find what works for your family and then you do it."

But short doesn't always equal easy. Finding what works is challenging. But it's unavoidable. Sometimes you just don't know what works until you try it, tweak it, throw it out, and try something new. That's just part of the journey, dear Homeschooling Mom, not a failure on your part.

Tomorrow I'll tackle the first question (What did we think high school would look like, and how has that become a reality?) but for today, I'll just summarize a little bit about where we are right now:

Anne-with-an-e just graduated from Green Gables Homeschool.  She applied to and was accepted at a great Catholic college, and even got a lovely scholarship. It was encouraging to me that an Edmisten Education got her there. She ultimately decided, though, to spend at least her first year of college (possibly two, we'll see) at home, getting her Gen Eds out of the way. This feels like the right choice all around, and everyone is happy with it.

Betsy Ray just finished her sophomore year of high school, so I'll be talking about her in this series, too.

Ramona just finished 4th grade. (Wait, what? Isn't she three years old?!)

So, next year I will be homeschooling only two students (and I assume I may occasionally have to prod a college student to get her Psych homework off the kitchen table.) That's where we are at this moment.

Tomorrow I'll begin the nostalgic look back on our foray into Homeschool High School.

An actual photo of our homeschool: 

Or not. 

Find Part II here.
Find Part III here.
Find Part IV here.