Life and Faith in Hell's Kitchen

A great story about:

the Sisters of Life, a small order of nuns celebrating its 20th anniversary this summer. The sisters take traditional vows of poverty, chastity and obedience, but they also take a fourth vow "to protect and enhance the sacredness of human life." According to Archbishop Timothy Dolan, once the sisters connect with unwed pregnant women in need, "the battle is half over." 

The sisters are the hands and feet of Christ as they care for women in crisis:

There the women can stay as long as six months prior to giving birth and up to a year afterward, some holding down jobs, others studying. Meanwhile the sisters go about their lives of prayer, contemplation and occasional rollerblading. The nuns "rely on providence" – i.e., donations – for food, baby clothing and strollers. They excel at recruiting "Josephs" for heavier household chores. "Our motto is that no man leaves without doing us a favor," says Sister Rita Marie, the local convent superior.

The rooms are spartan and lights go out at 9 p.m. Following Cardinal O'Connor's vision, the nuns take a healing approach. They don't keep records of who is Catholic and who isn't, they don't try to convert anyone or arrange a baptism unless asked, and they don't even require that the women pray.

Since the first guest arrived in 1998, 150 babies have been born at the convent. The sisters take heart in "the beauty of a mother coming to the understanding of the dignity of her calling and how that gives life back to her," Sister Rita Marie explains.

Read the whole thing here.

When I Was a Pro-Choice Atheist, Part 5

I keep thinking that I've finished this series, and yet I know that this subject is never neatly wrapped up with a bow or a snappy ending. Just a few more thoughts.

Part 1 is here
Part 2 is here 
Part 3 is here
Part 4 is here 

Yesterday, when I talked with Sean Herriott on Relevant Radio, we spent some time on the idea that it's so hard to get past labels: pro-life, pro-choice, anti-abortion, pro-abortion, pro-death, pro-child, pro-woman, anti-woman, and on and on.

As Sean noted, we all tend to label ourselves according to our own understanding of our positions. And, we tend to label the other side according to our understanding of their position in relation to ours, rather than as a position or worldview in itself.

(And then we get mad, call each other names and go home and blog about it.)

I'm reminded of one of the best quotes I've ever encountered about disagreements. In Madeleine L'Engle's autobiographical book, A Circle of Quiet, she recounts an argument about baseball between her husband and ten-year-old son.

Bion said, "But, Daddy, you just don't understand!"

Hugh replied in his reasonable way, "It's not that I don't understand. I just don't agree with you."

To which our son returned, "If you don't agree with me, you don't understand."

That seems to be the way most of us communicate.

Instead of philosophies and worldviews being volleyed back and forth, instead of saying, "I know you don't agree with me, but have you considered this?" and reasonably presenting a position, we say, "You don't get it," and we walk away. And, on the receiving end (and I mean this whether one is on the pro-life or the pro-choice receiving end of such arguments) all too often, rather than logically considering another's position and continuing the conversation, we cut it off, as if hearts are changed over one cup of coffee.

Conversions happen slowly for most of us. They are a process, not a moment. So, keep talking.

On the other hand, sometimes everything we say seems to fall on deaf ears. We've tried to talk calmly, lovingly, we've tried to make it a two-way conversation, but we throw our hands up and are stuck feeling in Bion's place: "If you don't agree with me, you don't understand." As I mentioned to Sean at the end of yesterday's conversation, some conversations come to a standstill. We decide, or we are told, "We have to agree to disagree."

It's hard to hear that (and to say that) because most of us, deep down, genuinely think that if others really understood what we said,  they'd agree with us. But, sometimes, they really do understand and they really do still disagree.

That's called free will. 

There's still the responsibility for each of us on our respective sides to do what we believe is right, but there will always be clashes. We are a fallen race. Still, there is prayer and love and a relationship.  There's still the chance for me to try to be the kind of friend that my Catholic friend was to me all those years ago. He (and C.S. Lewis) helped me to see that God can "hate the sin but not the sinner."

Can't I try to do the same? Isn't that what the Gospel commands us to do?

If Thy law had not been my delight,

I should have perished in my affliction.

I will never forget Thy precepts

for by them, Thou has given me Life.

~~ Psalm 119:92

On the Radio Tuesday Morning

I'll be on Relevant Radio's Morning Air show Tuesday morning (tomorrow), February 8, at 8 a.m. central time.

We'll be addressing a subject still very much on my mind, since I just blogged about it -- how to talk with pro-choice friends and family.

You can listen online here (or visit that same page to find a station in your area.) 

When I Was a Pro-Choice Atheist ... Part 4

Opening with the same old thing ... Because I know that some of my friends' kids sometimes read my blog, I'll start with the same caveat I used in the last post: If you're young enough that your mother ever says, "That topic is a little too mature for you," please click away now or go ask your mom or dad to preview this post for you.

Part 1 of this series is here
Part 2 is here 
Part 3 is here

As I mentioned last time, Christian arguments against abortion didn't work on me when I was not a Christian. I wish I could say that unadulterated science is what did the trick in an unadulterated way. Not exactly, but the science did play a part.

Initially, part of my pro-choice position was based on the idea that a first-trimester pregnancy was nothing more than "a blob of tissue." It was a common phrase, commonly believed (and, unbelievably, still commonly used today.)  It was easy for me to justify a simple medical procedure that cleaned up a blob of tissue and solved a woman's problem.

Then I saw Lennart Nilsson's photography.  I was honestly stunned. I'd had no idea what a baby in the womb looked like at six weeks ... eight ... ten. The tissue looked like a baby. I was horribly shaken.

I'd like to say my position changed overnight. It did not. There were still a lot of "Yes, but," discussions with my prolife friend, and still a lot of prioritizing of rights:

"Yes, but, if the fetus can't feel pain, shouldn't the mother's rights trump the baby's?"
"Yes, but, what about cases of rape and incest?"
"Yes, but, even I become pro-life myself, do I have a right to tell other women what to do?"

Because my friend and I sat and talked over coffee, because we were respectful of one another with a sincere desire on both our sides to reach the truth, we were able to talk through the intricacies of these issues. For example, I remember arguing once that the baby was not a sentient being. He countered that logically my argument should then extend to all who are not sentient. Was sentience the definition of humanity? Of a right to life? What about a two-year-old in a coma? "That's different!" I protested. "Why?" he asked, "Because given your position, the logical conclusion is ...." At that point I'd say something like, "Shut up and let's order some cheesecake." But, I'd head home and think through the things we'd discussed. 

What I am very grateful for is a friend who did not shout me down, cut me off, or dismiss me. He, a fellow imperfect human being, a fellow sinner, held me accountable for what I said I believed. He walked through the logic (or sometimes, the lack of it) in my positions. When I posited arguments, he kindly challenged me to consider their validity, to examine whether or not I was creating straw men. He was not only performing a spiritual work of mercy, he was challenging me to brush up on my grasp of a logical fallacies.

My conversion to a pro-life position was, in the end, a combination of many things: my conversion to Christianity, my understanding that God can separate love for the sinner from hate for the sin, the scientific evidence of the baby as a separate human being, my emotional reaction to learning about the various methods used in abortions, my acceptance of the fact that a child's complete dependence does not grant a mother or father absolute rights (and, if anything, places the child firmly in the camp of the defenseless and voiceless), and my realization that an authentic feminism is one that doesn't harm women or embrace the flawed philosophy of sexually irresponsible men.  Along the way, I witnessed some beautiful things: a woman I worked with who got pregnant, selflessly carried the baby, and then gave it up for adoption; a young woman I know who was pregnant as the result of a rape -- she carried the child to term and found the perfect couple to adopt him. The self-sacrifice of these women was an inspiration to all who knew them. 

I feel the need to offer a disclaimer: I have no idea what the answer is to the question of finally ending abortion. It's not purely a scientific argument, or we'd be there. It's also tied up with moral and spiritual problems, and our sexuality (which humanity is known for messing up royally on a regular basis.) I know only what changed my mind, and I know that it took a long time, and required overcoming a huge amount of denial and personal experience and feeling. I know that it took having someone in my life who cared to talk to me about it.

I know that my personal experience is not universal; I don't pretend that it is. I cannot offer final, concrete answers to the question, "What do we do?" I don't know what we do. But I can offer this -- When you are talking with someone who is pro-choice, don't forget that she quite likely has personal experience with abortion. When you talk about "those pro-aborts" (and I still remember, after several years as a prolifer, hearing that phrase from a priest and shuddering, because I knew that not all who called themselves pro-choice were as hard-hearted as he assumed they were) you are talking about her sister, her best friend, her mother, her daughter, herself. 

I often wonder if we can turn this tide only one heart, one friend, one co-worker, one relative, one post-abortive woman, one person who loves another person, at a time. Speaking the truth in love (Ephesians, 4:15).

I wish I had a simpler answer.

(Part 5 of this series is here.)

When I Was a Pro-Choice Atheist ... Part 3

Opening with the same old thing ... Because I know that some of my friends' kids sometimes read my blog, I'll start with the same caveat I used in the last post: If you're young enough that your mother ever says, "That topic is a little too mature for you," please click away now or go ask your mom or dad to preview this post for you.

Part 1 of this series is here
Part 2 is here 

I finished the last post with this:

Arguments about the baby, a right to life, fetal pain ... they bounced off me when I was twenty years old and obsessed with working out the details of what 20th century sexual freedom meant.

Working out the meaning of freedom was clearly central to my position. Because I accepted premarital sex and birth control as givens, everything proceeded from those givens: "If I choose to have sex, and choose to use birth control but my birth control fails, the only way to remain free (i.e., to continue with my life as I have envisioned and structured it) is to remove the pregnancy from the picture." Period. End of story. If I did not have access to abortion, I couldn't do that. And anyone proceeding from the opposite premise ("You shouldn't have been having sex in the first place!") lost me. I wrote them off as religious fanatics. They lived an entirely different morality than I did.

And that leads to one of my main points: the abortion debate is often framed in religious terms (Nat Hentoff is a notable exception.) Arguing for a right to life, and for the dignity of the human person because he is created in the image and likeness of God ... got you nowhere with me. I didn't believe in God. (Note the "Keep your theology off my biology" chants at counter-protests during the March for Life.) It was just like when a Christian tried to convince me that Jesus was my Lord because the Bible said so. Whoa, I'd reply -- first you have to convince me that the Bible is worth believing in to start with. Such circular arguments struck me as ridiculous. If I didn't believe in your version of God, I wasn't going to accept your version of the way I should live my life.

I was not a Christian. You could not make Christian arguments against abortion and expect me to accept them. Since we were living out different moralities and had battling worldviews, I thought that my opponents on the issue would never understand why a woman might need an abortion. There was no point in talking to them.  I saw them as hypocrites ("Where's the Christian love?") and louts without compassion.

For many who hold a prolife position, it may sound absurd to characterize a pro-choice position as compassionate, but that's exactly what I (and many of my friends) did. We saw ourselves as the compassionate ones -- we cared about women. We cared about the fear that accompanied an unexpected pregnancy. We cared about the financial inability to care for a child. We cared about the health concerns that might make carrying a baby to term precarious or impossible.

But what about the baby, you say?

Indeed. What about the baby? As I've said before, the baby wasn't on my radar screen. (I hadn't yet examined arguments about the baby's development, though those kinds of arguments did eventually have an impact on me.) But it's important to understand that I saw my position as rational, loving, and supportive of women. I did not see myself as advancing the cause of killing babies. You may laugh at my self-deception, but that was where I stood. I felt compassion for women in crisis pregnancies. I now see it as a tragically misguided compassion that failed to take into account the third person in the equation (the first two being the mother and the father), but it was an honest and sincere compassion and I believe that is still where many people fall in the pro-choice spectrum. 

It's important to think about this when we who are pro-life talk to our friends who are pro-choice. To acknowledge that level of compassion and then build on it is much more helpful than labeling someone a murderer. Because -- and I realize that I'm sharing only my own past experience and I can't speak for all who are pro-choice -- once you condemn someone as a baby killer (or as a supporter of baby killing) they will stop listening to you. 

Especially if they've had an abortion themselves or they love someone who has. 

~~~~~

Part 4 is here.
Part 5 is here.

When I Was a Pro-Choice Atheist ... Part 2

Because I know that some of my friends' kids sometimes read my blog, I'll start with the same caveat I used in the last post:

If you're young enough that your mother ever says, "That topic is a little too mature for you," please click away now or go ask your mom or dad to preview this post for you.

~~~~~

In Part 1, I said:

The bottom line for me was that a woman should have the right to decide for herself what to do with her sexuality, her body, and -- if her contraception failed -- her pregnancy.

My pro-choice position arose from what I saw as a civil rights issue. Women, I believed, must have as much freedom and autonomy as men do. Anything else was unjust.

I still believe that. But I have a deeper understanding now of what authentic freedom is.

Back then, I thought of "freedom" as "the right to do whatever I want, whenever I desire, with whomever I choose, however I choose it." That was the male modus operandi (or so I thought) and in order to gain equal footing, women needed the same choices and the same freedoms.

I took exception to traditional notions of gender roles. Why were women perceived as sexual gatekeepers, while men were never blamed for constant conquering, since boys will be boys? The many derogatory names for sexually active women had no counterparts in the male world. I found the assumption that women were somehow more naturally virtuous grating. I felt no more virtuous than the guy sitting next to me in my History of Film class. Why should we not all be allowed the same freedoms, without the name calling? (And not just in the sexual arena, of course. The same was true in the work world. Ambitious women were -- and still are -- called names quite different from the cheering labels ambitious men receive. )

When the abortion question was framed by these parameters, it made sense to me to be pro-choice. It was about rights and freedom. It was about independence. It was about getting out from under the constraints of being the sexual gatekeeper. I wanted it all ... or at least, I wanted the freedom to choose whatever part of "all" I wanted, in the same way I saw men choose. I wanted control.

Notice the "I, I, I" of my definition. It was all about me and what I wanted, just as (I noticed, little by little) the men I held up as my models of social and sexual freedom tended to make the world all about them. 

But what about a higher ideal? What about those people -- men and women -- who approached the world from a different perspective? What of the human beings who, before considering themselves, considered their responsibility (to themselves, their ideals, and other people) rather than proceeding from an assumption of the right to unrestrained action?

When I met people who lived their lives in that way, when I began to see the possibilities of that kind of world, my views began to change.

And do you see how, in all of my previous musings, I hadn't yet even dug into the territory of the reality or nature of the baby? And that's why I don't think there is a one-size-fits-all argument to the pro-life position.*  Because until we know why the person we're talking to is pro-choice, we can't know how our reasoning will be received. Arguments about the baby, a right to life, fetal pain ... they bounced off me when I was twenty years old and obsessed with working out the details of what 20th century sexual freedom meant.

I had to start at a much more foundational place of basic human ethics and responsibility.

~~~~~
*That's not to say there aren't steadfast truths -- abortion is intrinsically, objectively wrong. There is a right to life.  But I do believe culpability can vary wildly within individual circumstances of abortion in a confused and murky world.

~~~~~

Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

When I Was a Pro-Choice Atheist ... Part 1

Today is the annual March for Life.

I've been sitting here trying to decide what to write. I think I know where this may go, so if you're young enough that your mother often says, "That topic is a little too mature for you," please click away now or go ask your mom or dad to preview this post for you.

I was pro-choice for a long time. I attended rallies, manned tables to gather signatures, marched in marches. I remember asking Bob Kerrey, when he visited our college campus, about his thoughts on abortion (I was troubled that he was too pro-life at the time; funny that we're now on opposite sides of the fence.)

I was pro-choice from the time I was a teen until I was 30 years old. The bottom line for me was that a woman should have the right to decide for herself what to do with her sexuality, her body, and -- if her contraception failed -- her pregnancy.

The contraception was taken for granted. It made sense. To delay or prevent pregnancy within a marriage, to prevent pregnancy outside of marriage .... if one was going to have sex, one needed reliable contraception, and if one's reliable contraception failed, one needed access to safe and legal abortion. Because we'd already decided that the sex would happen. We just needed to deal with the consequences of the sex.

And this leads me to a moment I vividly recall -- considering one of the consequences of sex. A child. I remember sitting in the little rental house in which Atticus and I lived at the time. I can see the ugly, green carpet on the living room floor. I remember saying to Atticus, out loud, for the first time, testing the words: "I don't think ... that people ... unless they're ready to deal with the possibility of getting pregnant ... unless they're ready to deal responsibly with a child ... should have sex."

Monumental. Those words represented a seismic mental shift. It seemed, given my background and former philosophy, almost savage and primitive, uncivilized, to say -- to even think -- such a thing. And yet I had come to believe it.

I was no longer "just" pro-life. To be pro-life had come to mean to me that if one became pregnant, one shouldn't abort. This new belief was bigger and scarier than that. I was saying that only married people should have sex. I still believed in contraception -- I was several years away from becoming a Catholic -- and was proceeding from the premise that if two people were married and their contraception failed they would at least have each other and some stability to offer their unexpected baby.

This new perspective felt so unbelievably old-fashioned, prudish, silly and impossible that I couldn't believe I was embracing it. And yet it made sense. A new kind of sense that scared me.

It made sense -- it mattered -- that if a new human being was created during a sexual encounter, the two people who created that being had a responsibility to it.  It was suddenly about more than the sex.

And yet, in this world in which a March for Life must exist, the arguments often  come back to sex. We have a right to child-free sex, we think, and if the sex ends up cheating us by producing a baby, then we have a right to revert to the child-free part of that equation.

That's the fight: not whether or not the baby is human, or fully formed, or viable or any of that. Usually, it's about the sex.

This is not to minimize the pain of abortion. An abortion takes not only the baby's life but the life of the mother's soul. And that's a part of the deal that so many don't want to talk about.

(to be continued ....)

~~~~~

Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

News from the Inbox: Good Counsel Homes and Lumina

Prolife News:

An additional way to help during these 40 Days for Life -- Check out and consider donating to Good Counsel Homes. From their website:

Good Counsel, a nationally recognized nonprofit, founded in Hoboken, NJ by Father Benedict Groeschel, CFR, and Christopher Bell, for homeless pregnant mothers and single mothers with babies, operates five homes in New York State and has helped replicate programs in eight states. Good Counsel also conducts post-abortion counseling and a referral network. Additionally, Good Counsel operates separate national Helplines for post-abortion and crisis pregnancies.

Another outreach from Good Counsel is Lumina, which offers post-abortion help:

A ray of light in abortion's darkness!
Living with the pain of abortion can be overwhelming. Feelings of anxiety, panic, grief, guilt and shame can often seem insurmountable, but there is a way out of the pain. You do not have to suffer alone! Countless women and men have reached healing through Lumina's services, which include group programs, Entering Canaan Retreats, referrals to professional therapists, post-abortion ministries, and clergy members trained in post abortion stress. A network of women and men who have walked through the pain of abortion are also ready to accompany you through the darkness, into the joy of a renewed life.

We know that no matter what your beliefs you can experience many conflicting emotions, if you, or someone close to you has had an abortion.

We also recognize the resistance of society to acknowledge these feelings, the result of which is suppressed emotions with nowhere to turn and a feeling of being crazy and different from others.

During These 40 Days for Life ...

... please remember to pray for all women who have had abortions, and remember these words from Pope John Paul II:

I would now like to say a special word to women who have had an abortion.

The Church is aware of the many factors which may have influenced your decision, and she does not doubt that in many cases it was a painful and even shattering decision. The wound in your heart may not yet have healed. Certainly what happened was and remains terribly wrong.

But do not give in to discouragement and do not lose hope.

Try rather to understand what happened and face it honestly. If you have not already done so, give yourselves over with humility and trust to repentance. The Father of mercies is ready to give you his forgiveness and his peace in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

You will come to understand that nothing is definitively lost and you will also be able to ask forgiveness from your child, who is now living in the Lord.

With the friendly and expert help and advice of other people, and as a result of your own painful experience, you can be among the most eloquent defenders of everyone's right to life. Through your commitment to life, whether by accepting the birth of other children or by welcoming and caring for those most in need of someone to be close to them, you will become promoters of a new way of looking at human life.

Read more here, and read all of Pope John Paul II's encyclical, Evangelium Vitae, here.

For more on 40 Days for Life, go here.

Feast of the Holy Innocents

When [the Magi] had departed, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, "Arise, take the young child and His mother, flee to Egypt, and stay there until I tell you; for Herod is going to search for the child to destroy Him."
 

When he arose, he took the young child and His mother by night and departed into Egypt. He stayed there until the death of Herod, that what the Lord had said through the prophet might be fulfilled, "Out of Egypt have I called My Son." When Herod realized that he had been made a fool of by the Magi, he became furious. He ordered the massacre of all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity two years and under, in accordance with the time he had ascertained from the Magi.

Then was fulfilled what had been said through Jeremiah the Prophet: "A voice was heard in Ramah, sobbing and loud lamentation; Rachel weeping for her children, and she would not be consoled, for they were no more." ~~ Matt. 2:13-18

*****
Today the Church honors the innocent children slaughtered at Herod's hand, the martyrs who died for Christ without even knowing of Him in this life. For a beautiful commentary, see today's reading at Universalis (scroll down to "A sermon of St Quodvultdeus.")

And today, I also think of the holy innocents killed each day through abortion. St. Quodvultdeus wrote

"You destroy those who are tiny in body because fear is destroying your heart. You imagine that if you accomplish your desire you can prolong your own life, though you are seeking to kill Life himself ..."

and in these few, powerful words reached the core of the issue. The issue, frighteningly often, is fear. Fear drives many women to abortion: fear of one's own failure, fear of the responsibility of parenthood, fear of financial, health or emotional problems, fear of the father of the baby (do you know how many abortions are coerced? See links such as this article at The Eliot Institute, but please be forewarned that it is difficult reading.)

A woman considering abortion might imagine that if she "accomplishes her desire" she can "prolong her own life" -- in other words, she believes the lie (as Herod did) that removing the child from the picture will solve the problem.

But the child -- like Jesus in Herod's life -- cannot simply be removed. Jesus is Life Himself. The child in the womb, so intimately connected to his mother (even to a mother who does not want to, or is afraid to, acknowledge the connection) is a connection to Life. Removing the child does violence not only to the innocent baby's body but to the mother's relationship with Life Himself. She becomes a modern-day Herod, driven by a fear that destroys her heart and her soul.

A post-abortive woman, if she doesn't come to see the reality of the act, reject it, and repent of it, will sink more and more deeply into a defense of it, to the point of irrationality. But, if she turns to God, to Life, He can and will restore her heart, her life and her connection to Him.

There is hope. There is healing. And all the saints in heaven, including the Holy Innocents, are praying for it.

For more on the aftermath of abortion, see the following links:

The Eliot Institute
Rachel's Vineyard
Hope After Abortion
The National Office of PostAbortion Reconciliation and Healing
Operation Outcry.

For a beautiful shrine dedicated to the unborn, see The Shrine of the Holy Innocents.

*****

Finally, when I think of Holy Innocents, I also think of those babies lost through miscarriage, stillbirth, and sudden infant death. I think of every parent who has ever lost a child of any age, in any way.  So, today, I am praying for all the grieving parents of all holy innocents everywhere, children who have died too soon ... for all who, having been open to life, have suffered in seeing a life lost.

May you feel God's peace and comfort on this solemn but beautiful feast day.

May you feel the assurance that we will see our lost children again.

A Meaningful Lent: Part 10 It's the Solemnity of St. Joseph!

An oasis in the desert.

A Solemnity (read: "It's as big as a Sunday!")

Celebrate today the earthly foster father of Jesus.

I find nothing sweeter to my imagination than to see the celestial little Jesus in the arms of this great saint, calling him father a thousand and a thousand times in his childlike language, and with a heart all full of childlike love.

~~ St. Francis de Sales,
from The Mystical Flora of St. Francis de Sales

Though we have always celebrated St. Joseph's day (by "always" I really mean, "Since I became Catholic," and "I'll jump on any legitimate feast day,") I've not paid much attention to the Italian traditions that go hand-in-hand with this Solemnity. But, one of the priests in our parish grew up with Sicilian traditions, and he's been sharing them with us, inspiring me to do more with St. Joseph's day than to simply feast on the things from which I've been fasting.

More information on traditional St. Joseph celebrations can be found at Catholic Culture and Catholic Cuisine.

On a more serious note, I always say prayers of thanksgiving on this day for the intercession of St. Joseph, which has been an enormous blessing for our family.

I believe he prayed for us through Atticus's conversion, through miscarriages, through doubts and fears about more miscarriages (which can lead to fears of being open to life) and for the spiritual growth of our domestic church.

My beloved St. Joseph is the model husband and father ... giving of himself completely, pouring himself out in body and spirit, offering a total self-donation for his wife and foster-son. May he hear our prayers and cries for intercession, and may he intercede before the throne of God for our family, for all fathers, and for all who call on him with love and faith in the Savior whom he raised, and especially today for many fathers who are seeking work in these difficult economic times.

One of my favorite prayers for the intercession of St. Joseph:

Oh, Saint Joseph, whose protection is so great,
so strong, so prompt, before the Throne of God,
I place before you, all my interest and desires.

Oh, Saint Joseph, do assist me by your powerful
intercession and obtain for me from your Divine Son,
all spiritual blessings, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
So having engaged here below your heavenly power,
I may offer my thanksgiving and homage to the most
loving of Fathers.

Oh, Saint Joseph, I never weary contemplating you,
and Jesus asleep in your arms; I dare not approach
while he reposes near your heart. Press Him in my
name and kiss His fine head for me and ask Him
to return the Kiss when I draw my dying breath.
Saint Joseph, Patron of departing souls --

Pray for us.


(Image above is Georges de La Tour's "Christ in the Carpenter's Shop", 1645)

"Babies Are Important"

When Anne-with-an-e was very young and we participated in a Life Chain, I didn't want her to have to deal (yet ... I knew the day would come for more detail) with the reality of what an abortion was. So, I told her that all the signs were different ways of saying, "Babies Are Important." I explained that some people don't understand how helpless babies are, how much they need our full protection and care, even before they're born, and so we were trying to help spread the message that babies -- all babies -- are important.

Down the road, when her little sister Betsy saw or heard something about abortion, and asked what it was, Anne chimed in with, "It means babies are important, Betsy!"

And so they are.

Important facts:

• The UnChoice Campaign, from the Elliott Institute -- staying informed on the most recent abortion studies and news, facts about teens, the most recent research, resources and more.

• "Abortion is the ultimate exploitation of women." -- Alice Paul
  
  (More quotes from early feminists, who proclaimed an authentic feminism that respected women, pregnancy, childbearing and motherhood.)

• A Million Rosaries for Unborn Babies -- see this link for details.
  

• Rachel's Vineyard news, articles, resources for men.

• Babies for Life -- Making it easier to donate cord blood.

On the anniversary of Roe v. Wade

John Paul II's words to women who have had an abortion:

I would now like to say a special word to women who have had an abortion.

The Church is aware of the many factors which may have influenced your decision, and she does not doubt that in many cases it was a painful and even shattering decision. The wound in your heart may not yet have healed. Certainly what happened was and remains terribly wrong.

But do not give in to discouragement and do not lose hope.

Try rather to understand what happened and face it honestly. If you have not already done so, give yourselves over with humility and trust to repentance. The Father of mercies is ready to give you his forgiveness and his peace in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

You will come to understand that nothing is definitively lost and you will also be able to ask forgiveness from your child, who is now living in the Lord.

With the friendly and expert help and advice of other people, and as a result of your own painful experience, you can be among the most eloquent defenders of everyone's right to life. Through your commitment to life, whether by accepting the birth of other children or by welcoming and caring for those most in need of someone to be close to them, you will become promoters of a new way of looking at human life.

Read more here, and read all of Pope John Paul II's encyclical, Evangelium Vitae, here.

from the archives: I'm So Predictable

I wrote this in '05, my first year of blogging, and have rerun it each December since then.

I'm rerunning it again, because that's part of what makes me so predictable. And, it's all still true, except that Anne-with-an-e is now old enough to babysit, and Ramona gets easily through the Mass. And, this year, though our date night may not happen, since Atticus and I indulged in an overnight getaway last weekend, we'll still have the same conversations. And the ending?

Predictable and true.


**********************************************************

My husband and I have a holiday tradition. Every year, close to Christmas, we get a babysitter, go out for Chinese food, buy all the last-minute ...

** (WARNING: Santa spoiler ahead) **

... stocking stuffers and generally fall in love all over again -- with each other, with our children, and with the magic of Christmas. We talk about our days, about my parents and his, about holiday travel plans, about how we'll keep the youngest child happy and calm during the long Christmas Eve Mass. And we talk about how we can't believe how drastically our Christmases have changed over the years.

You see, when we married, we didn't want children. Children were nice enough for other people, but not for us. We didn't want the mess, the commitment, the responsibility. We were happy to be "child free" as opposed to "childless."

Then something happened. I became a Christian.

Oops. Short-circuit in the selfishness department. I began to long for a child. Soon, Atticus's heart caught up with mine in the procreation department, and we set forth to create a family. After some heartbreaking miscarriages, we had Anne. But only one child, Atticus said. One child is enough.

Then I became a Catholic.

Oops. Short-circuit in the openness to life department. We had Betsy. Several more heartbreaking miscarriages later, God awarded us with Ramona, and here we are. Falling in love again at Christmas time, and crazy, head-over-heels in love with our children.

And all because of of a Child born in Bethlehem two thousand years ago. Had Mary said, "No, thank you, I'd like to remain child-free," I would be childless. There would have been no conversion, no short-circuit, and most certainly, no joy. How does one thank God for that?

I always seem to do it in the same old, tired way.

I cry.

May you, too, shed some tears of ineffable gratitude this Christmas.

Pro-Life News

Click here for more about the Worldwide Rosary for Unborn Babies, Saturday, October 18th, 2008, at 9 a.m. (when it's 9 a.m. at your house, that's when you pray.)

From the St. Michael the Archangel website:

Because participants will be praying the Rosary during the 9:00 a.m. hour according to the particular time zone they are in, it is hoped that the earth will be circled with multiple waves of Rosaries within a 24-hour time period.

*****

From the UnChoice Campaign:

Click here to read more about why abortion is so often the "un" choice. Abortion is far more about fear, panic and desperation than it is about making a rational choice.

Go here for ideas on help and healing after abortion.

The baby born twice

Amazing story. Beautiful baby.

h/t: Atticus

A beautiful pro-life resource for healing

Visit Abortion Changes You to see what I mean.

The Unchoice Challenge

This quiz from the Elliot Institute may have some statistics that surprise you.

If you've had an abortion, or know someone who has, helpful, healing resources are available -- visit this page at After Abortion, and this page at The UnChoice.

One of Maureen's virtues is her generosity

Visit Maureen Wittmann here to see what I mean.

Maureen writes:

I'd like to talk about teaching virtues through literature. And I would like your input.

Here are the seven virtues:

Humility (modesty)
Kindness (admiration)
Forgiveness (composure)
Diligence (zeal/integrity/labor)
Charity (giving)
Temperance (self-restraint)
Chastity (purity)

What books would you recommend to go with one or more of these virtues? Let's get a list going for everyone in the family -- preschool, grade school, middle school, high school, and adult.

I'll take all of your suggestions and pull them together into one great list. I'll post it here and at the website for free download.

One suggestion from me? Visit Maureen's blog to see virtue in action.

When [the Magi] had departed, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, "Arise, take the young child and His mother, flee to Egypt, and stay there until I tell you; for Herod is going to search for the child to destroy Him."
When he arose, he took the young child and His mother by night and departed into Egypt. He stayed there until the death of Herod, that what the Lord had said through the prophet might be fulfilled, "Out of Egypt have I called My Son." When Herod realized that he had been made a fool of by the Magi, he became furious. He ordered the massacre of all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity two years and under, in accordance with the time he had ascertained from the Magi.

Then was fulfilled what had been said through Jeremiah the Prophet: "A voice was heard in Ramah, sobbing and loud lamentation; Rachel weeping for her children, and she would not be consoled, for they were no more." ~~ Matt. 2:13-18

**********
Today the Church honors the innocent children slaughtered at Herod's hand, the martyrs who died for Christ without knowing of Him in this life.

For a beautiful commentary, see today's reading at Universalis, from a sermon of St Quodvultdeus.

**********

And, today, I am praying for all the holy innocents everywhere who have died too soon ... for all the lost babies and their mourning mothers ... for all who, having been open to life, have suffered in seeing a life lost.

May you feel God's peace and comfort on this solemn but beautiful feast day.

May you feel the assurance that we will see our lost children again.