Poetry Friday

It's a very Nebraska kind of day.

By that I mean that on Tuesday, it was sixty degrees and today it's four.

Degrees.

Welcome to my state.


When I'm feeling Nebraskaesque, I think of Ted Kooser. The basements of Goodwill stores feel rather Nebraskan to me, too, though I imagine they are of the same stripe wherever they exist.



In the Basement of the Goodwill Store
by Ted Kooser

In musty light, in the thin brown air
of damp carpet, doll heads and rust,
beneath long rows of sharp footfalls
like nails in a lid, an old man stands
trying on glasses, lifting each pair
from the box like a glittering fish
and holding it up to the light
of a dirty bulb. Near him, a heap ...

(... read the rest here at the Poetry Foundation.)

What interests me about this poem is that I can identify with it in so many ways. The whole Goodwill thing fascinates me. I am the one who has cast off, the one who has purchased, the one who has worn something as a joke, the one who has shopped because of true need.

(The only trouble with donating to and shopping at one and the same Goodwill store is that there's the danger your child will paw through the stuffed animal bin and say, "Mommy! This is just like ours ... Mommmmeeee! This is ours!")

At Goodwill, I've seen everyone. There are the moms like me, families who live on one income and so reuse, recycle, and shop for jeans at second-hand stores, because this is reality, and in prioritizing, we'd rather buy fresh fruit and books than a new pair of pants that will be outgrown in a month. There was, one day, a woman whom I know to be rather well off, shopping in Goodwill, dressed in a very old coat and a hat pulled down far enough to nearly cover her eyes. I wanted to tell her it was okay to be there, that it's good stewardship, that she shouldn't worry so much. And there are those who are the old man in this poem, "old and thin and no longer particular," those whose need is far greater than mine, those who find glittering fish, and who, as we see in this poem, are reflections of ourselves.

And, in a final irony:

A few years ago, I searched my house from top to bottom for my Ted Kooser books. He had visited for a reading when I was in college, and I knew I had a couple of his poetry collections around here somewhere, didn't I? Where were those books? It seems, alas, that in a frenzied fit of cleaning and decluttering, I must have given them away. To Goodwill.

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The entire Poetry Friday round-up is here, at Mommy's Favorite Children's Books.

Quote for a Friday morning: Break my will into pieces

I will attempt, day by day, to break my will into pieces.

I want to do God's Holy Will, not my own!

– St. Gabriel Possenti

(with thanks to myCatholic.com for their daily quotes from saints.)

A Meaningful Lent, Part 6: His Lent and My Lent

It never fails.

I always make plans for Lent. Plenty o' plans.

But, God always has His own plans for my Lent.

Just a friendly, neighborhood reminder: if your Lent doesn't turn out to be what you envisioned, keep in mind that it's because we aren't really in charge. We never are.

If He hands you a different Lent from the one you planned, be assured that it is truly from His Hand, and tell Him, simply, "Thank You."

Ash Wednesday

"For He says:

In an acceptable time I heard you,
and on the day of salvation I helped you.

Behold, now is a very acceptable time;
behold, now is the day of salvation."

-- 2 Cor. 6:2

A Meaningful Lent, Part 5: Confession

In this post, I want to share my three best tips for a meaningful Lent.

They are:

1. Go to confession.
2. Go to confession.
3. Go to confession.

And, if I haven't mentioned it lately, I also think going to confession would be a good thing to do.

If you love going to confession, good for you. Keep it up.

If you hate going to confession, consider giving up "not going to confession" for Lent.

If you hate to go, but love having gone, you may be a Dorothy Parker fan. (Of her profession, she said, "Hate to write ... love having written.")

I am a Dorothy Parker sort of confessee. Hate to go. Love having gone. Love going regularly, even though I hate going. (And, although it has no place in this post, I'll share another Dorothy Parker quote: "This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force." Love that, although it's completely out of place here.)

And, finally, one more Dorothy Parker quote that does have a place here:

“It's not the tragedies that kill us, it's the messes.”

Confess the mess.

And, that's the last of Dorothy Parker I can share. If I repeat her most famous stuff, I'll have to head straight to confession.

A Meaningful Lent, Part 4: Lent with Young Children

Some of our favorite things:

The Lamb of God Calendar

On poster board, draw a picture of a lamb. (I drew this one freehand, but based it on this one.)

Divide the body into squares to make a calendar, covering the entire period of Lent.

Every day, Ramona glues a cottonball on that day’s space. This is such a great way for little ones to count down to Easter and it gives them a concrete picture of the length of the season of waiting. When Easter arrives, we replace the little Lenten notes (click on the picture for a larger version -- you'll see the notes, which say things like, "Pray ... fast ... give ... Love") with big, colorful "Alleluia!" notes. We've been doing this one since Anne-with-an-e was little, and all of my girls have loved this activity.

(In an effort to give credit where credit is due, I have to say that the credit for this goes to someone else -- I just wish I knew who! I saw a very similar idea in a little newsletter years ago. They suggested gluing cotton balls on a paper plate lamb, but I made a wall calendar instead. So, whoever you are ... you inspired this wall calendar, and we thank you!)

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*Sacrifice Jar

There are different versions of this all over the place, but here's what we do: We place an empty jar next to a bowl of dried beans. For every sacrifice, prayer, act of kindness or penance performed, a bean goes into the jar.

On Easter morning, the beans will be replaced with jelly beans and M&Ms, reminding us that the rewards of Heaven will be sweet!

**********

Lenten Caterpillars

This idea is from my dear friend, Holly, godmother to all of my children.

Cut out 1/4 of a cardboard egg carton and paint it for the caterpillar's body. Glue on "googly eyes" (or paint them on) and use pipe cleaners for antennae and legs (or toothpicks and tiny pom-poms.) When Holy Week arrives, wrap your caterpillars in paper or coffee filters (their cocoons.) On Holy Saturday night (after kids are in bed) tear open the cocoon and replace it with a butterfly.

The butterfly will depend on the artistic skills -- or lack thereof -- of Mom and/or Dad. Our butterflies have ranged from drawings, to origami, to a picture from the internet (that was a hectic year) to fun foam and sequins. Add to the symbolism of rebirth with a note proclaiming, “Jesus gives us New Life! Alleluia!”

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*Homemade Soft Pretzels

1 1/2 c. warm water
1 pkg. yeast
1 tsp. salt
1 tbsp. sugar
4 c. flour
1 beaten egg
Coarse salt

Measure warm water into large (warm) mixing bowl. Sprinkle on yeast and stir until it looks soft. Add salt, sugar and flour. Mix/knead dough. Shape dough into the usual (or your own special) pretzel shapes.

Grease cookie sheets and lay pretzels on them and brush with beaten egg. Sprinkle with coarse salt. Bake at 425 degrees for 12-15 minutes.

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I always choose a new prayer for us to learn during Lent. We say it nightly, at bedtime prayers, and memorize painlessly. (We do this at other times of the year, too, as a way for all of us to learn various prayers.)

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More ideas to come!

Where middle age and young children meet

Did Ramona ask me for bread and butter?

No.

She said, "Mommy, may I have some bread and that cardiologist-endorsed spread?"

I'm blaming Atticus.

A Meaningful Lent, Part 3: Fasting and the Holy Father

Message of His Holiness Benedict XVI for Lent, 2009:

(Found in its entirety here.)



Excerpts:

For this year’s Lenten Message, I wish to focus my reflections especially on the value and meaning of fasting.

...We might wonder what value and meaning there is for us Christians in depriving ourselves of something that in itself is good and useful for our bodily sustenance. The Sacred Scriptures and the entire Christian tradition teach that fasting is a great help to avoid sin and all that leads to it. For this reason, the history of salvation is replete with occasions that invite fasting.

...In the New Testament, Jesus brings to light the profound motive for fasting, condemning the attitude of the Pharisees, who scrupulously observed the prescriptions of the law, but whose hearts were far from God. True fasting, as the divine Master repeats elsewhere, is rather to do the will of the Heavenly Father, who “sees in secret, and will reward you” (Mt 6,18). He Himself sets the example, answering Satan, at the end of the forty days spent in the desert that “man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God” (Mt 4,4). The true fast is thus directed to eating the “true food,” which is to do the Father’s will (cf. Jn 4,34).

...In our own day, fasting seems to have lost something of its spiritual meaning, and has taken on, in a culture characterized by the search for material well-being, a therapeutic value for the care of one’s body. Fasting certainly bring benefits to physical well-being, but for believers, it is, in the first place, a “therapy” to heal all that prevents them from conformity to the will of God.

...The faithful practice of fasting contributes, moreover, to conferring unity to the whole person, body and soul, helping to avoid sin and grow in intimacy with the Lord.

...At the same time, fasting is an aid to open our eyes to the situation in which so many of our brothers and sisters live. In his First Letter, Saint John admonishes: “If anyone has the world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, yet shuts up his bowels of compassion from him – how does the love of God abide in him?” (3,17).

...Dear brothers and sisters, it is good to see how the ultimate goal of fasting is to help each one of us, as the Servant of God Pope John Paul II wrote, to make the complete gift of self to God (cf. Encyclical Veritatis splendor, 21).

**********

As Lent approaches and we consider giving up the foods and other things we enjoy, we sometimes feel overwhelmed.

It's helpful to me (a rich American, despite my protests about the cost of the latest van repair) to consider that the things overwhelming me could be foundational:

-- In 2008, the number of undernourished people in the world rose to 963 million

-- Hunger and malnutrition are the No. 1 risk to health worldwide, greater than AIDS, malaria and tuberculosis combined.

-- The total food surplus of the United States alone could satisfy every empty stomach in Africa; France's leftovers could feed the hungry in Democratic Republic of Congo and Italy's could feed Ethiopia's undernourished.

-- Today 25,000 people will die from hunger. A child dies every six seconds of malnutrition or starvation.

More information from:

Catholic Relief Services
CRS and Operation Rice Bowl
Kids Against Hunger
The Hunger Site
Fasting Against Global Hunger
Pope Benedict XVI on hunger, here and here.

And the king will say to them in reply, 'Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for Me.'

-- Matthew 25:40

A reminder from Mom:

If you are a pregnant or nursing mother, or are ill, Mom (Holy Mother Church) doesn't want you to fast from nutritious meals. There are myriad ways to fast.

Take care of your physical health, and offer the things from which you must fast (sleep, time, favorite foods that affect breast milk, sanity) as your prayer and your offering. Mom knows your situation, and she not only understands, she insists that you take care of yourself so that you may take care of the gift you've been given.

Bits and Pieces of Our Days

Have I really not posted since Wednesday?

Hmmm.

Here's my catch-up post.

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We spent some time with this guy and this guy as they rolled cross-country on their way to Key Largo. (Now, they -- science-y family that they are -- would have taken the eyeball home.)

Then I looked at my thermometer this morning (14 degrees) and wept.

**********

Ramona was looking over my shoulder as I frowned at my Twitter page.

"Tweeting, huh?" she asked. "I call it Twup-dating."

I love her word for it, but, no, I wasn't Twup-dating. I was lamenting that I cannot seem to make Twitter work for me. I see interesting little tweets -- a question, or an answer -- and then when I try to follow the trail, I get completely lost.

And what the twup is the Tweet Deck and how do I use it?

**********

The Bookworm has a fun post here about Pancake Day (Shrove Tuesday ... Fat Tuesday ... The Day All the Good Stuff in Your Life Goes Away ....) and another great one here with book and activity ideas.

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Thanks to Faith, I now know that Pride and Prejudice lives in Facebook format at the amusing little Austenbook.

(I foresee this kind of summary becoming the SparkNotes of the 21st century.)

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I'm glad she didn't bring the eyeball home

Or, a short update on our homeschooling:

This week, Anne-with-an-e spent some time shadowing our veterinarian. She watched a dental procedure (translation: teeth had to be yanked out, lots of blood), dogs and cats being spayed and neutered, and a declawing.

She didn't faint or get queasy. (I'm beaming.)

When offered the opportunity to take a closer look at (translation: dissect) an eye that had been removed from a cat, she declined. It was, after all, her first day.

Best not to push those queasiness limits.

This still stuns me. I thought I was raising a writer. She says "writer" is still on the table, but this vet stuff is pretty compelling business.

*****

On the writing front, I hope to get time soon to tell you more about Anne's "Harry Potter Fan Fiction Challenge" -- she issued it to the whole family, assigned two basic plot ideas from which we could choose, and gave us a deadline. The deadline was Christmas Eve, so clearly, I'm a little behind in my reporting on this ....

*****

Speaking of writing challenges, Ramona took a cue from Anne and issued a poetry challenge. This came right after we had a warmish day, and she was inspired to write a springtime poem she entitled "Hamilton Beach." (Yes, I believe a small appliance was in sight.) She made invitations for the whole family, urged us to accept her poetry challenge, and promptly forgot about it.

*****

The other day, Ramona said to me, "Mommy, tell me if you think this is an in-drawing book."

I said, in that oh-so-intelligent way I have, "Huh?"

"Listen," she said patiently, and proceeded to read the first sentence of a book to me. "Doesn't that sentence draw you in?" she asked. "Don't you want to know what happens next? This is an in-drawing book."

*****

Betsy is still at work on her novel, which features characters with names like Arrow, Pure, and Faith, but recently she has spent more time on a short story that is now up to, I believe, 12,000 words. This frightens me. I never wrote more than 1,016 words at a time when I was her age.

*****

Betsy has also been spending some time teaching herself new songs on the piano. (I generously call it a piano ... it's actually a keyboard, but it works for learning basics, and for me to pretend I can play "Amazing Grace.") She's teaching Ramona what she's learning, too. I love this kind of self-directed stuff.

Ramona in the garage

Ramona: Mommy, while you're adjusting my booster seat, I'll just entertain myself with this bubble wrap.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(What? No bubble wrap in your garage?

Try the virtual kind.

Because, y'know, we all have a lot of extra time for this kind of stuff.)

A Meaningful Lent, Part 2: Why Give Up Anything at All?

The short answer is, "Because Mom said so."

Mom -- Mother Church -- knows what's best for us. And when we follow her advice, we find that, even if we didn't initially understand the reason, our actions bear good fruit.

But, we always want the long answer, don't we?

First, occasionally people say, "You don't have to give anything up -- just take on something positive." I have a couple of thoughts about this perspective. While I understand the good intention behind the "positive spin" (that instead of giving up candy or some other trifle which can seem meaningless one is trying to do something of more"importance") I think it overlooks the good that is inherent in fasting.

I also want to point out that in "taking something on" we are making a sacrifice. If we sacrifice leisure time in order to do something else -- read more Scripture, pray at an abortion clinic, volunteer at a food pantry, or do something else that is a good -- then that is certainly a sacrifice offered in the spirit of Lent. Scripture reading, prayer, talking with a frightened woman who is tempted to abort her child, helping to feed the hungry -- these are corporal and spiritual works of mercy that yield real results, both seen and unseen.

Additionally, on the subject of results we can see, here's a small, but concrete benefit of a fast: if we save the money we would have spent on the trifles (how much is a bag of M&Ms? What's the beer budget? The cost of meat for forty days?) and donate it, we see the results of our sacrifice. Our children see it. The trifles suddenly don't seem to be such a trifle when we realize how much we normally spend on them.

But, second, why do we feel the need to put a "positive" spin on something that is already positive? For a Christian, isn't sacrifice always a positive? If what Jesus did for us isn't the ultimate positive example, then I've got the wrong religion.

Sometimes, we're looking for loopholes and an easier road. But, there's no easy road to avoiding sin. It's an uphill battle for us, this fallen lot. So, let's listen to Mom and give Lent the spin it deserves.

We now return to our regularly scheduled post.

I never say anything better than the Catechism of the Catholic Church does, so I'll direct you to a couple of passages that discuss sacrifice, mortification and spiritual progress.

Paragraph 2015:

The way of perfection passes by way of the Cross. There is no holiness without renunciation and spiritual battle.

Paragraph 2549:

It remains for the holy people to struggle, with grace from on high, to obtain the good things God promises. In order to possess and contemplate God, Christ's faithful mortify their cravings and, with the grace of God, prevail over the seductions of pleasure and power.

And, from Scripture:

"Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." -- Matthew 6:21

During Lent, we are called to "pray, fast and give." (See this document for more info.) In taking on additional prayer time, or attending daily Mass more often, or praying the Stations of the Cross, or other devotions such as the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, in fasting from festive food and drink, or from various entertainments or areas of excess, and in freely giving of our time and money, we see that it's not a matter of "either/or." We don't ask, "Should I pray more? Or should I fast from something? Or should I give of my time? Give away a few more dollars?"

To pray, to fast and to give are all intimately connected. Progress and growth in one area fuels further progress in the others.

Pray.
Fast.
Give.

This trinity is the foundation of a meaningful Lent. When I start there, good things happen.

A Meaningful Lent, Part 1: What to Give Up for Lent

The other day, Ramona told Betsy that instead of giving up sassiness, she was going to give up something meaningful.

But what does "meaningful" mean, and how do we enter into into Lent in a way that will really make it meaningful?

I start by pondering, "What to Give Up?"

We sometimes hear the debate: Should we give up something "good" or something "bad"?

But, I see no reason to debate. All we have to figure out is the answer to this question: "What will help me grow closer to God?"

On the "good" side of the debate are those who say we must give up "a good" or it's not a sacrifice (a sacrifice being the giving up of an objective good for a greater good.)

On the "bad" side, are those who say that giving up "something bad" (a bad habit, such as complaining, smoking, caffeine) is just as difficult as giving up something good, and therefore, is a great spiritual exercise.

I hereby declare a draw. Both sides are right.

The key is in our perception: if it's a struggle to give it up, we're inordinately attached to it.

When we give up an addiction, we say to God, "You are more important to me than this thing. I'm giving it up for You."

It's the act of love that counts, but our acts of love often lead to real and positive change. When we offer an addiction for God, we find Him working on our hearts, ridding us of painful, controlling attachments.

In that sense, it's certainly an acceptable Lenten sacrifice to give up "something bad."

On the flip side, when we give up something that is objectively good, we get the joy of that thing's return on Easter Sunday. And this is a beautiful thing to experience. We see, in a small but concrete way, that sacrifice leads to Resurrection. ("Break out the chocolate bunnies! He is Risen!")

There's still a bit of room for debate: is chocolate an objective good or an unhealthy addiction? (Umm, okay ... so that's not up for debate. God invented the objective good of chocolate right after Adam, Eve and the amazing way we love our children. They don't call it the food of the gods for nothing.) What about moderate alcohol use? Blogging? Meat every day? Dessert every night? TV? Movies? Music?

There's often some overlap. I have to ask myself, "Am I addicted to what would, in moderation, be an objective good?" Perhaps, when Easter arrives, I'll find that God has helped me to let go of the attachment, and enjoy the thing as it's intended to be enjoyed.

That overlap is the reason it can be helpful to choose several things to give up -- something in the "bad" category ("God, help me get rid of this vice forever!") and something in the "good" category ("Grill a steak! Pass the wine! Celebrate the Feast!")

It's all so personal. What's easily managed for one person might be a torturous attachment for another.

That's why we really shouldn't debate about the "right things" to give up for Lent.

If giving it up will help you grow closer to God, then it's the right thing.

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Next: Why Give Something Up at All?

CPSIA

I'm sending you on to those who are doing a better job than I am of keeping up with the Consumer Products Safety Improvement Act and the impact it has on used books:

Bonny Glen has rounded up links

So has Alicia at Studeo

Cupcake Forsaken

We are cupcakeless.

Sans Cupcakes.

There is not a cupcake in sight.

We are a cupcake wasteland.

This has not prevented Ramona from asking me for cupcakes at least six times this morning.

Cupcakian hope springs eternal.

A promise has now been made, and now, it must be fulfilled either this afternoon or tomorrow.

Soon, there will be a cupcake oasis in the barren desert that, apparently, is my kitchen.

Poetry Friday: When You Are Old

Yeats today.

When You Are Old is a sad and lovely poem, and I particularly love the lines:


But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

Read the whole thing here at The Poetry Foundation.

The round-up today is at the home of its foundress, Kelly. Visit Big A little a for plenteous poetry.

He makes us laugh

Yesterday's Dave Barry quote:

Sometimes people ask me: "Dave, what is the essence of parenthood?"

I always answer: "Lowering your standards."

Works for me.

Read Danielle Bean's latest column, too, about standards and Sponge Bob. Such great, such real stuff.

Catholic Offspring Pondering Lent

Anne-with-an-e: Hey, Betsy, what're you giving up for Lent?

Betsy: I dunno. I haven't decided.

Anne: You could give up hiding in dark corners and jumping out at me.

~~~~~~~~~~

Betsy: Hey, Ramona, what are you giving up for Lent?

Ramona: I don't know yet.

Betsy: Why don't you give up sassing Anne and me?

Ramona: Betsy! No! I'm going to give up something meaningful!

~~~~~~~~~~

Okay ... Lent is two weeks away, people.

We're gonna have to get serious around here.

Tonight at the dinner table, I said, "Hmmm ... if I'm going to write a series for Lent, I'd better get started on it soon."

Anne replied, "Will it be a No-Panic Lent? Hmmm? Or will it be a Panic-Filled Lent?"

But, I couldn't give her an immediate answer.

It probably depends on what I give up.

Why I Love Our Vet

Because she has encouraged Anne for almost four years now.

Because, a couple of years ago, she told Anne that when she was fifteen, she could start to do some shadowing.

Because now that Anne is fifteen, she is going to start some shadowing. (Watching surgery is not my idea of a good time, but apparently it's Anne's, because she couldn't be happier.)

Because I love a vet that I can laugh and cry with, and who hugs me before I leave. (I won't tell you everything we talked about, but I can tell you that the next customer in the clinic might have been wondering why it took half an hour for my cat to get two shots.)

That is why I love our vet.

The Litany of Humility

A prayer that Atticus found several years ago, and that we try to pray together regularly:


Litany of Humility:

O Jesus, meek and humble of heart,
Hear me.

From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being loved,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being extolled,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being honored,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being praised,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being preferred to others,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being consulted,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being approved,
Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the fear of being humiliated,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being despised,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of suffering rebukes,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being calumniated,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being forgotten,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being ridiculed,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being wronged,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being suspected,
Deliver me, O Jesus.

That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be chosen and I set aside,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be praised and I go unnoticed,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be preferred to me in everything,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may become holier than I,
provided that I may become as holy as I should,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

Sometimes you just need a little Flannery

to get right to the point.

from a letter Flannery O'Connor wrote to a friend:

The Church’s stand on birth control is the most absolutely spiritual of all her stands and with all of us being materialists at heart, there is little wonder that it causes unease. I wish various fathers would quit trying to defend it by saying that the world can support forty billion. I will rejoice in the day when they say: This is right, whether we all rot on top of each other or not, dear children, as we certainly may. Either practice restraint or be prepared for crowding.

Bits and Pieces of Our Days

Ramona's Mindless love:

"Mommy, I'm going to throw myself into your arms for no good reason!"


Ramona in the tub:

Me: Have you washed your hair yet?

Ramona: No. Nor do I want to.

Our cat:

He's far more trouble than he's worth, but we love him. Well, four of us love him. Atticus is indifferent. Currently, Mr. Putter has a sore that needs attention, and he'll be going to the vet tomorrow. We think this nasty sore is due to his allergies. I finally found a food that is not the exorbitantly priced vet-recommended allergy diet but has prevented him from breaking out, and now I can no longer find this food in my town. Sigh. Remind me again of the benefits of pets.

Bluzziness:

I am less bluzzy tonight, but I could still use a good twelve hours of sleep. I don't think I'll get it but I can dream. I have actually dreamt of sleep. Sleep is the stuff my dreams are made of. Make of that what you will.

Uh, Duh, Mommy ....

Ramona was running through the dining room.

I heard CRASH/THUMP/GROAN and called out, "Oh! What did you hit?"

"The floor," she replied.

Feeling Bluzzy Today

Sickish.
Punk.
Under the weather.
Sluggish.
Dragging.
Thick-headed.
Blurry and Fuzzy.
Bluzzy.

Back later.

Rabbit Angstrom and Cosmo Castorini

The other day, I was working out and watching Charlie Rose (at 5:30 a.m. one can watch either Charlie Rose or "How to Get Rich Buying Real Estate for Seventeen Cents and Reselling It for Millions." I chose Charlie Rose.)

Charlie was showing some of his many interviews with the recently deceased John Updike from years past. In more than one interview, Updike owned up to the fact that the specter of death had haunted him since he was young. It was constantly hanging over him, he said in one of the interviews.

And then, I thought about the way that Updike constantly, obsessively wrote about adultery, and about men chasing women as if their lives depended on it. (When I read an Updike book, I often pictured myself taking his wife out to lunch, patting her hand sympathetically and saying, "I'm so sorry, dear ....") And suddenly, out of the blue, I could hear Olympia Dukakis asking John Mahoney, in Moonstruck, "Why do men chase women?" and I heard her answering her own question with, "I think it's because they fear death."

And, I thought, "All Rabbit Angstrom really had to do was ask an Italian housewife about the central dilemma of his life and she could have fixed everything for him."

And I'll bet a terrific dinner would have followed.

Barbies with Ramona

I actually wasn't going to give my daughters Barbie dolls.

I wasn't. I was going to be firm on this.

But then, when Anne-with-an-e was three, she got one as a gift.

It was all over.

So, yes, I have allowed Barbie. Barbie with disclaimers (as mentioned in this post.) As Anne says, "Mom, if Barbie were a real woman, she would be a freak of nature."

As long as they keep this in mind, I'm okay with them playing with freaks of nature.

We have Veterinarian Barbie, and Renaissance Barbie, and Glinda-the-Good-Witch Barbie and Barbie with a dog that poops (I cannot believe I allowed that one, but someone caught me in a weak moment and I fancied I was teaching a lesson in personal finance when I said something like, "Well, it's your money and if you really think you want to spend it on Barbie ...." when I should have said, "There is no way on God's green earth that you're buying that thing.")

And yes, there are more Barbies here, but I won't give you the entire list. If I do, I'll start adding up all the money that was spent on them and I'll lament that I didn't do a better job myself on my own lessons in personal finance.

Today, playtime was Ramona's pick. She picked Barbies.

She said of hers:

"This one, Beverly, used to be Princess of the Air. And she was snooty. But, then she got married and had babies and now she isn't snooty any more."

Well.

It's nice to know that motherhood has had a humanizing effect on Beverly-Barbie. I like that in a freak of nature.

Attention to souls

There are a few blogs I read that are written by priests. One might think that because our vocations are so different there isn't much we can learn from one another. But one would be mistaken. One priest's blog that I read regularly often speaks to me in my vocation as a mother.

Father writes:

"Spiritual attention to souls." This is a wonderful line, absolutely wonderful. In the Gospel today, St. Mark speaks of the pity of Christ, that he looked upon the people because they were like shepherdless sheep. Do our parishioners feel the same way?

I apply this to my motherhood. Am I paying spiritual attention to the souls entrusted to my care? Do I ever leave my children shepherdless sheep? Have I left them in any way? What am I neglecting? How can I better shepherd them?

Is our Mass simply functionary? Is our seat in the confessional always empty? Do we try to shed our duties yet demand respect for our position?

When, as a mother, have I demanded respect for my position even while putting my own desires first? Is the "seat in the confessional" of my vocation -- my open, listening ear, my heart, my willingness to be fully present to my children -- empty?

Or, as St. Josemaria writes, is the altar the "centre and root" of our lives? We all feel the tension here. We all have days when the confessional is hot or the music at Mass is terrible or when we would like to do something for ourselves but the phone just keeps ringing.

Christ is the centre and root of my life, and it is through my vocation -- through marriage and motherhood -- that I serve Him. When there is tension, how do I approach it? Resolve it? When the tedious chores seem neverending and the bickering is building to a crescendo and when I would love to duck out of my duties for just a little while, or (oh, wouldn't it be heavenly?) go on a retreat -- or, who am I kidding, just have a day off, for goodness's sakes -- what do I do? How do I handle it? Who and What is at my center? Do my children feel the tension when it arises?

Even with the tension, how well do we do with this mission of having the "spiritual attention to souls?"

How well indeed?

What a beautiful examination of conscience this priest has provided. He may think he is writing for priests, but he is writing to each and every one of us who wish to serve God. And, oh, how much we all have to learn from one another in our seemingly disparate vocations.

Poetry Friday

For my best friend, Atticus:




i carry your heart with me

by e.e. cummings

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate,my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
....

(read the rest here, at the Poetry Foundation.)

The roundup for Poetry Friday is at Wild Rose Reader this week.

With your morning coffee ...

If you happen to be up early enough tomorrow (Friday, the 6th) I'll be on Gus Lloyd's radio show, Seize the Day (at 6:30 central time) on The Catholic Channel (Sirius Satellite Radio), talking about my conversion.

So, pass that coffeepot. If I'm incoherent, I apologize in advance ... remember, I'm a night owl.

Helping Spread the Word

Many of us have been touched by the work of Michael Dubruiel and Amy Welborn, and were shocked and saddened to hear of the sudden loss of Mr. Dubruiel.

If you would like to do something concrete to help the family at this time, visit Danielle Bean here, to donate to a Paypal fund.

Visit Maureen Wittmann here for some more information on how to help.

And, I hope you'll take the time to read Michael Dubruiel's last column, found here at Charlotte was Both. It is profoundly moving.


Michael Dubruiel, Rest in peace.

She's a Media Kid

"Don't put that away," Betsy said of the cereal. "I might have sequels."

"Mom, I know why you named him Atticus."

So said Anne-with-an-e the other day.

She is reading To Kill a Mockingbird, which is a wonderful and terrible thing. Wonderful for obvious reasons. Terrible because, after the first reading, one can never experience To Kill a Mockingbird for the first time again.

But, now she knows why I named her father "Atticus" on the blog.

"It's because of the kind of father he is, isn't it? He reminds me of Dad."

Cue the melting heart.

Win a Free Book!

Maureen Wittmann is giving away a free copy of For the Love of Literature at her webinar tonight. See details on her blog here, and find details on the webinar here.

But, hurry! The session and the book giveaway happen tonight!

A Groundhog Day Shrinklit

I'm a day late, but I'm rerunning my Groundhog Day
Shrinklit (rerunning is quite appropriate for the movie, though, eh?)

Remember ShrinkLits? They were funny, succinct little retellings of classic works.

I wrote this one a couple of years ago, in honor of a movie that is its own kind of classic.



Karen's Groundhog Day Shrinklit

Phil: at first, a selfish jerk
Focused on his fun and work
Women were a toy or game
Till every day became the same.

Quite suddenly, no rules apply
Steal some money, tell a lie
Nihilism's worth a spin
until despair comes crashing in

Suicide just didn't take
Surely something is at stake
Could it be that it is worth
Striving for a true rebirth?

Self improvement: worth a try?
Though all past ways it does defy?
Selflessness for its own sake?
Letting go of all that's fake?

Helping, saving, giving, tears
Authentic feelings, first in years
Letting go of all that's old
Lets in truth, releases cold

Something genuine and kind
Allows this man his best to find
Is this conversion? God at work?
Or one colossal cosmic quirk?

Teacher to Teacher

from St. John Bosco, with thanks to Sabine.

Like Sabine, I find that although these words were written to fellow educators, they apply to a homeschooling mom:

"It seems to me that the words of the Holy Gospel which speak to us of the Divine Saviour come down from heaven to earth to gather together all the children of God scattered all over the world, could be applied literally to the young people of our times. They constitute the most vulnerable yet valuable section of human society. We base our hopes for the future on them, and they are not of their nature depraved. Were it not for struggling parents, idleness, mixing in bad company, it would be so easy to inculcate in their young hearts the principles of order, of good behaviour, of respect, of religion, because if they are ruined at that age, it is due more to carelessness than to ingrained malice. These young people truly have need of some kind person who will take care of them, work with them, guide them in virtue, keep them away from harm. .....

Sometimes it might seem to us that a young person was taking no notice of our advice, whilst deep inside they were well-disposed to cooperate, and meanwhile we were ruining him by our harshness which they cannot understand. ....

Everything at its proper time, says the Holy Spirit. When there is the need to punish, great prudence is required to choose the right moment. Nothing is more dangerous than a cure applied incorrectly, or at the wrong moment. We can get to know the right moment only from experience which has been fine-tuned by the goodness of our hearts. First of all then, wait until you are in control of yourselves; do not let it be understood that you are acting because of a bad mood, or in anger. .....

Young people often need convincing that we have confidence in their ability to improve, and feel there is a kindly hand to help them. You can get more with a friendly look, with a word of encouragement that gives his heart new courage, than you can with repeated blame, which serves only to upset, and weaken enthusiasm. Using this system, I have seen real conversions among those one would otherwise have believed impossible. All youngsters have their off-days - you have had them yourselves! ....

Remember that education is a matter of the heart, of which God is the sole master, and we will be unable to achieve anything unless God teaches us, and puts the key in our hands. Let us strive to make ourselves loved, and we will see the doors of many hearts open with great ease, and join with us in singing praises and blessing of Him who wished to make himself our model, our way, our example in everything, but especially in the education of the young."

John Bosco - 1883