These beads were made for walkin'

Michelle Arnold over at Jimmy Akin.org has a post about praying the Rosary while walking.

I used to have a great habit of doing this. I awoke at 6 a.m., before the children (I only had two at the time, mind you, and they were sleeping until at least 7:00 in those days) and headed outside -- sometimes solo, sometimes with a tape player and headphones. Some days, I wanted nothing more than my own voice in my head and my own pace of prayer. Other days, I wanted the simple, straightforward presentation that is the Catholicity version of the Rosary. At times, I wanted the lovely, lilting voices of Dana and Fr. Kevin Scallon, with his short but moving reflections on each mystery. Some mornings I craved the voice and musical accompaniment of Jim Cowan. Whichever pace and version of the Rosary I chose, it was fruitful and fulfilling prayer time. So, what happened?

In short, Ramona happened. I have never been good at mixing a newborn with regular exercise. The two simply don't fit, at least not in my world. My children do not sleep particularly well, predictably, or for any length of time. I can have the best, most committed intentions vis-a-vis exercise, and they will always be thwarted by a child who needs me more than I need my walk.

I'm not saying that I should neglect exercise. I'm merely saying that I do neglect exercise because I'm not clever enough to do anything else.

Walk with your baby in a carrier, they say. Mmhmm. By the time I tried a walking routine with Ramona in tow, she was big enough (a few months old) for the back carrier. Having my hair pulled throughout the walk didn't work for me. She also despised her stroller for a very long time. Taking her with me on the walks wasn't working very well.

It was hard to slip out of the house, because there was no telling what time Ramona would wake -- would it be 4 a.m., or 7? 5:30 or 6:15? And if she awoke and I was not there, I pitied my poor husband. As willing as he was to help me work exercise into my day, Ramona has definitely been her mommy's girl. And my mommy's girl has had no routine, other than to switch her telepathic powers into gear the moment I slip into tennis shoes.

So, while I lost my morning walking routine, I gained something else. Atticus and I managed to begin a morning routine of prayer together. It was something we could do whether Ramona was in my arms or not. We both love the Liturgy of the Hours, and early morning, before he leaves for work is the perfect time to fit that in. Throw in some personal petitions, and we have a calm and comforting start to our day, whether Ramona has awakened at 5:00 or is blissfully sleeping in.

These days, Ramona is beginning to sleep a wee bit more reliably and so I could conceivably try to rev up the morning walking routine again. But, now I'm loathe to trade in our couple-prayer time for my solo Rosary. Which just goes to show that life -- our spiritual life as well as the rest of it -- is a constantly growing, changing thing. Routines are good and helpful, but they are often illusions and vapors, subject to change and disappearance at any given time, depending on what else God has in store for us. They let us think we're in control for awhile but God usually readjusts that thinking for us.

And so, I consider the trade-off: a loss of solo walks and predictable prayer time for the sweet, unexpected miracle that is Ramona, and a new routine of prayer with my husband. Ramona has, as my previous children (those born, and those who went straight into the arms of God) did, changed my prayer life in ways I couldn't foresee. I never expect my prayer life to be predictable anymore. A living, organic thing, which is what a prayer life is, must grow, change, adapt and forge new paths while drawing on the Source of its life at all times. As long as I remain focused on God (and on the means He sends for my sanctification) I can trust that all the changes and growth -- frustrating though they may be to my stubborn heart) are for my good.

Perhaps now it's time to keep the morning prayer routine with Atticus and to add a Rosary walk with Ramona, Betsy and Anne. Now, that could work.