Cradle Catholics and Converts

Created Equal?

It’s been nearly ten years since I stood in St. Mary’s Church and said it:

“I believe and profess all that the holy Catholic Church believes, teaches, and proclaims to be revealed by God."

Those words, spoken by Christians who wish to be received into the Catholic Church, were the culmination of a long and arduous journey that had included periods of atheism and agnosticism. But I'd finally arrived at belief, Christian baptism and ultimately, surrender to the Catholic Church. In my short decade as a Catholic, I’ve experienced profound joy, dark nights, unexpected healings and ineffable surprises from God that bordered on the miraculous. I’ve seen such fundamental changes in myself that I no longer recognize the woman I was before that great Easter Vigil. I’ve witnessed my husband (for whom I once harbored no hope of conversion) come into the Church. It’s all part of the glorious journey that we call “conversion.”

I’ve been taught and inspired by many faithful people over the years, cradle Catholics and converts alike. It never occurred to me to ask whether cradle Catholics or converts were the more “worthy” bunch, but I recently became aware that tension sometimes exists between the two “camps.” Why? And why are there “camps” at all in our one, holy, Catholic and apostolic Church? I can speak only from a convert’s perspective, so I’ll start there.

We Catholic converts are an odd lot. We tend to be in one of two places. Either we’re on the mountain top, thinking that we know it all, love it all and can handle it all, or we’re in the depths of self doubt, wondering how we will ever know it all, love it all or handle anything.

When we’re on that mountain top, we want to take on the world. God has equipped us, we’ve been called, and we’re ready to go forth and conquer. That’s not a bad thing. God does equip and call us, and there are many dragons to be slain. It’s not sinful pride that motivates – it’s a zeal for souls, implanted by the Lord. As long as we deflect any praise and glory to Him, we can rest assured we’re using our gifts correctly. He’s placed us on the mountain top for a reason that has nothing to do with us. We’re there for the sake of His Kingdom.

But when we’re in the opposite place, that shadowy cave of self doubt, we might wonder why God chose us. Why am I Catholic, and not this friend, or that relative? We doubt that our gifts and talents can make a difference to anyone. We wonder if we’ll ever understand all Catholic doctrines well enough to share them with others. Will we ever really be able to explain a plenary indulgence? Can we understand the Inquisition thoroughly enough to discuss it with our friends? Will we bungle it all just when God is counting on us?

While trudging through such a spiritual valley, we might envy our cradle Catholic brothers and sisters in Christ. They were born into the riches of this faith that we adopted. Since birth, they’ve possessed the gifts we had to hunt down, question and claim as our own. It doesn’t seem “fair.” They’ve always known, understood, and treasured what they have. Haven’t they?

The reality is that many cradle Catholics have wrestled with their faith just as converts have. Certainly some have always held fast to their beliefs (and they’ve been given a great gift.) But others have questioned, retreated, studied and returned to embrace the faith in ways that mirror a convert’s journey. They’ve had “reversions” that are every bit as dramatic as the conversions of those once atheist and far away.

And what of those who have never fallen away from the Church? Their lives of steadfast devotion are a beautiful example to us all. But at times, they may also be tempted to say it isn’t "fair." They labor to serve God all their lives, while others breeze late into the Church, and receive the same rewards.

One night, as I sat in a darkened room rocking my youngest daughter, I was struck by this reality: she is the first child born to my husband and me since we both became Catholic. Our “domestic church” is now a microcosm of the universal Church: we are convert and cradle Catholic together in this home. We are tiny and grown, novice and expert, on the mountain top and in the valley (sometimes all in one day). I, the convert, will have much to teach my little girl. She, the cradle Catholic, will impart riches to me as well. We’re both being equipped, bit by bit, day by day.

And so goes the universal Church. We’re in this together. Does it matter if we were born into the Catholic faith, or if we found it late in life? Not really. We must remember that just as the workers who came late to the vineyard were paid the same wage as those who had labored all day (Matthew 20: 1-16), so the convert is as “worthy” as the cradle Catholic. Conversely, a convert must never assume that a cradle Catholic’s faith is not every bit as hard won as those who struggled to find their way home. Every Catholic has a story and God has a reason for every plot twist. How we arrived at our faith is for Him to determine and for us to praise, not judge. After all, it’s all grace. We’re all unworthy.

Whether cradle Catholic or convert, we’re in this for the long haul. And we’re in it together. So hang on tight, and hold on to each other -- it’s the most exciting ride I know. This glorious, equalizing journey that we call “conversion” is for everyone.

(This essay first appeared in the July 31, 2005 issue of Our Sunday Visitor, and later appeared on Catholic Exchange.)