On Growing Up and Girlfriends

I recently took Anne and Betsy to a concert. The Christian singer we went to see is known for making girls weep, and Anne was not immune to his charms. She knew she'd cry during one or two of his songs, but she wasn't sure she wanted to do that in public. She discussed a couple of options with me beforehand:

*a strategically timed bathroom break?
*Her mother's comforting arm around her?
*A hefty supply of tissues, and the hope that, in the dark, no one would notice?

Options still up in the air, we found ourselves seated in the auditorium. The song began. Anne began to cry. And -- breakdown in strategic planning -- I was not sitting next to her, though I had already passed the tissues.

The friend to Anne's right, J., put her arm around Anne. S., the friend on Anne's left, sweetly patted her knee and offered a look of compassion (hey, I'm a mom ... I see everything, even in the dark. It's a maternal superpower.)

My friend, sitting to my left, whispered, "Do you want S. to trade places with you so you can be next to Anne?"

I considered it for a moment, absorbing the scene. All sensible rationalization about it being only a song aside, Mommy Mode had kicked in. My daughter was in distress. She needed comfort and help. I wanted to be the one to do it.

But, it was already being done.

I turned back to my friend and, breath catching in my throat, whispered, "No ... she's okay. She has her girlfriends."

And then, it's quite possible that a mother in the audience shed a few tears of her own that night, knowing that there had been a foundational shift in her universe.

And feeling, at the same time, that she was doing her job.

Quotes for writers

The latest offering from Debra Murphy, who maintains the Yahoo group, Quotes for Catholic Writers:

"Claudel, Maritain, Bernanos, and Mauriac did not regard themselves as Catholics writing only for a Catholic public. They felt that their mission was worldwide, and that their orientation was universal. Indeed, they believed that only Catholic writers, in portraying 'souls' instead of 'characters,' could either fully understand the ills of the times or completely fulfill the possibilities of the novel. Maritain drew his distinction between the 'individual,' who is a citizen and member of society, and the 'person,' who is rooted in eternity. In his view, 'individuals' who forget or do not know that they are 'persons' corrupt the world in which they live."

~~ Gene Kellogg, The Vital Tradition: The Catholic Novel in a Period of Convergence. (Chicago: Loyola University Press, 1970)

Poetry Friday

Spring
Nothing is so beautiful as Spring --
When weeds in wheels, shoot long and lovely and lush;
Thrush's eggs look little low heavens, and thrush
Through the echoing timber does so rinse and wring
The ear, it strikes like lightnings to hear him sing;
The glassy peartree leaves and blooms, they brush
The descending blue; that blue is all in a rush
With richness; the racing lambs too have fair their fling.

What is all this juice and all this joy?
A strain of the earth's sweet being in the beginning
In Eden garden. -- Have, get, before it cloy,
Before it cloud, Christ, lord and sour with sinning,
Innocent mind and Mayday in girl and boy,
Most, O maid's child, thy choice and worthy the winning.

~~ Gerard Manley Hopkins

Alice and the Beauty of the Unicorn

It seems I keep linking to Alice lately, but how could I not, with posts such as The Last Unicorn to inspire, exhort and uplift.

Tweaking into life at the Lilting House

Lissa, over at The Lilting House, has a great post about "tidal homeschooling," a phrase she coined. It so perfectly sums up the way in which I "run" our homeschool, too ... that is, paying attention (or trying to, as best I can) to what's really happening with all of us, and adjusting accordingly.

Or, as Lissa entitled the post, "Tweak, Tweak."

And, not that Melissa Wiley would ever hint about such a thing, but have you hopped over to the Homeschool Blog Awards and nominated her? (That would be a Hint, with a capital H, I believe. I am the type to hint, given a good cause to hint about.)

G-r-e-a-t. Great.

M-o-v-i-e. Movie.

Akeelah and the Bee was this weekend's fun family movie (with Ramona's ears covered for a few words.)

If you want your kids to walk around saying, "Prestidigitation: p-r-e-s-t-i-d-i-g-i-t-a-t-i-o-n ... Prestidigitation" just pop in this movie and watch the pulchritude. If you didn't think a spelling bee could be exciting, think again. Keke Palmer is adorable and Laurence Fishburne is admirably subdued and complex. Somewhat predictable in its inspirational message, but tear-inducing in this mom, nevertheless. Great for various discussion topics with my older kids, including goals and perseverance, the right and wrong reasons for doing things, race and class tensions, good parents living tough lives. (See the ScreenIt review for a complete rundown of things to watch for in this PG-rated movie.)

Enjoy it. S-o-o-n. Soon.

Friends of the Georgia Martyrs

Paul Thigpen, coordinator of the group, "Friends of the Georgia Martyrs" writes:

I was privileged to be present for the Closing Session of the Diocesan Inquiry for the Cause of Martyrdom and Beatification of the Georgia Martyrs. This brings to a conclusion the first phase of the canonization process. The official documents will now be taken to Rome by Fr. Conrad Harkins, OFM, so the next stage of the process can begin.

Details about this and other exciting developments in the Cause will appear in the next issue of The Palmetto, the newsletter of the Friends, which will be appearing in the next few weeks. Look for it!

Meanwhile, your prayers are being answered; the Cause is moving forward. Keep praying, and tell others about the Martyrs!

For more information about the Georgia Martyrs, see this link and this link.

Solemnity of the Annunciation of the Lord

Another Solemnity to celebrate!

A Solemnity is a feast on a par with a Sunday and when said Solemnity falls on a Sunday, observance of it is moved to the next day, for a couple of reasons: first, Sunday always trumps all other feasts. Secondly, this is too important a feast to be completely trumped.

So, here we are, observing the Annunciation on the 26th, rather than on the usual day of March 25th. As in the case of the Solemnity of St. Joseph last Monday, we interrupt this Lent to bring you glad tidings of great joy.

I love this sane and balanced attitude of Mother Church. Although we are exhorted to sacrifice during Lent, "Mom" never lets us forget that our Lord is risen indeed, and even during a season of penance and self-examination, there are days on which we are fairly commanded to celebrate. Being an obedient Catholic, that is exactly what I will do.

A couple of ideas to consider:

Consider doing a spiritual adoption of a child conceived at this time of year, and in danger of abortion. No, you don't know the child's name, but that child is out there. (It was my friend Andrea who first introduced this idea to me when I was a new Catholic.) Then, pray for that child through the nine months from today until Christmas day (don't forget to point out to your children that the Annunciation is celebrated exactly nine months before Christmas.) At Christmas time, donate baby items to a crisis pregnancy center (some parishes do spiritual adoptions as parish-wide prayer project, holding a "baby shower" during Advent to collect needed items for donation.)

Or, consider "adopting" a child through a child-sponsorship program, such as this excellent Catholic organization: The Christian Foundation for Children and Aging, through which individuals and families can sponsor children, the elderly or a religious vocation candidate.

However we observe and celebrate this feast, I pray to remember the lesson that is at its core: Mary's fiat ... her "yes" to the Lord.

Where am I withholding my fiat? Is there something I need to say "yes" to that I'm resisting? If so, I pray that the Lord will grant me to grace to say, with Mary, "Let it be done to me according to Thy Word."

(The painting is "The Annunciation" by Henry Ossawa Tanner, 1859-1937. There are so many incredible, beautiful pieces of art from which to choose for the Annunciation -- just Google "Annunciation" under "images" -- but I love the portrayal of the angel in this one, as something that is beyond our vision and comprehension.)

Growing into Grilled peanut butter

A couple of days ago, as I was making grilled peanut butter sandwiches, I remembered the mom who first made such a sandwich for one of my children. My friend, Andrea, a mom of five, had taken care of Anne and Betsy all day while I was at the hospital following a miscarriage. I remember being in awe of her. Not only did she take care of seven children that day, but she allowed one of mine to deviate from the planned menu of grilled cheese, and choose peanut butter instead. Grilled peanut butter? Was there no end to this woman’s creativity?

I realize I was easily impressed in those days (no offense, dear Andrea.) At the time, I was still adjusting to the role of "mom of two." It still seemed tremendously hard to me, and I couldn't imagine what a household with five or six or seven children must be like (though I was willing to find out, if God allowed it for our family. ) So, although I offered to watch other people's kids, it was always "an event" to me -- more chaotic, louder, and busier than I was used to handling. And, it always seemed that I needed people like Andrea more than she needed me. I never seemed to be able to "pay her back" sufficiently.

But, I did it. And, I got better at it. I grew into my role of "mom of two" and added the prefix "homeschooling" to that. Then I became a "homeschooling mom of three" all the while growing into "the event" of helping other moms out with their kids. What had once seemed daunting and impossible was, suddenly and without my realizing it, just part of my everyday life.

Several things recently have brought those early days of motherhood to mind. A week or two ago, I exchanged emails with a young mom of one, and she expressed the general anxiety we all feel when we have "only one": How will I handle two? I encouraged her not to worry too much about it, because (although we all do worry) she'll grow into the role before she even realizes what's happening. I also told her that having only one was actually harder, in many ways, than having two or more because that one child is looking to mom for everything, including constant playtime. (Giving your child more siblings/playmates is a very good thing.)

Then, I read Danielle Bean's Mom to Mom, and she touches on the very same thing. She explains to mothers why it's harder to have only one, and reminds them that the older ones do grow up and become more independent.

Then, I was reminded of all of this again when I recently visited with a wonderful, young mother of two who is considering homeschooling. I never think I offer very articulate answers to the kinds of questions that people have about more babies and homeschooling. From my end, I feel as if I'm sputtering, and repeating myself, and saying, "Don't worry. You just do it."

Not an especially well-crafted defense of my position. But, it's so true. And, in its simple way, comforting. It's an assurance that God will lead and provide.

As Love2Learn mom quotes, from Francis of Assisi:

Start by doing what is necessary, then do what is possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible.

I can't think of better advice for moms.

From "How will I handle another baby?" to "Can I really homeschool?" to babysitting a friend's seven children to making grilled peanut butter ....

Start by doing what is necessary.

God will lend a hand.

Apparently, she thinks I need outside help

Ramona was up early the other day, and asked if she could see what was on HGTV. For several minutes, she watched a craft whiz make impossibly cute boxes that stored things such as office supplies and sewing notions.

"Mommy!" she exclaimed, motioning me over. "Look at what she did! She made those boxes all by herself! And no one even came over!"

Danielle Bean: Mom to Mom, Day to Day

If you don’t know Danielle Bean’s writing, you might not know what to expect from a book with the subtitle, “Advice and Support for Catholic Living.”

You might pick it up thinking, “Who is this woman to give me advice? Has she lived so long and so perfectly that she can dish up the goods on my life when she doesn’t even know me?”

Then, you might open it, and read Danielle’s preface, and find out that she is the kind of woman to pick up an advice book (you know the kind I mean: one with a rigid prescription for how to eat, drink, live, marry, parent, sleep, breathe and forego sugar) and think:

Who does this woman think she is? I find myself furiously thinking as I flip to the back cover to read the author’s bio. Is her family really so perfect? Doesn’t her husband ever leave his balled-up, smelly socks on the bedroom floor and she snaps at him about it? Don’t her kids ever argue about who’s looking at whom and who got the last cookie last time and who got it the time before that and ….

And, you might next think, “Hey! I love her! She’s just like me!”

And, you’d be right (unless you’re the author of the aforementioned book that initially raised Danielle’s ire, in which case, I don’t even want to know you.)

Which is why you’ll love this book and this author. She’s so very real. I want her to live next door to me and come over for lots and lots of coffee while we ignore our children and catch up with each other. Because once in awhile, that’s what real mothers do.

What's in this book? Let me start by telling you what's not in it.

Danielle Bean will not advise you to rise every morning at four a.m. in order to squeeze in that bit of extra prayer time that you need (but, she does have excellent advice on prayer and lovely prayers at the end of each section.) She will not try to convince you that you can whip up gourmet meals six nights out of seven without breaking a sweat (but, she does know how meal planning can keep you sane.) She will not tell you how to create the perfect craft, such as carving bath toys out of soap, thus saving money and mess (but she will offer twelve months' worth of real ideas for observing the liturgical calendar with your kids.)

In other words, what Danielle Bean will give you is a bunch of truths. Truths about how the little things can pile up and make even the best of moms yell at little people (but she'll remind you that you’re not alone) ; about how marriage takes work (but is still the best thing we humans have got going) ; about how boring it can sometimes be to stay home (and yet how ultimately fulfilling and holy it is.) She will talk to you, as if you were having lots and lots of coffee together, about how to get the upper hand on the housework, how to live your faith with your kids, and about how prayer time really works at her house.

Because this is what Danielle Bean is about: striving for the very-real sacred in the midst of the very-real everyday. It’s all connected: the yelling, the commitment, the smelly socks, the prayers, the boredom, the faith, the toilet-scrubbing, the journey to heaven. We moms don’t get to travel a pristine path to holiness. Ours is peppered with dirty diapers, cranky kids, blown fuses and fishsticks. It’s a path that evokes an “Eeewww!” from many. It’s not pretty. And yet, it is the most exquisitely beautiful thing in the world.

Danielle Bean has seen that paradox, as genuine and strange as The Event it mirrors. Motherhood is a kind of crucifixion, a dying to self. From suffering and death come Resurrection. And from the struggles of motherhood joy, beauty and new life emerge.

That’s what Danielle Bean knows, and it's what she’ll tell you in this book: That it’s hard. That there are ideas that will help you. Here they are. Take them and use them. And, along the way, let your vocation transform you.

This isn’t “advice.” This is friendship of the very best sort. Because that’s what moms do. Mom to mom, we take care of each other.

Let this book take care of you for awhile.

Visit Danielle Bean's website, or Pauline Books for information on how to order.

An edible solar system

After reading several books lately about the solar system, Anne-with-an-e stumbled on the idea of "mint planets" in The Secret Life of Food, which is a book overflowing with with fun and creative ideas.

We know it's not done precisely to scale, especially our sun. And, we couldn't get Saturn's mint rings to stay on, so we substituted a dress-up bracelet supported by toothpicks.

And, that pink thing on the far right, just past Pluto (which we know is no longer called a planet ... we just wanted to cover all historical bases)? No, it's not an alien. It's Ramona's snowman.

Remembering Pope John Paul II

We're taking a break from World War II (other than to discuss what Karol Wojtyla was doing at the time) in order to put together a scrapbook on Pope John Paul II. I have a number of pictures, articles and newspapers that I saved from 2005 (has it been two years already?)

And, for what's turning into a unit study, I'm pulling ideas from a number of other resources:

Alice's "John Paul II Memorial Notebooks" -- details can be found on this thread at 4Real

A wealth of links to ideas on this thread at 4Real ... you must check these out

Photographs in Witness to Hope, by George Weigel

Selections from The Poetry of John Paul II

And, I get to read The Jeweler's Shop (or, more accurately, I really, really hope to make time to read it. You know how that goes, fellow moms ....)

I'll also share with my girls this essay, which I wrote right after our beloved Papa left this earth.

Is this work?

Is this school?

Is this why I love the work of homeschooling?

Ramona sums it up

"Oh, Mommeeeeee!" she cried, while delivering an enormous, tight, Mommy-crunching hug.

"I love you! And God! And my family! Oh, more than anything else ever!"

Writers' call

Heidi Hess-Saxton, editor of Canticle, has a need for some articles. See this post at Heidi's Hotline.

Catholic Kids Press is a new, small press specializing in literature for children. They are currently accepting manuscripts and you can see their guidelines here.

Ask Alice

She knows.

She knows the infinite worth of each and every child. She knows the incalculable value of a mother's work. She knows herself, and she knows -- and always did -- that she never would, never could, regret leaving behind a career in the world for the beauty of her career in the home.

Visit Alice here to see what I mean.

Carnival of Children's Literature

Be sure to stop by Midwestern Lodestar for the 12th Carnival of Children's Literature.

Lots of great reading!

Solemnity of St. Joseph

The intercession of St. Joseph for our family has been an enormous blessing.

I believe he has prayed for us through Atticus's conversion, through miscarriages, through doubts and fears about more miscarriages (which can lead to fears of being open to life) and for the spiritual growth of our domestic church.

My beloved St. Joseph is the model husband and father ... giving of himself completely, pouring himself out in body and spirit, offering a total self-donation for his wife and foster-son. May he hear our prayers and cries for intercession, and may he intercede before the throne of God for our family, for all fathers, and for all who call on him with love and faith in the Savior whom he raised.

I'm also praying today that St. Joseph's intercession will help a dear friend and her husband as they discern God's will regarding employment and new opportunities.

St. Joseph, pray for us!

(The above image is Georges de La Tour's "Christ in the Carpenter's Shop", 1645)

Laetare Sunday

Did you see pink at Mass today?

Or does your priest prefer to call it "rose"?

We've had pink both pink and rose priests here. One used to say,  "real men can wear pink" on this, Laetare Sunday. The fourth Sunday of Lent is cause for rejoicing ... we're more than halfway through the penitential season, and we eagerly await the joy of Easter and the celebration of the Resurrection.

More information on Laetare Sunday can be found here and here.

Have a blessed, joyous day!

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Endless ideas, far more creative than our green milk, are available here, at MaryEllen's Loveliness of St. Patrick's Day Fair.

A few links I posted last year are here.

May your St. Patrick's celebration be lovely!

for St. Patrick's Day ... for Atticus

without whom I might never have heard this sublime piece of music by Shaun Davey. Listen to a sample of "The Deer's Cry" (St. Patrick's Breastplate set to music, hauntingly sung by his wife, Rita Connolly) on this page of Shaun Davey's website, and here on Amazon. My reaction to this piece is almost enough to make me believe in genetic memory.

St. Patrick's Breastplate

I bind to myself today
The strong virtue of the Invocation of the Trinity:
I believe the Trinity in the Unity
The Creator of the Universe.

I bind to myself today
The virtue of the Incarnation of Christ with His Baptism,
The virtue of His crucifixion with His burial,
The virtue of His Resurrection with His Ascension,
The virtue of His coming on the Judgement Day.

I bind to myself today
The virtue of the love of seraphim,
In the obedience of angels,
In the hope of resurrection unto reward,
In prayers of Patriarchs,
In predictions of Prophets,
In preaching of Apostles,
In faith of Confessors,
In purity of holy Virgins,
In deeds of righteous men.

I bind to myself today
The power of Heaven,
The light of the sun,
The brightness of the moon,
The splendour of fire,
The flashing of lightning,
The swiftness of wind,
The depth of sea,
The stability of earth,
The compactness of rocks.

I bind to myself today
God's Power to guide me,
God's Might to uphold me,
God's Wisdom to teach me,
God's Eye to watch over me,
God's Ear to hear me,
God's Word to give me speech,
God's Hand to guide me,
God's Way to lie before me,
God's Shield to shelter me,
God's Host to secure me,
Against the snares of demons,
Against the seductions of vices,
Against the lusts of nature,
Against everyone who meditates injury to me,
Whether far or near,
Whether few or with many.

I invoke today all these virtues
Against every hostile merciless power
Which may assail my body and my soul,
Against the incantations of false prophets,
Against the black laws of heathenism,
Against the false laws of heresy,
Against the deceits of idolatry,
Against the spells of women, and smiths, and druids,
Against every knowledge that binds the soul of man.

Christ, protect me today
Against every poison, against burning,
Against drowning, against death-wound,
That I may receive abundant reward.

Christ with me, Christ before me,
Christ behind me, Christ within me,
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ at my right, Christ at my left,
Christ in the fort,
Christ in the chariot seat,
Christ in the deck,
Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks to me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.

I bind to myself today
The strong virtue of an invocation of the Trinity,
I believe the Trinity in the Unity
The Creator of the Universe.

Poetry Friday

from Emily Dickinson:

A light exists in spring
Not present on the year
At any other period.
When March is scarcely here

A color stands abroad
On solitary hills
That silence cannot overtake,
But human nature feels.

It waits upon the lawn;
It shows the furthest tree
Upon the furthest slope we know;
It almost speaks to me.

Then, as horizons step,
Or noons report away,
Without the formula of sound,
It passes, and we stay:

A quality of loss
Affecting our content,
As trade had suddenly encroached
Upon a sacrament.

Why I love Leap Frog Letter Factory

Yesterday, for a little down time after a busy afternoon, Ramona and I watched the LeapFrog Letter Factory and LeapFrog: Talking Words Factory dvds.

Last night, as I was putting her to bed, she snuggled up to me and said, "Cuddle! With a c! C as in cuddle!"

Painless reading instruction, and priceless hugs to boot.

Call me excessive

Did you know that excessive mothering was such a problem?

According to an article by Laura Brodie in Brain, Child magazine, "excessive mothering" is "one of the most common concerns about homeschoolers." She also observes, after homeschooling her daughter for one year:

A third-party adult can often inspire a child more deeply than pleas from dear old Mother, which is why many homeschoolers hire tutors. In addition, the presence of a peer group in a public classroom can keep a child on task, who might, in a home setting, have problems staying focused, and the social diversity in the public schools can't be matched in today's homeschooling communities.

I don't really see an enormous difference between the distraction caused by a four-year-old marching through the kitchen and a fifth-grade peer shooting a spitwad. Either way, the problems related to staying focused need to be overcome, and overall, I'd say I've got the easier end of the deal.

And, I don't see a social diversity dilemma coming down to homeschooling vs. public schooling; that correlates more directly to geography and demographics than to one's method of education.

I'm not sure exactly who's concerned about the rampant excessive mothering that's going on, but apparently a lot of people are. I do hope they can catch the culprits who are guilty of such a thing and stop the practice from spreading.

Oh, wait ... I guess that would be me.

Never mind.

(Hat tip to Beth. Read her reaction here.)

We're dryer-lint challenged

Remember the dryer lint post?

I was cruelly mislead inspired by Lissa and Jennifer to give the stuff a try.

Ummm ... may I just say, that if you have people in your family with long hair, and you also have a cat, that your dryer lint tends to get full of stuff from both? And those are pretty disgusting ingredients when it comes to clay?

The final result? Several kids and a mom saying, "Ewwww."

Pass the Sculpey.


(Note: I still love you, Lissa and Jennifer, and if you can tell me what we're doing wrong, I really will give it another try. I'm sure I'm somehow at fault. Or, maybe we're just disgustingly hairy slobs. And the final insult? Can you believe that Stock.xchng.com doesn't have any stock photos of dryer lint? Sheesh.)

My "must read" for Lent

Pope Benedict XVI's new apostolic exhortation, Sacramentum Caritatis.

Visit People of the Book

and you'll always come away with something really interesting.

Thanks to Jim Manney, I found A Nun's Life.
Interesting.
Sister Julie points us to other blogging nuns as well.
Interesting.
Sister Julie knows that there is nothing wrong with a religious enjoying a good beer.
Interesting.
And, Sister Julie points us to a daily 3-Minute retreat.
Interesting.

See? I told you?

People of the Book always leads me to something interesting.

Our weekly candle lighting and prayers

When I first posted about our Lenten plans, Jill at Praiseworthy Things asked me what readings we planned to use for our Sunday candle-lighting and prayers.

I thought about several different options, from rereading the Gospel of the day, to doing something with the Stations of the Cross. But, I finally settled on using readings and prayers from our Operation Rice Bowl materials, as we are very focused on that this Lent.

Each Sunday, as we light the candles surrounding the crown of thorns, we pray the general prayer provided by ORB, and we pray for the individuals we're learning about. We read a story of one person's life, someone who was touched and changed by the help that Catholic Relief Services provided. Then, throughout the week, we pray for the people in the "country of the week", ask for help and strength in our personal sacrifices, and pray, "Lord, may we abstain from what we do not really need, and help our brothers and sisters in need."

They're simple prayers, and simple petitions. But, I also think it's been touching the girls. And that is the goal of my chosen Lenten prayers. That we're all touched to the point that we can help make a difference.

Which leads me to my next area of Lenten pondering and action ... fair trade coffee, anyone?

How we handle WWII

Jennifer asked, in a recent comment:

How do your daughters deal with the very serious and tragic stories that are associated with World War II?

I started to answer in the comments, but thought it was worth addressing in a post.

First of all, my philosophy is that there's not a single, "correct" way to approach this, nor is there a particular age at which it must be dealt with. I would not have done much with World War II when my eldest daughter was ten (beyond the American Girl "Molly" books, and the nicely done Welcome to Molly's World.) But, doing it now with Betsy (who is 10) is not a problem. The girls have different temperaments and are affected by things so differently. Anne, for example, cannot hear a sweet, sappy song without crying. She has always been profoundly bothered by any kind of cruelty or injustice, and for quite some time did even not want to read the Addy books (the American Girl series about the Civil War) because she could not bear the way Addy and other slaves were treated. It was simply too hard on her sensitive psyche.

Betsy, on the other hand, is a little tougher and always has been. She's the kind of tomboy who would play pirates with the roughest and toughest boy, but would insist on wearing something sparkly while she's swashbuckling. She handles things very differently, and in her own way.

So, with that disclaimer out of the way, I'll move on to one more disclaimer. I have, so far, shielded my girls from any actual photographs of concentration camps and their victims. It's simply too horrendous. I remember my own reaction to seeing such pictures when I was about fourteen ... I could barely fathom what I was seeing and it took everything in me to process it without screaming. I know that the day will come when they will need to see them. But, I decided that the day didn't have to come this year.

So, how did we dive in to this subject? I knew that I wanted to start with something that had "a happy ending." So, we began with Twenty and Ten, which is a really delightful book that was suspenseful, but not frightening. We followed up with Number the Stars, which was a little more realistic, in terms of Nazi cruelty and actions, but it was handled tastefully enough that it was another small step, getting us a bit into the realities of this study.

The Borrowed House came next, and that one was tougher. It's an excellent book, but there were a couple of things I edited out, for Betsy's sake, due to her age.

This book was something of a turning point in our study. It prompted an amazing discussion about free will and the nature of evil. It prompted anger in my daughters when they contemplated, perhaps on a deeper level than they had before, what Hitler actually believed and did. He angered them, and they expressed that anger whenever his name came up in the book. I let them express it with whatever mean, nasty names they wanted to call him, because they needed to get that out somehow.

From there, we read When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit, The Winged Watchman, Escape from Warsaw, Snow Treasure and The Little Riders. All of these had the kind of suspense and adventure that the kids loved, without the ugliest facts and details of the Holocaust. They are the perfect way to explore WWII with kids, because they do it through the lives and stories of real people.

The girls have both read The Diary of Anne Frank, as well, and though it is heartwrenching to know what happened to Anne, they both loved her dearly after reading her diary, and I'm glad I had them it.

And, as I look over my page of book reviews, I see that I haven't had time to post about everything we've read -- s o many others, including books about Eleanor and Franklin Roosevelt, a book about Sadako (Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes, which is a story about the effects of Hiroshima on one little girl ... very sad.) On the lighter side, Betsy loved Tomie de Paola's I'm Still Scared , and the girls both enjoyed learning more about JP II in The Young Life of Pope John Paul II (we're spending the rest of March, as a matter of fact, on our beloved Papa -- learning more about him and putting together a scrapbook about his life.)

This post has been my long-winded way of saying, Jennifer, that you must follow what you think is right for your child. If you sense that a certain subject will be "too much" at a particular age, then trust that sense. Between previewing books and doing them as read-alouds, I've been able to catch what might have been problematic books or passages. And, as always, the beauty of reading aloud with your children is that amazing discussions can and do occur. Things your kids might never mention (if they were reading a book on their own) come up when you're snuggled up together and talking about it.

Careful selection of literature* is the answer ... or, at least, that is the answer that has worked here. And, don't assume that picture books are necessarily gentler than chapter books. Preview, preview, preview! There are so many beautiful and sensitive books out there, but not every book is going to be suited to every child or family. Make the choices that are right for your own dear, sensitive daughter.

For another resource on great WWII books, see this thread at 4Real Learning. The moms there are a treasure trove of information and book recommendations. A couple more related threads are here and here.

*(See this page of posts labeled WWII for all the book reviews.)

Why I do what I do

Ramona was playing with a set of word magnets and left me this note on the fridge:



Her translation?

"Smile, Mommy. You remind me of a flower. I love you."

Since I have seen it used for a variety of things ...

... surely you can forgive my cynical response in the following exchange:

Ramona: Mommy, may I have a cup of water?

Me: Well, that depends on how you plan to use it.

Ramona: Mommy! I want to drink it!

At least she's honest

Anne-with-an-e was supposed to be cleaning her room. I walked in and found her sitting on her bed.

I asked her what she was doing.

"Oh!" she said, shaking herself from her reverie. "Sorry, Mom. I was just staring into space."

More WWII Picture Books

The Bracelet by Yoshiko Uchida, and illustrated by Joanna Yardley, is a simple but affecting book about one little girl's reaction to an internment camp. Before she and her family are taken away, seven-year-old Emi is visited by her best friend, who gives her a bracelet as a memento of their friendship. The fate of the bracelet is tied to Emi's understanding of what she can and cannot hold on to for the duration of the war. A good introductory picture book on the subject of Japanese-American internment camps and their effects on those who were imprisoned.

Baseball Saved Us by Ken Mochizuki, illustrated by Dom Lee, is also good as an introduction to the issue of internment camps. The focus is on one boy's experience of playing baseball while imprisoned, what that does for him later, and how he is motivated and strengthened. The kids cheered at the end of this simple and uplifting book.

We headed back to the Netherlands for The Greatest Skating Raceby Louise Borden (illustrated by Niki Daly) and I think the kids were relieved to leave the oppressiveness of the internment camp books behind (except Anne, who was reading Farewell to Manzanar on her own.) This book was delightful, and reminded us of our favorite van Stockum books, as well as of the resourceful kids in Snow Treasure. Ten-year-old Piet must help two young friends skate to freedom in Belgium. In the process, he realizes that an enormous personal dream is within his grasp. A great read.

The Yellow Star, The Legend of King Christian X by Carmen Agra Deedy and Henri Sorensen, is another uplifting, and gorgeously illustrated book. This one has received several negative reviews, because it is not an historically accurate work. In reality, King Christian of Denmark did not don a yellow star and encourage all of his subjects to do so, as he does in this book. I disagree, however, with the objections to the book on this account, as the author makes it clear that this is a legend. As such, it was fuel for a great discussion about what legends are and why they spring up. Anne and Betsy were reminded of Lois Lowry's Number the Stars, which depicts King Christian as a greatly loved and respected leader. The Legend of King Christian X left the girls with what I think the author intended: the question, "What if?" What if a leader were really willing to do such a thing? What if I were willing? Am I?

Picturing the Lamb of God calendar

Here's the Lamb of God calendar, awaiting the beginning of Lent.








And here we are, not quite halfway through the desert.

How Lent is really going at our house

Comparing the grand plans to the unfolding reality:

*Operation Rice Bowl

Check. We're following this pretty closely, though I sometimes forget to check the calendar for a particular day and I've yet to make one of their suggested recipes. It's been good, though, and enlightening for the kids. We read about a different country each week, and the stories about real people have touched the girls' hearts. The coins and IOU's are going in the rice bowl regularly (IOUs are for larger amounts ... I never have cash, beyond some quarters. Perhaps it's time to raid the couch cushions.)

*Lamb of God Calendar

Check. Ramona loves to glue the cotton balls on, and we do it every couple of days.

*Lenten Caterpillar/Easter Butterfly

Haven't made them yet. Want to. Plan to. Hope to. Kids may not forgive me this year if we (yet again) use the same caterpillars we used the last two years. Those ones are supposed to have already gone through metamorphosis, you know.)

*Lenten (salt dough) Crown of Thorns/Crown of Glory

Nope. We started the salt dough crown of thorns, and I realized that I didn't have anywhere near enough toothpicks. I had about twelve of them. Then, the braiding was going badly (you'd think with all that St. Lucia bread experience that I would be better at this.) So, trying to cover my extreme annoyance with myself, I told the girls we would "just experiment!" Instead of all of the thorns being toothpicks, I cheerfully intoned, we would just shape the dough to look like thorns. Simple as that. We're creative people, right?

We finished, and Anne-with-an-e looked the sad thing over and said, "Ummm ... Mom. It looks more like a crown of peaks than a crown of thorns."

Sigh.

Peaks will not do. They did not look at all terrible, the way thorns should, and there was nothing beautiful about the thing to make up for that fact. Out it went, into the trash.

So, instead of candles being inserted into our salt dough crown, my regular, real crown of thorns is on the table, surrounded by candles. I painted the candle holders purple and we lit all six candles the first week, but we're lighting one fewer candle each Sunday. The "lights are going out" as we approach Good Friday, but come Easter morning, all candles will be blazing once again when the Light of the World has returned.


(Last year we started by lighting one candle, and lit one more each week, as we anticipated Easter, but this year we made the switch. I owe credit for the reverse candle lighting idea to Kelly at The Abundant Life. She mentioned the idea on this thread at 4Real. Thank you, Kelly!)

I think we'll still make a "Crown of Glory" before Easter -- we'll do the salt dough one more time (after all, I was so happy with last year's) and will decorate it with silk flowers and ribbon. I'll replace the purple candle holders with something bright and golden.

*Homemade Soft Pretzels

Check. Made 'em. We'll make 'em again, although really they're too delicious to be considered penitential, so I think the next time we make them they should be my only food for the day.

*Sacrifice Jar

Check. We're doing it, but it needs a whole lot more beans to be plunked into it before Easter morning.

Holy Family Meal

The kids had requested that we do this again this year. Haven't done this yet, and I think I'll replace it with the Seder Meal night at our parish. We're really looking forward to that.

*Have You Ever Wondered Where the Easter Bunny Comes From?

Check. We will read our well-worn Radix coloring/story book and Anne and I will cry, as usual.

Radix no longer prints this little book, but you're in luck, and so am I -- the latest issue of Faith and Family magazine (edited by none other than the delightful Danielle Bean) has a gorgeously illustrated rendition of this story which I will be tearing out and saving. It so perfectly ties the Easter Bunny to the Cross and the Resurrection -- you will never again worry about how to marry the sacred and the secular at Easter.

A Sacrifice a Day

My girls need a little more encouragement and variety in their Lenten sacrifices at this point, so we're adding the "choose what you'll give up today" option to the other thing they're doing.

And that's the scoop on how Lent is really going at our house, at this not-quite-halfway-through-the-desert point.

Happy (Baptismal) birthday to me

March 11, 1990:

Event:

Karen baptized by an Episcopal priest (a perfectly lovely man who in no way pressured her to join the Episcopal church, which she was not ready to do. She knew only one thing: "I must be baptized." Happily, Fr. Spencer obliged.)

Guests:

Atticus, of course (though he had said in the preceding months that this Christian stuff was fine with him, as long as it didn't affect our lives.)

Friend Jack, who drove a few hundred miles to be there (and was later present for my reception into the Catholic Church, and even later, present with his wife at Atticus's reception into the Church.)

Hmph.

I guess it affected our lives.

And, since today is a little Easter, we shall celebrate the effects of this Christian stuff with great joy.

Songs of Angels

Each year during Lent, we try to learn some new prayers, and this year, because our parish prays the Sanctus and the Agnus Dei in Latin during Lent, we chose to chant those daily to reinforce what we're doing at Mass.

We've found that the easiest way to teach new prayers is to simply pray them every night as part of our bedtime prayer routine with the kids.

Last week, I was out on Sunday evening to give an informal talk to a small group at our parish. On the way home, I wondered if Atticus would have the kids in pajamas yet. As I walked in the door, I realized they were already doing bedtime prayers. But, something was different. Without my own inadequate voice drowning them out, I could hear my girls' Latin chanting perfectly. It was a sublime moment: creeping softly into the darkened house, I heard the mesmerizing strains of the Sanctus, quietly sung by a small trio of angels.

We're not professionals here, and no one will ever mistake us for the singing Von Trapps. But, that night, I walked in on the sweetest and loveliest music I have ever heard.

Be sure to gossip about yourself this Lent

Visit Testosterhome and Rachel's adorable "mild-mannered" son here
to see what I mean.

A Catholic 4-year-old at play

Ramona, pretending to be the star of a cooking show:

"Then, just mix this bread and water, and the water will just absolve everything."

More on WWII Picture Books

I have time for only one review this morning. This book is worth more than a quick review, so be sure to take a look at it (the book, that is.) It's one we'll be adding to our library. A huge thanks to Mary, at Our Domestic Church, for recommending this one.

So Far from the Sea by Eve Bunting, illustrated by Chris K. Soentpiet (who also illustrated one of our favorite Christmas reads, Silver Packages,) is a beautiful and deeply moving book about a Japanese-American family in the 1970's. Before moving from California to Boston, they pay a final visit to the site of the Manzanar internment camp where the father and his parents lived during the war and where the children's grandfather is buried.

The book travels back in forth in time, with the help of exquisite watercolor renderings. Using vibrant color for present day scenes and black and white for the flashbacks, Sointpiet plants us squarely in both worlds, helping us to see and feel what life in this prison was like for the little boy, now a man and a father himself.

I don't want to reveal all the details of the plot, but be assured that while it's simple, it will simply wrench your heart. Both the text and the illustrations make this one worth every penny.

Take a peek behind the scenes at Canticle

Want to be in on the happenings at Canticle magazine? Would you like to know what types of articles Heidi's on the lookout for? How about entering Canticle's first-ever writing contest?

Heidi Hess-Saxton is a writing, editing mom who wears many hats, one of them as editor of Canticle. She has opened up her "behind the scenes" blog and invites you to visit Heidi's Hotline -- The "Silent Canticle" to do all of the above.

Go see Donna-Marie's new blog!

It's here, and it's lovely.

We're stuck in World War II

But we wouldn't have it any other way.

My plans are always bigger than my capabilities. Last summer, I said we would delve into World Wars I and II, and also dip into the medieval period (can one really "dip into" any time period? It's usually just too fascinating to take a dip and then leave.) The girls and I have been immersed in World War II all year long.

Here's a quick review of a recent novel we read. I'll be back later to write about some great picture books we've just finished.

My Friend, the Enemy, by J.B. Cheaney revolves around 12-year-old Hazel Anderson, who lives with her family in the Pacific northwest. Hazel lives in a fantasy world, playing "spy" every chance she gets, hoping to catch "the enemy." But when she meets a real, live Japanese boy her world is changed. 15-year-old Sogoji is in hiding, to avoid being sent to an internment camp.

The plot kept my girls interested, and there were some twists and unknowns that kept them guessing, but overall, this one was not as compelling as the other novels of the time period that we've covered. The prejudice in which Hazel is entrenched at the beginning of the novel is portrayed in a rather heavy-handed way, and the same point could have been made more subtly. And, Hazel's transformation from stereotypical bigotry to open-minded acceptance may have happened a little too quickly. Still, it was worth our time, particularly in terms of the discussion it provoked about racial slurs, prejudicial assumptions and bigotry in general.

I was reminded of a conversation I had with Anne-with-an-e, when she was about three or four years old. We had watched "The Jungle Book" and she was talking about Mowgli.

"Mommy," she said, "Mowgli's skin is kind of brown, isn't it?"

"Yes," I said, "it is."

She was quiet for a moment, and I wondered what had prompted the observation. I asked her, "Do you think it's important ... what color our skin is?"

"No," she said. "It's not weally important. Skin is just something that God sticked on our faces."

Why Earth is the specialest planet

"Earth is the specialest planet," Ramona told us yesterday, during a session in which we were exploring the solar system, " because it's where God did His growing up."

One of my angels

from Ramona, to me (Angel label courtesy of Betsy)

Book/movie meme

I was tagged by Amy and Jean for this meme. Please don't throw anything at me because I haven't read Tolkien. I'm getting to it. Really. Sort of. I read The Hobbit when I was in seventh grade and loved it (and just started it as a read-aloud with the girls.) But, I've tried the Rings Trilogy three times, but just can't get into it. Am I hopeless?

Book/Movie Meme: Underline or put an asterisk next to all those books whose movies you have seen. Bold or highlight the ones you've read in a different color.

1. Heidi (Johanna Spyri) *
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3 To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee) *
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell) *
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien) *
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery) *
9. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte) *
10. Anne of Avonlea (L.M. Montgomery)
11.The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
12. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott) *
13 Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
14. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis) *
15. Chariots of Fire (Clarence E. MacArtney) *
16. 1984 (Orwell)
17. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas) *
18. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck) *
19. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald) *
20. War and Peace (Tolsoy)
21. Quo Vadis (Sienkiewicz)
22. The Hunchback of Notre Dame (Victor Hugo)*
23. The Robe (Douglas) *
24. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
25. The Story of A Soul (St. Therese)

Do we give up "something good"?

Or "something bad"?

We're talking Lenten sacrifices, of course.

I've heard people debate this, but I see no reason to debate. We don't have to punch it out over this one. We just have to figure out the answer to this question: "Will it help me grow closer to my God?"

On the rigid definition side, we have those who say that we must give up "a good" or else it really isn't a sacrifice, a sacrifice being the giving up of an objective good for a greater good.

On the loose definition side, we have those who say that giving up "something bad" (a bad habit, such as complaining, or smoking) is just as difficult (if not more so) as giving up something good, and therefore, it can be a great spiritual exercise.

I declare a draw. Both sides can be right.

The key is in our perception: if it's tough to give it up, it means we're inordinately attached to it. Ultimately, does it matter if the thing we are attached to is "good" or "bad"?

In one sense, no. It's the giving up of the attachment, for God's sake, that counts. By giving up our attachments and our addictions, we're saying to God, "You are more important to me than this thing. I'm giving it up for You."

Whether that thing is smoking, or complaining, or another addiction, doesn't really matter. It's the act of love that counts. And, our act of love often leads to real behavioral change. When we give up an addiction for God, we open ourselves to grace, and find Him working on our hearts, ridding us of painful, controlling attachments.

In that sense, it's certainly an acceptable Lenten sacrifice to give up "something bad."

On the flip side, if we give up something that is objectively good, we get the joy of that thing's return on Easter Sunday. And this is a beautiful thing to experience. We see, in a small but concrete way, what it means that sacrifice leads to Resurrection. (As I wrote in this essay, "Break out the chocolate bunnies! He is Risen!")

There's still room for debate: is chocolate an objective good* or an unhealthy addiction? What about alcohol (in moderation, of course)? Blogging? Meat every day? Desserts? TV and movies? Music?

So often, there is overlap. Are we addicted to what would be, in moderation, an objective good? Perhaps, come Easter, we'll find that God has helped us to let go of the attachment, and enjoy the thing as it's intended to be enjoyed. There's nothing wrong with dessert. God invented sugar. But He didn't mean it to be the mainstay of our diet. (That overlap is why I often choose several things to give up -- something in the "Help me get rid of this forever, God" category, and something in the "Break out the chocolate bunnies" category.)

It's all so personal. What's easily managed for one person is a torturous attachment for another. That's why we can't really debate about the "right things" to give up for Lent.

If giving it up will help you grow closer to God, then it's the right thing for you.

***********************
*Okay, so this one is not up for debate. God invented the objective good of chocolate right after Adam, Eve and children.

The second Sunday of Lent

and I'm feeling extraordinarily grateful for my faith, and the words of St. Augustine keep coming to mind today.

Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved you!

You were within me, but I was outside, and it was there that I searched for you. In my unloveliness I plunged into the lovely things which you created. You were with me, but I was not with you. Created things kept me from you; yet if they had not been in you they would have not been at all.

You called, you shouted, and you broke through my deafness. You flashed, you shone, and you dispelled my blindness. You breathed you fragrance on me; I drew in breath and now I pant for you.

I have tasted you, now I hunger and thirst for more. You touched me, and I burned for your peace.

It's definitely her field of study

Last night, as Ramona and I were laughing it up over something, she said:

"We're laughing a lot! We're laughter-a-tologists!"

Lenten meme

What is your favorite Sorrowful Mystery?

"Favorite" isn't exactly the word I'd use in connection with the Sorrowful Mysteries ... when I think of "my favorite things" I'm usually thinking of the things that bring me laughter, joy, calories and wakefulness (coffee, my husband, my daughters, chocolate, a glass of Merlot, friends and family ... I'll leave it to you to sort out which brings me which.)

The Sorrowful Mysteries bring a different and solemn kind of joy and wakefulness in the contemplation of them. Contemplating the Carrying of the Cross keeps me alert to what our Lord did for me, and to what He asks me to do every day. Each of the mysteries does this, of course, but for me, the Carrying of the Cross is the one I go back to most often, identify with most completely, and love most deeply.


What is your favorite Station of the Cross?

Of course they are all profoundly affecting, but one that speaks powerfully to me is the Fourth Station, Jesus meets His mother. A variation on this that I love is a set of stations used by Pope John Paul II. In these stations, the twelfth is "Jesus speaks to His mother and the disciple."


Do you fast during Lent?

Yes, in various ways and from various foods and/or things.

What is your Lenten Resolution(s)?

I'm going to keep my personal resolutions private for now. That way, I think I'm less likely to complain about them. My family knows (at least they know the ones that show outwardly), but I'm trying not to talk about it much.

That's not to say that I think it's wrong to share with friends what one is giving up -- I think it can be a great thing, and a source of support for us to encourage one another, give each other ideas, and the like.

As far as our family, my children have given up complaining. The only problem with this is that since Sundays aren't part of Lent, and we never fast on a "little Easter" my girls jokingly said, "We can complain all we want on Sunday!" This was followed by much giggling -- which leads me to a post I keep meaning to write: "Do we give up 'something good' or 'something bad' for Lent?" I'll get to it soon ....

We're also following Operation Rice Bowl, and I like the email updates, the calendar for home use, and the discussions it has sparked about hunger and working conditions around the world.

Do you use Holy Water during Lent?

We have it around all the time, and love having holy water fonts in several locations in the house.

How many times do you go to Mass during Lent?

I'm taking the girls to a daily Mass one extra time a week.

Thank you, Matilda, for the tag! And I tag anyone who'd like to respond ... and if you do, will you let me know?

I see heartache in her future

Ramona had the pleasure yesterday of hosting playtime with one of her best friends, four-year-old Peter. We had just arrived back home with him, and were getting out of the car. As I helped Ramona unbuckle, she threw her arms around me and said, "I love you, Mommy!"

"I love you, too!" I returned.

She then turned to Peter, still bursting with all this joy, and said, "I love you, Peter!"

Peter, busying himself with getting out of the car, hopped out and said, "Yeah!"

Ramona followed him out, gave him a solemn look that was not without accusation, and with eyebrows raised, said:

"Is that all you have to say?"