Friday, May 18, 2012
The main thing is that there will be countless times when you don't think you can do this.
You'll worry -- sometimes a little, sometimes a lot -- that you don't (and will never) have enough intelligence, versatility, knowledge, energy, humor, strength, endurance, foresight, insight, patience, time for napping, time for yourself, time to go to the bathroom, time to prepare lessons, time to think about why you started doing this in the first place.
There will be years when you wonder, "What was I thinking?!"
There will be days when you cry.
There will be moments when it occurs to you, "My parents were right -- I was crazy to take this on. Not for the reasons they thought -- which included their concern that I was becoming a certifiable fanatic -- but because I don't know what I'm doing."
There will be wakefulness at 3 a.m. You will think, "Have I ruined my children?"
Then one day, you'll realize that your oldest child is old enough to graduate. You will suddenly grasp a few truths.
You'll realize that you employed a little -- at least enough -- intelligence, versatility, knowledge, energy, humor, strength, endurance, foresight, insight, patience, time for napping, time for yourself, time to go to the bathroom, and time to prepare lessons, for her to reach this milestone.
You will have time to think about why you started doing this in the first place.
You will be grateful.
You will feel -- oh, how shall I put this? Amazed.
You'll say to yourself, "Now I know what I was thinking."
You'll cry, but they'll be tears of relief and happiness and pride in this beautiful, 18-year-old creature who stands before you. You'll think, "Yeah, Mom and Dad were on to something -- this was crazy. But it was right, it was good."
You'll wake up at 3 a.m. and wonder if you've planned enough food for the party.
And your parents will come to town to help celebrate this, the first graduation from your homeschool, and you will take them to lunch. They will tell you that they think you've done a fantastic job of raising and educating your daughters.
You'll almost cry again, but the waitress will interrupt you and ask if everything is okay.
Everything is okay.