Tanita Davis shared the Poetry Pals' Challenge for September:
We deal with some ADHD here in Edmisten World. Knowing and accepting that ADHD is a genuine cognitive difference is really helpful. (Correction: it's vital.) And consider this, from ADDitudemag.com:
Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder is a confusing, contradictory, inconsistent, and frustrating condition. It is overwhelming to people who live with it every day.
Part of the overwhelm comes from blaming yourself for things that may not fully be in your control. ("I feel like a failure" is a common refrain.)
So my poem this week is an affectionate nod to everyone who has ADHD, and to all who live with ADHDers. And to everyone who has ever thought that everything is their fault ... I'm willing to bet it's not.
It Was All My Fault
Karen Edmisten
I lost my phone,
it was all my fault.
Sigh. Now I’m gonna eat.
I’ll get the salt.
I forgot the salt.
That was all my fault.
My meal was bland.
Now I want a malt.
Can I DoorDash the malt?
No, again I’m at fault.
Cuz my phone is lost.
ADHD assault.
Did I order this brain?
Indeed I did not.
I’d have ordered a vault.
So who’s really at fault?
My preference would be
for some brain gestalt,
hold it all in my mind.
It’s not really my fault. (Is it?)
Stop, said my family,
my friends, my beloved.
The self-assault must
come to a halt.
It’s not your fault.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I look forward to seeing who played along with the September challenge,
and if they're taking the blame or lobbing it. 😊
25 comments:
Karen, I read and reread your poem because it warrants multiple reads. The rhyming is amazing, especially since you found great word choice to make the poem seamless. The ending is a perfect way to bring empathy into the poem. Positivity is the way to help those who are ADHD or forgetful. Thanks for the flow and fun this morning.
Oh, what a generous poem--and I extra love the "Did I order this brain?" stanza!
Karen, what a fine poem! Thank you for sharing your heart with us — and, as ever!, the poetry! 🤗
When the brakes are applied, it's a gift from everyone who loves you: STOP. You're enough. Rethink, and shame must halt. You chose a hard rhyming word and stuck it to the end - kudos!
* Carol, thanks so much, that's so kind of you!
* Laura, thanks! I am surrounded by ADHD brains, and I know well the feeling they often have, of not choosing a brain that sometimes works that way. :)
*Thank you, elli! It's all about the poetry. :D
* Tanita, thank you! ADHD asks a lot of everyone, doesn't it? I'm grateful that I/we have much more knowledge and information about it than we used to, especially in reference to its manifestation in women.
Wonderful!! You've given me fresh insight into how ADHD brains work. It's easier to judge offhand than to take the time to understand.
Jama, thanks! We all need to give each other a lot of grace at our house! :D
I recently met someone who wasn’t diagnosed until well into adulthood. I would like to gift him your poem. My grandson struggles with it as well, so I am happy there are many more resources available now. I agree that fault is hard to rhyme, so I appreciate how the words work in this poem.
Margaret, thanks so much and I'm honored that you want to share it with your friend. And my best to your grandson. People with ADHD are quite often misunderstood, so it's good that your grandson has a diagnosis and can work on some tools!
Did I order this brain? Love! (And applies to things other than ADHD.) Thank you, Karen. xo
Thanks, Karen! I agree that the stanza about not ordering this brain is so strong and true.
* Irene, it sure does! (I have a list, lol.)
* Thanks, Rose. If only we could order what we want, or at least choose to omit a few things. :)
The struggle is real, but your poem serves it up with a nice dash of humor!
Thanks, Mary Lee. The struggle's real, for real.
Oh, I love an Edmisten original! You make what is frustrating giggle-worthy. It's all too true!
Thanks, Linda! Gotta laugh, right? :)
My favorite thing about this otherwise sketchy era is that all "self-assult must come to a halt." It is easier than ever to find permission and models for loving yourself, even if it is just as difficult to actually do it. Love to see a poem by YOU, now and then....
Thanks so much, Heidi! ❤️
Karen, what a humbling and vulnerable message carried in your poem. I had no idea that fault-taking was a piece of ADHD. Makes me love my ADHDers even more. Thank you!
I can so relate. Having been in elementary school in the 50's-60's, I wonder if elementary-age me would have gotten a diagnosis. I certainly had some stimming things I did.
* Patricia, the ADHDers around me have forced me to seek out new knowledge and understanding, whether I wanted to or not. 😁
* Jone, it seems that they rarely used to diagnose girls and women, and now they can see that it often manifests differently in girls/women. May the progress continue!
Ha -- I love this, especially the "brain gestalt"!! The struggle is so real!
Thanks, Liz! I went around and around about where I could squeeze the word "gestalt" in there. :D
Terrific ending Karen and I love the "brain gestalt" a little levity always helps, thanks for it here!
Thanks so much, Michelle! Levity always helps. :D
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