Candy, Candy Everywhere

I was going to do an original post this year for Halloween and All Saints' Day, but time has gotten away from me. Thus, a rerun:

All Hallow's Eve approaches.

For the record, we're a family that does Halloween.

It's become quite the Daddy-daughter thing over the years. Atticus and the girls plot out the best candy routes. Atticus often wishes for a helicopter, to really increase the candy haul. We discuss the Catholic roots and connections and talk about "soul caking" and we often refer to it as "All Hallow's Eve" rather than "Halloween" to reinforce what it really is.

We talk about both All Saints and All Souls Day as they approach. We plan our evening around Mass (though I know, I know -- this year it's not a holy day of obligation, alas.) 

Then we have the chocolate-related fun.

Post-Mass, the kids don their costumes. I always dress up as a homeschooling mom, but no one ever guesses what I am.  We sometimes trick-or-treat at the local convent -- the sisters love to have visitors, and it's especially fun to see the elderly sisters take such joy in children.

Then, we execute The Plan:  Candy Galore. Door to door, neighbors we know, family fun.  Anne-with-an-e has gotten too old for trick-or-treating (but Betsy's all for wringing one more year out of it) so she helps me hand out candy while Atticus leads the Chocolate Brigade down the street.

And, yes, we eat lots of candy. I let them have it for breakfast the next day and I rarely give any of it away or complain that it causes cavities. We just enjoy it. That's what feast days are for, as noted in this fun article by Jeffrey Tucker.

One year, Ramona observed, "You can never have too much candy."

I replied, "Well, sometimes you can have too much at a time, but ...."

"But," Ramona said solemnly, "you can never own too much candy."

Not on All Saints Day anyway. It is indeed a day to celebrate.

And, just for fun, here's a virtual pumpkin to carve  (h/t, from a couple years ago, to Danielle Bean.)

Beautiful Review of Through the Year With Mary at Catholic News Agency

Many thanks to Br. Benet Exton at the CNA for his review of Through the Year With Mary. Br. Benet writes:

There have been several books offering one minute meditations published over the years, but this one is one of the best.

Wow -- thank you, Br. Benet!

You can read his entire review here.

Poetry Friday: He's Never About Just the Apples

Which is why I love Robert Frost so very much.

Last year, I posted Reluctance as I bid farewell to autumn. I said:

I really didn't get Robert Frost until I was older.

When I was in high school, I thought of him as the death poet, stopping by woods to think about that final nap, or as the rugged individualist, taking New England roads less traveled.

But as I grew up -- lived, moved, loved, worked, lost, made mistakes, grieved, hated, healed, and grew every year to love the shape and layering of words more dearly, I found that I also loved the roads Frost traveled.

Yes, Frost appeals to my middle-aged mature self.  He's keenly aware of fallen nature, desperate wants, lonely needs, steadfast love. And, as I mentioned last year, he stuns me with his talent for tackling the simplest subject and transforming it into a metaphysical wallop. 

After Apple-Picking
by Robert Frost

My long two-pointed ladder's sticking through a tree
Toward heaven still,
And there's a barrel that I didn't fill
Beside it, and there may be two or three
Apples I didn't pick upon some bough.
But I am done with apple-picking now.
Essence of winter sleep is on the night,
The scent of apples: I am drowsing off.
I cannot rub the strangeness from my sight
I got from looking through a pane of glass
I skimmed this morning from the drinking trough
And held against the world of hoary grass.
It melted, and I let it fall and break.
But I was well
Upon my way to sleep before it fell,
And I could tell
What form my dreaming was about to take.
Magnified apples appear and disappear,
Stem end and blossom end,
And every fleck of russet showing clear.
My instep arch not only keeps the ache,
It keeps the pressure of a ladder-round.
I feel the ladder sway as the boughs bend.
And I keep hearing from the cellar bin
The rumbling sound
Of load on load of apples coming in.
For I have had too much
Of apple-picking: I am overtired
Of the great harvest I myself desired.
There were ten thousand thousand fruit to touch,
Cherish in hand, lift down, and not let fall.
For all
That struck the earth,
No matter if not bruised or spiked with stubble,
Went surely to the cider-apple heap
As of no worth.
One can see what will trouble
This sleep of mine, whatever sleep it is.
Were he not gone,
The woodchuck could say whether it's like his
Long sleep, as I describe its coming on,
Or just some human sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~

The Poetry Friday round up is at The Writer's Armchair. 

What Would You Do Differently?

I recently read a collection of answers to that question from a variety of homeschooling moms.

"If you could do it again ...."


So. Now that I have ten years of homeschooling under my belt, what would I change?

I would ....

Humph. I've been staring at this page for ten minutes.

Is there nothing I can think of that I'd change? Is our homeschool so ethereally perfect that we needn't tweak a thing?

Ummm, no.

I can round up some of the usual suspects for homeschooling change:

More or less curriculum (depending on the year), more or less glitter (depending on the day), more time outside (always),  more penmanship (nah, scratch that. Long ago, a friend told me that he feared for my life because my new boyfriend Atticus had the handwriting of an axe murderer; I think my kids just inherited their father's hand rather than my careful script.)

But, all of those things are somewhat incidental because, as helpful as "What would you do differently?" surveys are (because I do think they can help us identify weaknesses when we're in the midst of battle), generally speaking, we can't change who we are and where we are on the road.

I can tell a new mom to relax about her baby, but she's still going to fret.

I can tell the mom of a three-year-old that "they all get potty-trained eventually," but she'll still be worried.

I can tell a new homeschooler that she needn't create an Einstein in Kindergarten or first grade, but she'll still be overflowing with enthusiasm and might do too much.

Beginners make beginners' mistakes. I did. I'm still making them, because I'm still a beginner,  just in new and different stages of life. Expect mistakes. Expect tweaking. Expect overhauls.

But, here's the best homeschooling and parenting advice I can dish out:

Identify your biggest fear. Then, hand it right over to Jesus. Every. Single. Morning.  Ask Him to help you face that fear, just for today. Go to bed at night thanking Him for the chance to face the fear and ask Him for forgiveness for your mistakes and sins and ask Him to help you through the next day.

Wake up the next day and repeat.

What would I do differently?

I would never forget my own advice.

(Photo from ImageChef.com)

The Snoring Scholar Reviews Through the Year With Mary

Sarah Reinhard, of Just Another Day of Catholic Pondering, Faith and Family Live, CatholicMom.com and Catholic Exchange, has posted an absolutely lovely review of my new book, Through the Year with Mary.

I especially love Sarah's honesty in admitting that she wasn't initially thrilled with the idea of a "daily devotional" sort of thing, as she often tends to fall away from those.

She says that Through the Year With Mary was:

not at all what I expected. At 117 pages, it was slim enough to fit into any purse I would leave the house with. The quotes were not the usual Marian fare and the reflections were substantial, though often only a sentence long.

I read this book in about a week — a month or two each evening after it came — and I can tell you, with complete confidence, that it’s completely worth what you’ll spend for it. Whether you use it as it’s intended, as a daily devotional, or you read it as it suits you, you’ll find that you glimpse Mary in unexpected ways. The combination of off-the-beaten-track quotes and Edmisten’s accompanying meditation makes for a read that sticks with you in the very best way.

Find Sarah's full review here.

Thank you, Sarah! (said the author, blushing.)

Quote For a Sunday Night

"If you want faith, pray. If you want hope, pray. If you want charity, pray. If you want poverty, pray. If you want obedience, pray. If you want chastity, pray. If you want humility, pray. If you want meekness, pray. If you want fortitude, pray. If you want any virtue, pray.

"And pray in this fashion: always reading the Book of Life, that is, the life of the God-Man, Jesus Christ, whose life consisted of poverty, pain, contempt and true obedience."

~~ Blessed Angela of Foligno, Book of Visions and Instructions

Poetry Friday: Notes From the Other Side

It's a big weekend for the KidLitoSphere. Caboodles of KitLit bloggers will convene in Minneapolis for KidLitCon, which starts tonight.

I was that close to joining a Poetry Friday panel (and was honored to be asked) but I was fairly certain this wouldn't be a good weekend for me to travel, and I was right. So, while I will not be in Minneapolis, I'll be thinking of some dear friends and Poetry Friday pals who will be, hoping that they have a grand time and take home loads of literary and poetic memories.

On to Poetry Friday here at home ...

My poem this week is a poignant one from Jane Kenyon, and I'm sending it out to my friend, Suzie Andres, who, like me, loves Kenyon's work and the One who is "mercy clothed in light."

Notes from the Other Side
by Jane Kenyon

I divested myself of despair
and fear when I came here.

Now there is no more catching
one's own eye in the mirror,

there are no bad books, no plastic,
no insurance premiums, and of course

no illness. Contrition
does not exist, nor gnashing
....

Read the rest here, at Poets.org, and visit Andi at A Wrung Sponge for the round-up.

Of Interviews and Wall Rosaries

I had a delightful talk with Sean Herriott this morning on Relevant Radio. They are in the midst of a two-day, online Marian retreat, so be sure to take advantage of the opportunity.

While you're at it, take a mini-mini-retreat in the form of this post from Sean, at his blog, Joe Convert.com, about praying the Rosary. Wonderful!

Change in Thursday Morning Radio Schedule

On Thursday morning, October 21st, I'll be joining the folks at Relevant Radio at 8 a.m. central time (rather than at 9, as previously posted) to participate in their online retreat, "In Our Lady's Hands."  I'll be talking about developing a devotion to the Blessed Mother.

Does Happy Homeschooling = No Worries?

The short answer is no. The long answer is a blog post.

I am a happy homeschooler. But "happy" is not equivalent to slaphappy or to sporting a perpetual smile.  I was thinking about this today as I batted a few worries around in my happy head. I wasn't feeling particularly chipper as I thought about:

• math
• ACT scores
• teaching cursive to an eight-year-old
• balancing my unschoolish approach with my husband's English teacher ways
• a daughter taking online classes at the community college
• a daughter who suddenly cares about a grade
• a daughter who rightly and admirably cares about her grade
• a daughter who isn't 8 years old anymore
• needing bifocals (me, not the daughter)
• trying to be everything to everyone every day
• feeling that there's never enough time for all my roles and that I want to hire a stunt double

Let's be clear: homeschooling is not perfect. It can inspire cloudbursts of anxiety, worry, doubt, insecurity and fear about the future. (I suppose parents who send their kids to school could say the same thing? That any parent could say the same thing of parenting?) Homeschooling sometimes feels overwhelming, and then I begin to  wonder if I'm up to it, if I can give my kids all that they need.

Then, I remember that we are to pray, "Protect us from all anxiety." And so that's what I pray:

"Protect me, Jesus, from the fear that I can't do it all. Because I can't. That's why I need You."

As Scripture tells me:

Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
-- Philippians 4:6-7

It also helps to have a husband who listens, friends who listen, a confessor who listens. St. Francis de Sales knew that:

The heart finds relief in telling its troubles to another, just as the body when suffering from persistent fever finds relief from bleeding. It is the best of remedies, and therefore it was that S. Louis counselled his son, "If thou hast any uneasiness lying heavy on thy heart, tell it forthwith to thy confessor, or to some other pious person, and the comfort he will give will enable thee to bear it easily."

                            -- Introduction to the Devout Life

St. Thomas Aquinas also apparently knew a few homeschooling mothers:

Sorrow can be alleviated by good sleep, a bath and a glass of wine.

Being a happy homeschooler does not mean I'll never feel sorrow, anxiety, worry or dread. I have. I do. I will.

It does mean knowing where to turn when those spectors try to haunt. Jesus gives -- and He is -- the best of advice.

Happy homeschooling for me is not a mood or a mindless game or a steady, even course. It is a way of living, though -- of trusting, and of getting up each day and starting again, knowing that I'm not in charge.

On the Radio a Couple of Times This Week

Two things:

Wednesday, October 20th, at 10:20 a.m. (central time) I'll be on The Catholic Channel, talking to Greg and Jennifer Willits on The Catholics Next Door.

On Thursday morning, October 21st, I'll be joining the folks at Relevant Radio at 9 a.m. central time to participate in their online retreat, "In Our Lady's Hands."  I'll be talking a little bit about developing a devotion to the Blessed Mother.

Tracking the Elusive Homeschooler

Ramona: Mommy, when I whistle, you honk, okay?

Me: Okay.

Ramona: (Whistles)

Me: Honk.

Ramona: (Whistles)

Me: Honk.

(This continued for a minute.)

Me: Wait a minute ... why are we honking again?

Ramona: It's the way we communicate. You know. As homeschoolers do?

Me: This is how homeschoolers communicate?

Ramona: Yes. We're a rare sub-species.

St. Teresa of Avila!

A few of my favorite quotes from her:


"Oh my Lord! How true it is that whoever works for you is paid in troubles! And what a precious price to those who love you if we understand its value."

*****

Spoken to God during a trial: "If this is how you treat your friends, it is not surprising that You have so few of them."

*****

"God, deliver me from sullen saints."

*****

"Remember that you have only one soul; that you have only one death to die; that you have only one life ... If you do this, there will be many things about which you care nothing."

*****

Let nothing trouble you
Let nothing frighten you
Everything passes
God never changes
Patience obtains all
Whoever has God wants for nothing
God alone is enough

*****

"Do not dismayed daughters, at the number of things which you have to consider before setting out on this divine journey, which is the royal road to heaven. By taking this road we gain such precious treasures that it is no wonder if the cost seems to us a high one. The time will come when we shall realize that all we have paid has been nothing at all by comparison with the greatness of our prizes."

*****

Bernini's Ecstasy of St. Teresa

Poetry Friday: The Thing Is

I love works that capture the simultaneous frailty and bravery of human beings. This poem does just that, and does so perfectly. 

The Thing Is

by Ellen Bass

to love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you've held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.

(Read the rest here, at The Writer's Almanac.)

The round up is at Liz in Ink.

In this month of the Rosary ....

October is the month of the Holy Rosary and here are a couple of my favorite quotes about this sublime prayer, from Through the Year with Mary:

Call [the Rosary] spiritual homeopathy if you like. Many a proud spirit has been brought down by it -- many a faddy spirit has been made patient by it. Many a queasy spirit has been made strong by it. Many a distracted spirit has become recollected by it. The weak things of this world hath God chosen to confound the strong.

~~ Archbishop William Bernard Ullathorne

Some people do not like to take the medicine that would heal them, and call it nonsense. The rosary is exactly that medicine which cures an amazing deal of nonsense.

~~  Archbishop Ullathorne

Join me on Ave Maria Radio Thursday Morning

 

I'll be talking with Teresa Tomeo on Catholic Connection Thursday morning, October 14, at 8:15 a.m. (central time).

It seems to me that I used to have a blog ...

... or was I dreaming?

I think I had an online spot wherein I thought about things and then wrote about them.

Lately, though, it seems that I don't have time.

Hoping that Time experiences some sort of warp that will allow me to do that again someday ....

Ramona's Latest Poem

Autumn

by Ramona

Twirling,twirling, leaves of plenty
you seem to fall from the sky!

Though I know you fall from the trees
it still seems so magical.

Twirling,twirling, leaves of plenty.

The Homeschool Literary Quarterly

Here's something we'll be looking further into -- the people at WriteGuide.com have started an online literary magazine for homeschoolers.

They are accepting submissions now, until November 15, for the Christmas/December edition.

Poetry Friday: Why I Love George Bilgere

I loved him here, when he failed to read an important novel, because I knew he would understand my relationship with Moby Dick.

And I loved him here, because even though I am a woman and I am expected to love and plan such things as bridal showers, in truth I despise them (in all their "astonishing detail") unless they consist of a.) much wine and b.) no silly games. No games at all. On top of that, I am the person to whom his ode is addressed ("O person like me/phoneless in your distant cafe....")

And I really love him here today, in this droll comparison:

The Return of Odysseus
by George Bilgere

... With the help
of his son Telemachus he slaughters roughly
one hundred and ten suitors
and quite a number of young ladies,
although in view of their behavior
I use the term loosely. Rivers of blood
course across the palace floor.

I too have come home in a bad mood.

Please promise me you'll go read the whole thing which, while it made me laugh, also acted as a bit of poetic melatonin, producing an elevated level of contentment as I rest in the knowledge that I, too, have someone who will listen to me with "epic patience."

The Poetry Friday round-up is at Carol's Corner.

Simple Ways to Get More Prayer Into Your Life

On this Feast of Our Lady of the Rosary, some ideas for prayer and inspiration:

Ideas from my Rosary book:

Pray in the shower.
Pray in the car.
Pray while you walk.
Pray as you do chores.
Pray with your kids instead of trying to find quiet time alone.
Pray a decade of the Rosary here and there.
Pray in the middle of the night (when up with a baby, if you're an insomniac ....)
Pray on the way to Mass.

Ideas from others:

• Sarah Reinhard's The Rosary Seven  and her Faith and Family article, Praying the Rosary: Try and Try Again. 

• Keep Your Perspective, from Fr. S.

• Read some Chesterton and get a head start at Castle in the Sea

Feast of Our Lady of the Rosary

"The Rosary taught Bernadette everything …
The Rosary was her dictionary, her spelling book,
naming and explaining the mysteries of God’s kingdom;
it was a map guiding her to the heart of  God’s love for humanity."

~~ Fr. John Lochran, The Miracle of Lourdes

Maybe I'm Just an Obsessive Sort

Ramona: When I grow up, I'm going to wear lipstick.

Me: Okay.

Ramona: Why don't you wear lipstick, Mommy?

Me: I used to.

Ramona: Why don't you anymore?

Me: I just got tired of it. I mean, when you first start wearing it you think, "Oh, that looks nice." And then, on the days you're not wearing it, you start to think, "Hmm ... I look better with lipstick. Maybe I should wear it every day."  And pretty soon you're wearing it every day, but as it wears off each day and you catch a glance of yourself in the mirror, you think, "Oh! I look awful without lipstick!" and so before you know it you think you have to wear it constantly just to look "normal" and I just got tired of all that.

Ramona: Well, that won't happen to me.

Me: Why not?

Ramona: I'm not that vain.

Ramona and Jim Arnosky

What better way to spend the Feast of St. Francis of Assisi than with the prince of animal picture books? We headed to Barnes and Noble in Omaha today to meet Jim Arnosky, who was on the last stop of a tour to promote his new book, Man Gave Names to All the Animals.

He was absolutely delightful and so very gracious as he signed not only the books we  bought but also the favorites Ramona had carted along in her bookbag.  What a gentleman. He even agreed to let this gushing mom take a picture.

On the way home, we twanged along with Bob Dylan (the new book comes with a cd of Dylan singing the song) as we were treated to a breathtaking flock of blackbirds at dusk.

I'm going to heave a contented sigh now and head to bed.  Hope your feast day was as lovely as ours.

Quote for a Monday

"Sanctify yourself and you will sanctify society."

~~ St. Francis of Assisi

(h/t to MyCatholic.com) 

Question of the Day

A non-Catholic friend and I have begun an email discussion about my Rosary book and all things Mary. On the subject of prayer in general, he recently asked me, "What does 'pray without ceasing' mean to you?"

My answer was:

"To me it's a command to have Christ always in my heart, mind and soul. To talk to Him at every moment, about everything.  He's the voice in my head, my advice columnist, my confidante, my fact-checker, my friend, my beloved, my teacher, my brother, my observer, my judge, my amnesty-granter, my lens through which I see the world."

How does "pray without ceasing" play out in your life?

Thanks, Karen and Doreen!

Reviews of Through the Year With Mary from readers Doreen at Ponderings and Karen at Karen's Adventures in Mommyland.

Thank you!

Bits and Pieces of Our Days

Earlier this month it occurred to me that there've been three phases in my life during which I willingly walked in the rain:

1. When I was young-and-in-love and thought it was obligatory.
2. When I was in spiritual despair (and didn't care about my hair.)
3. When I became a dog owner.

Each phase had its moments. I'm still in love but do not feel obligated to walk in the rain with Atticus. I'm no longer in spiritual despair, but I still don't care enough about my hair to pay for haircuts.  The dog, the walks and the rain? Somehow that feels quite right. Neither obligatory nor wretched, as the earlier phases were. Just necessary and pleasant.

~~~~~

We had our new pastor over for the first time. After I put the finishing touches on the Curried Cranberry Chicken Salad I suddenly thought, "Oops. What if he hates curry?" Apparently some people do. Fortunately, our new pastor is not one of those people.  

Just before he left, we were all talking books and I thought, "Oh, maybe it'd be nice to give him copies of my books?" So, I did but after he left I had second thoughts. "Was that tacky?" I asked Atticus, as I can never tell if I'm being tacky or not. "To push my own books on someone? I'm sure he doesn't have time to read them." 

"It was extremely tacky," Atticus drawled. "I was sooo embarrassed for you." 

I rolled my eyes and cleared the table.

What good is a Tacky Patrol if it will only make fun of you? 

~~~~~

I'm reading an old Anne Tyler novel, The Accidental Tourist.  I adore Anne Tyler's writing. I had forgotten just how much I adore it until recently when I recommended her to a friend who was looking for something new to read (and then picked up one of her books at the library for myself.)  She opens her characters up with such precision -- exposing them with intricate, expert cuts, like a surgeon. "See?" she shows us, delicately pinning back a flap of skin, "this is what's wrong with Macon." Her skilled hands proceed to probe and heal. Throughout the procedure, the tiniest thing her patient does can make me cry in its realness and vulnerability.

Here's an interesting interview with her from a few years ago. 

~~~~~

This weekend, for the first time, Ramona will sing with the children's choir at Holy Mass. That means she won't be sitting with us.  

For the first time.

I don't have babies anymore.

~~~~~

And now, your tacky, badly coiffed, weepy, dog-owning, beyond-the-baby-years blog hostess must ready herself for Holy Mass. 

Jesus is waiting.

Poetry Friday

I don't have a moment today to be poetic, but don't miss all the other great stuff out there.

The round up is at Biblio File.

Feast of St. Therese of Lisieux

"I force myself in vain to meditate on the mysteries of the rosary; I don't succeed in fixing my mind on them. For a long time I was desolate about this lack of devotion which astonished me, for I love the Blessed Virgin so much that it should be easy for me to recite in her honor prayers which are so pleasing to her. Now I am less desolate; I think that the Queen of heaven, since she is my Mother, must see my good will and she is satisfied with it."
 ~~ St. Therese of Lisieux