tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17019672.post504389495728356725..comments2024-03-25T02:43:49.115-05:00Comments on Karen Edmisten: A Good Catholic FamilyKaren Edmisten http://www.blogger.com/profile/04446214835142625161noreply@blogger.comBlogger57125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17019672.post-66498382088031284752017-04-24T19:42:20.606-05:002017-04-24T19:42:20.606-05:00Oh, Ashley, I am so sorry for your many losses! It...Oh, Ashley, I am so sorry for your many losses! It breaks my heart. There is nothing selfish about you and your beautiful family. What a terrible year you've had...my deepest sympathies. I'm glad you found your way here, if only to help you feel a little less alone. Hugs!Karen Edmisten https://www.blogger.com/profile/04446214835142625161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17019672.post-26377218011258893302017-04-24T13:34:10.688-05:002017-04-24T13:34:10.688-05:00Reading this and all the comments and just crying....Reading this and all the comments and just crying. Thank you for speaking out for those of us who long to have more children and are judged harshly by others. <br /><br />My story is that I have two sons with 2 miscarriages between them. Then 2 21 week stillbirths last year. The doctors have told me it's likely to happen again if I get pregnant and facing the end of my family building against my will has been so very hard. Add to that the message I grew up with that "just" having two kids is selfish and grieving the loss of my babies and it's been a hard year.<br /><br />This is a super old post but I'm grateful it was there when I googled small catholic family. ❤️Ashley // Our Little Apartmenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13452050735921065657noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17019672.post-26653968564297690362015-03-13T17:29:39.901-05:002015-03-13T17:29:39.901-05:00Kristi, thanks for taking the time to comment and ...Kristi, thanks for taking the time to comment and share your thoughts and your (at times painful) situation! I really appreciate it. Yes, we, too, have "looked like" one thing when we are something very different ... so good for all of to just keep trying to put judgements and speculation aside, and to just be kind to one another. :) <br /><br />My girls and I just came from seeing the new Cinderella -- "Have courage and be kind." :) Karen Edmisten https://www.blogger.com/profile/04446214835142625161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17019672.post-54997802831986144492015-03-13T15:42:27.919-05:002015-03-13T15:42:27.919-05:00What an excellent post! I learned of it (and you) ...What an excellent post! I learned of it (and you) from your recent appearance on the "Fountains of Carrots" podcast and I am now enjoying your blog! We experienced more than four years of infertility in the start of our marriage, with (I assume well-meaning) people asking when we were going to have kids, as if we were waiting for something (we weren't!). It was difficult to deal with on top of the pain of not actually getting pregnant, or knowing if it would ever happen. We have since been blessed with two wonderful children, but I know it's uncertain whether we'll be able to have more, because I am an "older" new-ish mom -- I wasn't that young when we married (and we weren't waiting there, either, I just didn't even meet my dear husband until my late 20s). So it does feel awkward sometimes at our lovely parish when it seems like there are many larger families, and the mothers with children my age are noticeably younger than I am. I think to someone who doesn't know us it could look like we were contracepting/delaying parenthood and then only wanted two children (neither of which are true). I wonder if we may experience this as our still-young children get older. Thank you for the crucial reminder to always be charitable to *everyone* regarding family size, larger or smaller.Kristihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11466471608463849747noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17019672.post-19720771005441106312014-10-25T08:48:49.039-05:002014-10-25T08:48:49.039-05:00Yes, timeless indeed, and thanks for your kind wor...Yes, timeless indeed, and thanks for your kind words. <br /><br />And I am so very sorry for the pain and the loss that you've experienced. Prayers for you!Karen Edmisten https://www.blogger.com/profile/04446214835142625161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17019672.post-264709052525291622014-10-25T00:29:24.614-05:002014-10-25T00:29:24.614-05:00Proving that this topic is really timeless - I nev...Proving that this topic is really timeless - I never read your post about this topic before I wrote one of my own entitled "Good Catholic Families". My perspective comes from primary infertility and recurring miscarriages, with no living children. That said - your post was well written and I was happy to see someone so very like-minded writing on this topic. God bless!Conceiving Hopehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03770621765962940873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17019672.post-72431908812976506072014-09-27T08:30:25.364-05:002014-09-27T08:30:25.364-05:00Amy, I am so sorry for your losses, and so sorry f...Amy, I am so sorry for your losses, and so sorry for the unkind comments and treatment you've been subjected to. I am still sometimes stopped cold by the coldness of some people. I want to pass your comment on to every priest and deacon I know, as a reminder that no one can presume that they know what's going on with a small family. <br /><br />Thanks for your kind words, and I'm grateful that the miscarriage book and this article were of some help and support. God bless you, and hold you and keep you, Amy. Karen Edmisten https://www.blogger.com/profile/04446214835142625161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17019672.post-22475664167712788312014-09-26T12:51:48.670-05:002014-09-26T12:51:48.670-05:00Karen, I know you posted this years ago, but I jus...Karen, I know you posted this years ago, but I just found it and wanted to thank you. I have two children with me here and nine in heaven. I remember being at daily mass with my kids a few months ago. We were leaving the chapel and walking behind a mom and her six kids. The deacon saw them and said, "Oh how wonderful, what a blessing your children are!" He looked at me and my two kids, turned away and said nothing. My heart broke. I sometimes feel that the clergy and the Church treat large families as being more holy or blessed than small families. It can be very lonely, especially as a homeschooling mom where the more kids you have the more you seem to be valued in the group and within the Church. Another homeschooling mom of six pointed to my children and said,"These aren't your only two?" I was so shocked, I almost couldn't speak. I wanted to say,"These are my everything two, not my only two." Thank you for your beautiful miscarriage book and for this post. I know God has a plan for each family and I trust in Him, but infertility/miscarriage is a lonely and difficult journey. I struggle with it often. Blessings to you and your family.Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07398317726723261522noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17019672.post-53752394495747469422014-07-24T20:03:04.772-05:002014-07-24T20:03:04.772-05:00Yes and amen to all of the above, Anonymous!
And...Yes and amen to all of the above, Anonymous! <br /><br />And I love Jim Gaffigan! :) Karen Edmisten https://www.blogger.com/profile/04446214835142625161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17019672.post-45481921198813853072014-07-24T14:51:36.262-05:002014-07-24T14:51:36.262-05:00Even mothers of large families have been through m...Even mothers of large families have been through miscarriages. Often we are treated as though we don't REALLY appreciate our children as much as those parents of only one, two, or three. Comedian Jim Gaffigan actually does a good bit on this. Everyone applauds when they hear you are pregnant. But say you are pregnant with number four and you are likely met with awkward silence. Or as he put it: "Well, that's one way to live your life."<br />People see my seven children and don't realize that each and every one of them was as much a miracle as the first. We went through four years of unexplained fertility before having children, and I had three miscarriages. So when you see that big family, know that it doesn't mean they are popping out babies like toast without overcoming trials. And being open to life often translates into being open to pregnancy complications, bed rest, medical bills, children with special needs, going without vacations or luxuries, having multiple kids sick at once, mountains of laundry, and rarely getting a full night's uninterrupted sleep. But God has chosen the right size family for each of us. He sees where we need to be pruned and tested.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17019672.post-62763335138166693182014-06-06T20:23:36.723-05:002014-06-06T20:23:36.723-05:00So much to be learned, indeed! It can be so easy t...So much to be learned, indeed! It can be so easy to fall into judging others... these reminders are good stuff. Loved your post! Karen Edmisten https://www.blogger.com/profile/04446214835142625161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17019672.post-79744803789534186302014-06-06T19:57:57.567-05:002014-06-06T19:57:57.567-05:00Thanks for sharing. So many of us have this blessi...Thanks for sharing. So many of us have this blessing/cross to bear. There is much to be learned!MrsF3http://www.mrsf3andfamily.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17019672.post-26625807037226626542014-05-29T10:26:51.247-05:002014-05-29T10:26:51.247-05:00Dear Anonymous, Catholic Mom of One, and Anonymous...Dear Anonymous, Catholic Mom of One, and Anonymous ... I have no words of wisdom, but please be assured of my prayers for all of you. Karen Edmisten https://www.blogger.com/profile/04446214835142625161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17019672.post-71323471726420645942014-05-28T10:18:48.727-05:002014-05-28T10:18:48.727-05:00Thank you for this. I am a practicing Catholic who...Thank you for this. I am a practicing Catholic who has undergone IVF but still believes she belongs in the Church, as do the many many other Catholics who have undergone fertility treatment or used birth control. We have secondary infertility and are blessed with one child who is five. We have been trying to have another child for over three and a half years. We went through four IVF treatments in the hopes of having a second child, but God did not give us a pregnancy. Again, I do know what the Catholic Church says about IVF. I prayed and prayed about it, and I believe God is always in control, even as we seek medical treatment. I am trying to discern what God wants for our family now. I was at peace with our decision to try IVF between my husband and me, and giving each embryo a chance for life. Now I must pray and discern to be at peace with what we do next. I am able to rule out IVF with donor eggs, which I think God has shown me is not ethical. (We have male infertility for which IVF is perhaps the only hope, but I don't respond well to the drugs.) I do not want to adopt, for several important reasons, nor do I want to adopt an embryo. My strong desire to carry, birth and nurse another child has finally dissipated and I am at last very happy. I feel so blessed, even blessed with this secondary infertility. But I am still praying about it because I don't want to make this decision out of selfishness. I worry I am too attached to material things and my peaceful life (well, since our last failed IVF only one month ago it has been peaceful!) and this is why I don't want to make this huge effort - adoption - to have more children. It is so hard to know. Following God is never easy. I can only give it time as I discern, although for adoption time is never on your side, it seems.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17019672.post-17200803149147790512014-05-28T10:17:43.848-05:002014-05-28T10:17:43.848-05:00Thank you for this. I am a practicing Catholic who...Thank you for this. I am a practicing Catholic who has undergone IVF but still believes she belongs in the Church, as do the many many other Catholics who have undergone fertility treatment or used birth control. We have secondary infertility and are blessed with one child who is five. We have been trying to have another child for over three and a half years. We went through four IVF treatments in the hopes of having a second child, but God did not give us a pregnancy. Again, I do know what the Catholic Church says about IVF. I prayed and prayed about it, and I believe God is always in control, even as we seek medical treatment. I am trying to discern what God wants for our family now. I was at peace with our decision to try IVF between my husband and me, and giving each embryo a chance for life. Now I must pray and discern to be at peace with what we do next. I am able to rule out IVF with donor eggs, which I think God has shown me is not ethical. (We have male infertility for which IVF is perhaps the only hope, but I don't respond well to the drugs.) I do not want to adopt, for several important reasons, nor do I want to adopt an embryo. My strong desire to carry, birth and nurse another child has finally dissipated and I am at last very happy. I feel so blessed, even blessed with this secondary infertility. But I am still praying about it because I don't want to make this decision out of selfishness. I worry I am too attached to material things and my peaceful life (well, since our last failed IVF only one month ago it has been peaceful!) and this is why I don't want to make this huge effort - adoption - to have more children. It is so hard to know. Following God is never easy. I can only give it time as I discern, although for adoption time is never on your side, it seems.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17019672.post-30305378602992599242013-11-02T15:53:07.721-05:002013-11-02T15:53:07.721-05:00I am a little late in responding to this as well, ...I am a little late in responding to this as well, but I cannot resist. I came across your blog and thought I would share my story. I am a recent convert to Catholicism-its been 1 1/2 years now. I was raised in a christian home (baptist, methodist, non-denominational) and married a catholic. Before I became a catholic we went through IVF to concieve our son who is now 6 years old. I thought and prayed long and hard and felt okay with how we went about it (no excess embryos created so none were destryed in the process). My husband is the one with fertility issue not me (yes I know it is "our" issue but technically he is the one). I always wanted a large family but now I am catholic, and 40 so its looking unlikely that will happen. <br />I am an enthusiastic catholic and love learning more about the faith. I would like to have more catholic friends but it is nearly impossible to find anyone who has only one child. It does not help that my son goes to a catholic school where all the moms have atleast 6 or more kids. I love the school, and I love being catholic, but this aspect of it does indeed make me feel lonely, and I wonder how it will affect my son as well. <br />I know God has our family in the palm of his hand and my son is the best thing that has ever happened to me or my husband. <br />-Lonely Catholic Mom of One Catholic Mom of Onehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00729303944663425752noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17019672.post-26735166374736776272013-10-29T08:04:00.507-05:002013-10-29T08:04:00.507-05:00We have two precious babies in heaven and none on ...We have two precious babies in heaven and none on earth. As a young Catholic couple it is so hard to be surrounded by friends with their growing families, friends who have had no trouble conceiving, even conceiving by "accident." We never dreamed that this would be the cross we would bear. It is sometimes unbearable. Thank you for this article.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17019672.post-44410455083005055292013-10-05T08:10:07.562-05:002013-10-05T08:10:07.562-05:00Carol, we Catholics neither worship nor idolize Ma...Carol, we Catholics neither worship nor idolize Mary. We do accord her the respect that is due to the mother of our Lord. And we completely agree with and accept the Scriptures that tell us that Jesus Christ is the Way, the Truth and the Life. <br /><br />Thanks for stopping by. Karen Edmisten https://www.blogger.com/profile/04446214835142625161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17019672.post-63522843038658071582013-10-03T15:32:43.206-05:002013-10-03T15:32:43.206-05:00Jesus said,"I am the way, the truth and the l...Jesus said,"I am the way, the truth and the life, no man cometh unto the Father but by me". Why is Mary being idolized?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17998043080858747073noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17019672.post-32494937275671570242013-10-03T15:30:41.781-05:002013-10-03T15:30:41.781-05:00Jesus says,He is the way, the truth and the life a...Jesus says,He is the way, the truth and the life and no man can come to the father (God) except by Him. Why is Mary being worshipped?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17998043080858747073noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17019672.post-7339682518651220842013-09-11T21:40:26.499-05:002013-09-11T21:40:26.499-05:00Anne, I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you fo...Anne, I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for taking the time to comment here ... I so appreciate that. God bless you! Karen Edmisten https://www.blogger.com/profile/04446214835142625161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17019672.post-5508523469450700742013-09-11T20:39:29.961-05:002013-09-11T20:39:29.961-05:00Just saw this today, linked from another blogger. ...Just saw this today, linked from another blogger. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I also just finished your book "After Miscarriage" after an ectopic pregnancy and several years of infertility. Thank you truly. Annenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17019672.post-67874205034637414102013-09-04T12:26:08.877-05:002013-09-04T12:26:08.877-05:00Amy, thank you for the kind words. Yes, there'...Amy, thank you for the kind words. Yes, there's so much we don't see ... so important that we just keep trying to be Christ to others .... Blessings to you!Karen Edmisten https://www.blogger.com/profile/04446214835142625161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17019672.post-32919025558247680762013-09-04T08:44:36.200-05:002013-09-04T08:44:36.200-05:00This is very thoughtful and really struck a deep c...This is very thoughtful and really struck a deep cord within me. I recently found out a friend who had no trouble conceiving but then went more than ten years of infertility is pregnant again! I have also known others who suffered terrible miscarriages that nearly killed them. But these are things that not everyone knows. They just assume things... I am sharing this! God bless Karen, you are amazing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17019672.post-12903339217591062932013-02-18T06:33:51.618-06:002013-02-18T06:33:51.618-06:00Dear Anon,
You have a lot of prayer support from ...Dear Anon, <br />You have a lot of prayer support from Heaven! :) Praying for you, and I agree that it's always fruitful to look toward the Blessed Mother ... she was given a particular circumstance, and so was I. Embracing it is key. Karen Edmisten https://www.blogger.com/profile/04446214835142625161noreply@blogger.com