Karen Edmisten

Atticus Helps Me Keep Poetry Friday Afloat

2012-01-27T08:20:00.003-06:00

Atticus sends me all kinds of links, but who doesn't love a man who sends poetry?

I've been so busy with stuff-stuff-stuff -- writing projects, fun with Ramona while her big sisters were out of town, cooking for those big sisters when they got home (after six days of road food they were ready for something fresh out of an oven), cleaning (which is, as Erma Bombeck once said, "like stringing beads without a knot"), and homeschool stuff/reading stuff/planning stuff -- that I have neglected my poor little blog and nearly let Poetry Friday slip by unnoticed.

Atticus to the rescue. (He saved me last week and a couple weeks before that, too.)

This week he sent me this gem: "Winter Twilight" by Anne Porter. (You remember Anne Porter -- I've written about her before.)

Go ahead and click over to the poem now. You have time. It's all of five lines.

These five little lines bring to mind the winter nights here. When I run the dog outside for her last backyard break before bed, I breathe in the cold, Nebraska air, take in the starry night and think, "If I didn't have a dog, I wouldn't be out here at 11:00 at night. I'd be all Woody Allenish, quoting him from the comfort of my couch, saying, 'I am two with nature.' So, this dog business is a very good thing."

"Winter Twilight" is, then, a tidy package of love for my husband, gratitude for my dog, appreciation of nature and awe in the face of Anne Porter.

And let's not forget The Writer's Almanac.

On the same day they ran this poem, they also noted the birthdays of W. Somerset Maugham (who wrote The Razor's Edge, a book that affected me greatly when I was spiritually searching, and who said, "To acquire the habit of reading is to construct for yourself a refuge from almost all the miseries of life."), Scottish poet Robert Burns (I have only to hear the name to have the Scottish blood in me stir), and Virginia Woolf (whose A Room of One's Own also greatly affected me when I was young).

So, huzzah for The Writer's Almanac and Atticus. Poetry Friday lives!

~~~~~~~~~~

Hey! The round up today is at Hey, Jim Hill!

Head Over to Simcha's Right Now to Win a Book

2012-01-26T08:34:00.000-06:00

Remember the book of which I am one-tenth?

Simcha's giving away two copies of Style, Sex, and Substance. She wrote the chapter on motherhood, I wrote the chapter on spiritual strength, and the other writers are:

Jennifer Fulwiler on “Who is the modern Catholic woman?”

Rachel Balducci on friendship

Annie Mitchell on the single life

Rebecca Teti on work

Hallie Lord on style, beauty and balance

Betty Duffy on sex

Danielle Bean on marriage

Barbara Nicolosi on engaging the culture

Run over there and enter!

And stay tuned here, as I'll be hosting a giveaway down the road, too.

Poetry Friday

2012-01-20T07:46:00.002-06:00

Atticus sent this link the other day, and it seems an appropriate pick for Poetry Friday, with our daughters on the road.

The poem -- "Rest" by Richard Jones -- begins like this:

It's so late I could cut my lights
and drive the next fifty miles
of empty interstate
by starlight,
flying along in a dream,
countryside alive with shapes and shadows,

and moves into considering this:

This was before
I had children of my own,
and had felt the sharp edge of love
and anxiety whenever I tiptoed
into darkened rooms of sleep
to study the small, peaceful faces
of my beloved darlings. Now,
the fatherly feelings are so strong
the snoring truckers are lucky
I'm not standing on the running board,
tapping on the window,
asking, Is everything okay?

The only part I'm afraid I can't relate to is the later mention in the poem of country music. Even on a long road trip, I can't embrace country music. Unless Patsy Cline sings "Crazy." I can do that. I live in a funny part of the country to be unable to embrace country music, but there you have it. My Friday confession.

And so, here I sit on a Friday, thinking of my daughters, off traveling* the country, wanting to tap on their window and ask, "Is everything okay?" I'm hoping they aren't forced to listen to any country music, and I'm thinking of their astonishingly excellent father. He will tap on my metaphorical window over the next few days, in our relatively quiet house, and ask, "Is everything okay?"

And it is.

Children grow up, and we embrace new ways of being. We adopt new ways of moving through our days. As the poem says:

Nothing for me to do on this road
but drive and give thanks

~~~~~~~~~~

Read all of "Rest" here, at The Writer's Almanac.

The Poetry Friday round up is at Wild Rose Reader.

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* Updated to note: Ramona is still home, so our place isn't entirely quiet. But in comparison to an average day with teens, well ....

Bits and Pieces of Our Days

2012-01-19T22:30:00.001-06:00

* When I last did a Bits & Pieces post, my kitchen counter was messy. A percentage of the messiness was the huge project in which Anne-with-an-e and Betsy were immersed. Their play -- a musical performed by the parish youth choir and written/directed by Anne and Betsy and their two best friends, Sarah and Mary -- came off beautifully last weekend.

The week leading up to it featured last-minute costume runs, and some final T-shirt prep:

We also ran around town to a couple of different radio stations so that Betsy and one of the stars of the show could participate in interviews. Much fun.

Performance day arrived on Sunday. The choir was in top form, we had a great, big crowd, a terrific pre-show (a magician who still has me scratching my head over his Houdini thing), and lots of pizza, good company, and chatting afterward. If I do say so myself, "Bible Bound: The Ultimate Journey" was a musical of Biblical proportions. I'm so proud of my girls (and my other two girls, Sarah and Mary) for taking on this project. We're so blessed to have an amazing liturgy director who had faith in the girls when he asked them to take this production on.

* We've also been busy getting the girls ready for a big pilgrimage. They took off today and we now have a rather quiet household. Ramona and I have a few Mommy-Daughter projects planned since she has me all to herself for a few days. Are Barbies in my future? Maybe I can just talk her into a long walk and then ply her with chocolate.

* Anne-with-an-e is loving her community college Spanish class. She's not used to this thing called "homework" but she loves learning the language. Ramona, however, still can't get used to the phrase, "Anne's at school, remember?"

* Pizza Fondue was recently a hit here. I highly recommend it for a quick and tasty meal.

* Recently the subject of Daniel Radcliffe came up. Both Betsy and Anne think he's exceedingly adorable but Betsy pointed out that she could never truly love someone who doesn't love cake. I think I'm raising them right.

I Have a New Book! And It's Available For Pre-order ...

2012-01-16T15:57:00.001-06:00

My newest book will be published soon, but it's available for pre-order right now at Amazon.

You can head over there to find After Miscarriage: A Catholic Woman's Companion to Healing and Hope.

Each one of my books has been, in its own way, personal -- hey, let's face it, anyone who knows me knows I can barely tap out an email without getting personal -- but obviously, having experienced five miscarriages myself, this book occupies a special part of my soul and my psyche. These are words I've wanted to share with and offer to other women for a long time.

Here's a small glimpse into the book -- some reviews/endorsements:

Lisa M. Hendey, founder of CatholicMom.com and author of A Book of Saints for Catholic Moms, said:

"For every soul who has felt the loss of life through miscarriage or the absence of hope that accompanies infertility, After Miscarriage by Karen Edmisten offers a wellspring of grace. Filled with both the voices of those who have experienced this sacrificial love and helpful resources full of practical insights, Karen's book will be a gift of compassion and healing for many."

Kate Wicker, author of Weightless: Making Peace With Your Body, wrote:

"Any mother who has suffered the loss of a miscarriage knows just how empty her arms and heart can feel. When I lost my first baby, it felt as if my insides had been scooped out, leaving nothing behind but a sun-scraped void -- if only I’d had a resource like After Miscarriage: A Catholic Woman's Companion to Healing and Hope to help me to fill my emptiness. Karen Edmisten has written a wise and beautiful book that delivers just what the title says. This gentle companion gifts hurting mothers and their loved ones with both practical and spiritual wisdom to help them find hope and healing in the wake of a great loss. After Miscarriage is a must-read for anyone who has been touched by miscarriage and would also be a valuable guide for someone who is seeking to minister to a mother who has lost a baby.

In this treasure of a book, Catholic convert Karen Edmisten not only shares her own experience with multiple miscarriages -- including personal entries from her journal that are so filled with honesty, hurt, anguish, and hope, they read like prayerful Psalms -- but she includes stories from other women who have lost babies. These women’s unique voices delicately probe the myriad emotions the loss of a miscarriage brings to a mother and her family. Their honest words beautifully convey the ache-all-over kind of longing for a child they will never know on this earth as well as reveal the glimmer of God’s hope that shines through the suffering. By sharing their pain, Edmisten and her contributors give other women permission to mourn their babies in a world that might discount a tiny, new life. This deeply moving account of loss, suffering, grace, and redemption has the power to open the door of the reader’s soul to God and His healing grace."

And, from Donna-Marie Cooper O'Boyle, author of numerous books:

"This lovely and sorely needed book will powerfully and tenderly touch your soul with abiding comfort and blessing. I highly recommend it for mothers who have miscarried, family members, priests, deacons, Religious, Catholic medical staff, and those in ministry."

After Miscarriage, published by Servant Books, will start shipping/arrive on bookshelves on February 13th.

On the radio tomorrow

2012-01-16T09:06:00.000-06:00

I'll be on Morning Air with Sean Herriott tomorrow morning (Tuesday, January 17) at 8:40 a.m. central time, chatting about family, and faith, and a new book I have coming out next month. More on that later today!

If you can't tune in locally, join us tomorrow morning online via the Relevant Radio link on this page.

Poetry Friday: The Joy of Books

2012-01-13T12:29:00.000-06:00

No poem today, just some book love.

(Tip of the hat to Maria Ruiz Scaperlanda):

The Poetry Friday round up is at A Teaching Life.

Quotes for a Thursday

2012-01-12T05:28:00.001-06:00

from Through the Year With Mary, January 12:

"I force myself in vain to meditate on the mysteries of the Rosary; I don't succeed in fixing my mind on them. For a long time I was desolate about this lack of devotion which astonished me, for I love the Blessed Virgin so much that it should be easy for me to recite in her honor prayers which are so pleasing to her. Now I am less desolate; I think that the Queen of heaven, since she is my Mother, must see my good will and she is satisfied with it."

~~ St. Therese of Lisieux

A great saint admitted her struggles with prayer; pray for me to humbly persevere, Mary, just as the Little Flower did.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From Charlotte's Web (which I'm reading aloud with Ramona), on Wilbur's plans for the day:

"From three to four, he planned to stand perfectly still, and think of what it was like to be alive, and to wait for Fern."

Book Highlights: A Few From 2011

2012-01-11T08:56:00.000-06:00

In no particular order of importance:

~~ 2011 was the year I discovered Connie Willis, thanks to some friends. Blackout, All Clear and Doomsday Book were the ones I dove into. I had some frustrations with her repetitious style, but ultimately enjoyed them all. Of the three books (though Blackout and All Clear are really one story) I loved Doomsday Book the most. Fr. Roche was a beautiful and noble priest.

~~ The Penderwicks at Point Mouette and A Homemade Life were both mentioned in this post last summer.

The Penderwicks have become Edmisten family friends. Long may they live on our bookshelves.

A Homemade Life managed to change one of our Christmas traditions. We always make a birthday cake but this was the year that we used the Winning Hearts and Minds Chocolate Cake recipe. We found it fitting -- Jesus has won our hearts and minds, and a cake like this is nothing if not proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

~~ I Remember Nothing by Nora Ephron. She makes me laugh. I like to laugh, and I need to laugh. By some weird algorithm, I apparently need Nora Ephron.

~~ Read Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban to Ramona. (I don't need to link to anything regarding that book, do I? You've heard of it?) Pure fun to share it with her and see the story unfolding through her eyes.

~~ Attachments, by Rainbow Rowell. Utter delight. Reviewed here.

~~ A Little Princess with Ramona. A different kind of utter delight. Ditto for Trumpet of the Swan.

~~ The Forgotten Garden by Kate Morton. Recommended by my sister and a friend. A book to escape with at the end of a day. A puzzler, fun to sort out and guess about.

~~ The Provence Cure for the Broken Hearted, by Bridget Asher, aka Julianna Baggott. Sweet, touching, a bit magical and romantic. The story is not afraid to take us on a real trek through grief (the main character has lost her husband and is trying to move on with her young son.) Ultimately hopeful, a portrayal of coming out on the other side of pain. Lovely.

~~ Parched by Heather King, followed as quickly as I could get my hands on it by her Redeemed. (Soon to be followed by Shirt of Flame: A Year with St. Therese of Lisieux, courtesy of Atticus, Amazon, and Christmas presents.)

What's that you say? The rest of the world has already read Heather King and I am, as always, roughly seventeen steps behind the rest of the cosmos? Okay, fine. If you want to get technical, yes. That's true. But the following point remains: she is an astonishingly good writer. Loved reading her. Nodded my head too often, thinking, "That could have been me. Oooh, that one was me. Oh, that could've been me if I hadn't gotten out of there ..." She writes about beauty, chaos, confusion (past and ongoing), grace, and mystery. So glad I'm only seventeen steps behind, not a-hundred-and-seventeen.

~~ Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us by Daniel Pink. Loved it so much. Fascinating, and fits so neatly with my own philosophies about education, work, goals, and motivation.

Countdown to Downton

2012-01-08T19:18:00.003-06:00

41 minutes.

Monday -- Updated to note:

My reactions in the comments. Spoiler warning!

I copied the comment I just left over at GeekMom, with Lissa's discussion. Might be easier to discuss it over there, rather than here, there and everywhere, but leave a comment here if you like!

Updated again to add:

Discussion at By Sun and Candlelight, too!

Poetry Friday and a reflection about my husband and daughters

2012-01-06T06:00:00.106-06:00

Atticus sent me the link to this poem yesterday. Coincidentally, just yesterday morning, I was gazing at a set of pictures -- three snapshots, lined up, one atop the other -- on the wall in front of my desk. Pictures of my daughters. They are each about three months old. They are wearing the same dusty pink and white outfit, passed down from one sister to another, as if they simply slipped it neatly down the stack of photographs.

These girls and their father are the reasons I do everything I do. I love to look up from my work and see my daughters, and remember when they slept on the couch in the dusty pink of a late afternoon. And I think of the shoulders of the man who carried them across streets and sheltered them from gales when they were tiny and delicate, dreaming dreams they were too young to whisper.

How I love the man who gave me these children, these pictures, these memories. I love the links he sends me, and I love the way we share a wish for a world in which (go read the end of the poem) the rain will stop falling.

Anne-with-an-e

Betsy

Ramona

Shoulders
by Naomi Shihab Nye

A man crosses the street in rain,
stepping gently, looking two times north and south,
because his son is asleep on his shoulder.

No car must splash him.
No car drive too near to his shadow.

This man carries the world's most sensitive cargo
but he's not marked.
Nowhere does his jacket say FRAGILE,
HANDLE WITH CARE.

His ear fills up with breathing.
He hears the hum of a boy's dream
...
(Read the rest of the poem here, at The Writer's Almanac.)

~~~~~~~~~~~

The Poetry Friday roundup is at Teaching Authors this week.

And, you can find the upcoming Poetry Friday schedule -- January through June! -- in the sidebar at A Year of Reading.

Books, Glorious Books!

2012-01-05T00:00:00.000-06:00

Booklists abound in Blogland! This makes me beatifically happy!

Jen Fulwiler asked a number of bloggers, including moi, to recommend "just one book" for 2012. Find her compilation of recommendations here at the National Catholic Register, along with plenty of other suggestions in the combox.

The seventh edition of "Best Books I Read" is up at Ignatius Insight. Funny: I found the Ignatius list in its first year of existence (2006) when I was new to blogging. I shared my list of books read in 2005 and -- no surprise -- the recommendation I gave to Jen for this year was on the '05 list, too. I meant it when I said that I "turn and return" to the spiritually evergreen Abandonment to Divine Providence.

Happy Catholic's list is here.

My pal Lissa blogged about her 2011 books here.

Here is Mental Multivitamin's list of books read in 2011.

And -- oooh! Possibly the mother lode! -- Go visit Semicolon to overdose on booklists.

A Beautiful New Book From Josephine Nobisso

2012-01-02T20:43:00.004-06:00

I've mentioned Josephine Nobisso a number of times, starting here (wherein I talk about The Weight of a Mass -- if you haven't read that one, go buy a copy right now for every child you know who will be receiving First Holy Communion this spring), and then here, when I reviewed Take It to the Queen. I mentioned her again here, and here you'll see that Josephine was kind enough to endorse my book, Through the Year With Mary (in which I included a couple of quotes from Take It to the Queen.)

Now, Gingerbread House Publishing has a new offering: Francis Woke Up Early:

Every bit as beautiful as Josephine's previous works (of which I'm a huge fan), this jewel is illustrated by Maureen Hyde, an American painter who also lives and works in Italy.

The story is gentle and lovely, and the paintings immediately transported us to gorgeous Assisi. This book is a bit of a respite, an escape from the noisy world -- an imaginative immersion into beauty, love, and saintly goodness.

Highly recommended.

On the Eighth Day Of Christmas, My Blog Said To Me, "You Never Call, You Never Write ..."

2012-01-01T17:29:00.002-06:00

We've been, as Bob Cratchit said, making rather merry.

I love the Octave of Christmas, and a full Twelve Days of celebration, and the repeated enjoyment of new gifts.

I love all the time we get to spend with Atticus, and I love all the feast days of Advent and Christmas.

And I love my poor, neglected blog and plan to get back to really, actually writing something on it soon. Time to talk about upcoming school plans, and books we read in 2011, books we want to read in 2012...

Soon!

Post-Christmas Guilt. Or Not.

2011-12-27T10:29:00.000-06:00

On Christmas day, as the dog blissfully gnawed and slobbered on a gargantuan rawhide bone, I walked into my bedroom and saw the cat cozily napping on my bed. I felt a little bad that we didn't get him a present. For about three seconds. Because then I remembered -- as I looked at him owning that bed -- that his whole life is a present.

Except, of course, when Ramona has dressed him in this:

Unto Us A Child Is Born

2011-12-25T15:10:00.001-06:00

(Caravaggio's Nativity)

Merry
Christmas!

Poetry Friday: One From Ramona

2011-12-23T09:41:00.001-06:00

Happy Poetry Friday, and Merry Eve of Christmas Eve!

Here's a little gift from Ramona -- a poem she wrote the other day. She wanted to send something to Highlights Magazine, so she plopped down at the coffee table with pencil and paper and, minutes later, said, "Here, Mommy!"

Off it went to Highlights, and now it is winging its way to you.

(photo thanks to stock.xchng)

Birds
by Ramona

Bluebirds with wings so bright,
you fill the world with light.

When you fly, I feel I can, too,
and soar up in the clouds with you.

And maybe even eat a cloud.
Just one.
That would be fun.

~~~~~~~~

Plenty of other writing going on around here lately, too. I've got a couple of projects going. Though Betsy is relieved to be finished with NaNoWriMo, she's at work on two new stories. And Anne-with-an-e is working on something (story? novel? She's not sure...) about a deadly virus (which is right up her biological alley.) On top of all that, though I've horribly neglected our Writing With the Kids blog, we are still doing the annual Christmas Fan Fiction Challenge. We'll be reading our compositions to each other tomorrow night, over dinner.

~~~~~~~~

The Poetry Friday roundup today is at Dori Reads.

The People We Love Are God's Way of Saying We Are Not in Control

2011-12-21T07:52:00.002-06:00

ImageChef.com

Because I don't like to panic, I try to get things done at a sane pace during Advent. My husband has not always shared my perspective. It's not that he likes to panic, but he does tend to do certain things at the last minute.

For years now -- decades, really -- he's been scheduling certain Adventy things on, oh, about December 24th. No matter how much I planned ahead in order to have it be a low-stress day, he always had some last-minute shopping to do, or all of his gift wrapping, or ... you get the picture.

And so, each and every Christmas I'm reminded that I'm not really in control of my whole world. (Ummm, well, I actually get that reminder far more often than once a year, but for now we'll stick with the Christmas theme.)

Kids are great for reinforcing this cheery holiday message, too. They can turn everything into a teachable moment, like the year my daughter started throwing up just as our Christmas guests arrived.

The other day, I was working out and watching an old Thirtysomething. Ellyn, Hope's Friend Who Had Commitment Issues, was lamenting her confused life and envying Hope's perfect one. Hope vented back that life was crazy, that she had no idea what she was doing as a parent, her in-laws were nuts, the mortgage was scary, the house was falling apart, and nothing was ever really easy.

"Hope," said Ellyn, clearly taken aback by the shipwreck of Hope's life, "how can you live like that?"

"Lynnie," said Hope, also taken aback that Ellyn didn't get it, "that's love."

Love makes us change our schedules and our plans. Love interrupts long-term goals, dreams, and visions. Love wraps presents at the last minute, throws up as a car pulls into your driveway, turns you into a woman you never thought you'd be and humbles us. Love reminds us that we are not in control.

Love came to us two-thousand years ago, and He comes to us still. When He came to me, I lost all semblance of control over my life. I said yes to things I never thought I'd do, and embraced ideas I used to think were crazy.

"Karen," you might ask, "how can you live like that?"

"How can I not?" I'd reply in disbelief, "that's Love."

Everything That Rises Must Converge

2011-12-19T11:50:00.002-06:00

It's funny how things come together.

Yesterday, we were running late for Mass, which doesn't actually happen often, though that's not really due to any particular virtue on my part. It's just that I sort of have Sunday morning down to a science. I can tell you exactly how long it takes a teenage girl to wash her hair, the number of minutes required for a nine-year-old to read the comics, the way a husband can get ready so quickly that his grooming time needn't even be factored in.

But, occasionally, even though everyone is awake on schedule and the shower routine is cycling nicely, something happens to upset the science.

Yesterday we all seemed to be teetering on a precipice. Ramona was in a bad mood. Maybe I would have been, too, if I were nine years old, growing at an alarming rate, shooting out of all my clothes, especially my favorite dresses. My mood followed suit and between our battling sensibilities, it took awhile to figure out something Ramona could wear to Mass. Soon we were out the door, but later than usual, and on the way to Mass we got held up at a train crossing.

Minutes ticked by. Two. Three. Five.

"This," I announced to my daughters, "is why you never judge anyone for walking into Mass late. You never know why someone is late, and in the end, it's none of our business."

We were indeed late. We walked into the church during the first hymn, fumbled around to find a seat, and that's the way our day started.

Short fuses continued into the afternoon. Shots were fired at the slightest provocation. Moods shifted from So-So to Meh to GETAWAYFROMMENOW. Was it the fact that within the last week, at various times, we'd all gotten to confession? Why is a clean soul so susceptible to attack? One would think or hope it might be the opposite, that a soul after cleansing is that much stronger, full of grace. And yet, in my experience, the days just after a confession feel like a minefield.

Two things, though, yesterday that I loved about our pastor:

One was that his homily focused on who we are. Not what we do, how we make our living, or the sum of our sins. In the end, we are each, he stressed, beloved sons and daughters of God. That is our identity. And that is a stupendously simple and spot on reminder in this season of Advent. Everything should flow from that.

Second, his note in the bulletin was lovely, too. He said that he finds it both amusing and a relief to think about how much we all share the same struggles. (Yes and yes.) He used the example of envying how well-behaved someone else's children are at Mass, or how other people seem to have everything figured out and are perpetually serene. I've been on both sides of this -- feeling like the only horrid mother who just had a fight with her daughter over Mass clothing (a fight about clothes, for heaven's sake!? Before I head off to receive the Lord's Body?) and being on the other end, having someone think I have it All-Together-All-The-Time (which I most certainly, clearly-most-sincerely do not.)

We are not, as Father reminded us, alone.

In my own words, I'm not special enough to be the only one with my problems.

And so, as I move through this final week of Advent, I am contemplating the ways in which we, beloved sons and daughters of God all, will keep making our mistakes, but we can -- we must -- keep rising, striving, moving upward together.

"Be kind -- everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

~~ Rev. John Watson

From the Inbox

2011-12-18T15:14:00.000-06:00

Remember Jen Fulwiler's "Our Father" series? (I had "Name.") Jen kindly rounded up links to all the posts in the series. You can find them here, at Conversion Diary.

~~~~~~~~~~

Wonderful author of wonderful Weightless, Kate Wicker, will be the keynote speaker at the Behold Conference, March 10, 2012, in Peoria, IL. Not sure yet if I can make it, but I'm hoping to possibly swing it. Are you going?

~~~~~~~~~~

I mentioned Good Counsel Homes last year -- they now have a new Facebook page -- take a look to find out more about all the good work they do to help homeless and single pregnant women and their children. Their website is here. They do beautiful work and also offer post-abortion counseling.

~~~~~~~~~~

Homeschool Connections has a special offer right now. Maureen Wittman says:

... we offer a "Subscription Service" for recorded classes. It's only $1 to try it out for 7 days and then it's just $30 a month after that. There's no long term commitment -- parents keep it as long or as little as they need it. Because our live classes are converted to the Subscription Service once they're completed, it's getting to be a better and better deal every day. We're up to 70+ courses!

The big news is that we're offering a yearly rate now. For only $330 you can get a full year of unlimited recorded classes ...

However, it's hard for people to make that kind of commitment without really knowing what they're getting into. So, we're offering one of our recorded courses completely free from now until December 30, 2012 -- Mr. Campbell's Modern American History course.

Find out more about the history class and the special offer here.

~~~~~~~~~~

Regina Doman's fairy tale novels are on Kindle -- go here for details.

Nancy Brown's A Study Guide for G.K. Chesterton's St. Francis of Assisi is on Kindle, too.

~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of Kindle, did you know that my book, Through the Year With Mary is available on Kindle now, too?

Poetry Friday: Thomas Merton

2011-12-16T08:10:00.001-06:00

I love Advent. Liturgically, it's the beginning of a new year, full of possibility.

Now is the time for new year resolutions. Advent ~~ pregnant with hope and promise, anticipation, and with the fear and trembling of working out our salvation while God is at work in us ~~ is precisely the right time to assess our spiritual lives. The liturgical calendar is a wise and gentle gift.

"Time falls like manna at the corners of the wintry earth," Fr. Merton says.

Time.

Time to slow down.

Time to savor what's been given us. Gifts. Crosses.

Time to pray about what is to come.

Time to pray about the way He came to us as a baby, the way He will come again in glory.

Time.

When we mentally connect "Time" and "Advent" we so often think, "There's not enough! There's no time! There's never enough time!"

Oh, but there is. Stop. Listen. Be still for awhile.

Today, a sublime poem from Merton:

Advent

by Thomas Merton

Charm with your stainlessness these winter nights,

Skies, and be perfect! Fly, vivider in the fiery dark, you quiet meteors,

And disappear.

You moon, be slow to go down,

This is your full!

The four white roads make off in silence

Towards the four parts of the starry universe.

Time falls like manna at the corners of the wintry earth.

We have become more humble than the rocks,

More wakeful than the patient hills.

(Read the whole poem here.)

Your Book Aunt has the round up today.

School Notes

2011-12-15T08:33:00.000-06:00

from ImageChef.com

We'll call it Zoom Schooling.

Ramona has been watching old clips of Zoom, at PBSKids.org and on YouTube. It's science, it's history, it's drama, it's cooking, it's art.

It's exhausting.

Yesterday, it occurred to me that I remembered feeling the slightest bit of relief when my older girls outgrew Zoom. I just couldn't keep up with it: "Let's make batteries from potatoes while we're creating three-layered popsicles while we're talking in Ubbi-Dubbi and mixing our own paints from materials found in our backyard! And then let's put on a show about all that stuff, and volunteer in our community to teach others how to put on the same show using only the power generated from potatoes!"

(Anne-with-an-e, by the way, can still speak fluent Ubbi-Dubbi. That amazes and frightens me.)

So. There seems to be a new project daily, not to mention the fact that I can't get "C'mon and Zoom, c'mon and Zoom, c'mon and Zoom, c'mon and Zoom and zoom, zoom, zooma, Zoom!" out of my head.

Add to that the nerdily lovable Happy Scientist (I've blogged about Robert Krampf many times before) and we currently have sugar crystals growing in the mud room while today I believe there's something on tap with butter.

Throw in lots of great Advent reading, and so far it's been a December to remember.

Pope Quotes Obscure Blogger From Nebraska

2011-12-12T09:08:00.000-06:00

Perhaps "quote" is too strong a word. Or, perhaps "quote" is, in fact, a lie.

However, it is true that Pope Benedict XVI, primarily known for being awesome, recently paraphrased blogging mom Karen Edmisten (albeit totally unbeknownst to him) regarding her "No-Panic Advent" series. Pope Awesome recently urged Christians worldwide to forget about the commercialism of the season and to focus on Jesus.

Edmisten concurs, and is only too glad to give the Holy Father credit for the idea.

"Oh, sure," she was quoted as saying when we recently caught up with her as she shirked Christmas shopping duties and simply ordered a few things online, "it's true that I'm actually the one who wrote the No-Panic Advent series, but I'm happy to credit the Pope with a better tag line and, overall, a better writing style. His whole take on it -- y'know, saying that true joy is 'born from the encounter with the living person of Jesus' -- is a bit more timeless and eloquent than my 'chill out, people' stuff. But, hey, we're both coming from the same place, right? I'm sure he'd agree, cuz he's awesome that way."

Edmisten concluded the interview saying she had to go, as she planned to spend the rest of the day not baking cookies. She also hoped to spend a little time convincing relatives that gift cards are not impersonal and evangelizing her neighbors regarding hot button issues such as how a lack of outdoor lighting does not have a direct correlation to one's faith life.

Pope says focus on Jesus, not pre-Christmas distractions

By David Kerr

Vatican City, Dec 11, 2011 / 01:30 pm (CNA/EWTN News).

- Pope Benedict XVI reminded Christians not to be dazzled by the shopping lights of the Advent season but to keep focused on the coming on Jesus Christ, the “true light of the world.” Christians should keep their eyes fixed on Christ so that “if, in fact, we persevere‘vigilant in prayer and rejoicing in praise,’ our eyes will be able to recognize in him the true light of the world that comes to enlighten our darkness.”...

Read the whole (true) story here.

Life and My Kitchen Counter

2011-12-09T09:21:00.001-06:00

(An explanation, of sorts, for the lack of any real blogging lately, including my neglect of Poetry Friday):

"Why is life always such a mess?" I said just a few minutes ago. "And my kitchen counter? Why are life and my kitchen counter always so messy?"

"You should use that as a title for your memoirs: Life and My Kitchen Counter," said Anne-with-an-e.

I love that girl.

Recent messiness is nothing of import -- more busy-messy than bad-messy, scary-messy, or tragic-messy. Not really messy, in the existential sense. Just messy-busy-messy. But, as long as I'm here, I'll take a moment to catch up with you on a few things, including a couple of recent Ramona Moments:

* You know Ramona's behind it when you can't find your wine charms. (She's been wearing them as earrings.)

* You know Ramona should have been born into a family more like the Magical Mrs. M's when this happens: Ramona and I recently entered Hobby Lobby and she stopped, held her hands out as if to become one with the store, breathed in the artsy, craftsy, potpourri-laden air and pronounced, "Ah. Yes. These ... these are my people."

What will I do with her?

* Betsy apparently inherited a bit of her father's Marine Corps essence. She, Anne and two of their friends are writers/directors/set designing-builders for the parish youth choir musical. The choir director recently commented that Betsy does her military heritage proud, and one of the little girls in the cast was heard to whisper breathlessly to a friend, "Miss Betsy is scary!" during a rehearsal. I went to observe yesterday, though, and she must be exerting the right combination of authority and affection for her charges -- one of the kids ran to her and delivered a sweet, spontaneous hug before she left. So cute.

Finally, the much-neglected Poetry Friday:

I got nothin', but there's a great round up happening over at Robyn Hood Black's place.

Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception of Mary

2011-12-08T12:08:00.001-06:00

"Because He was God, he could give his mother gifts not only before he was born of her, but before she was born herself. This is the meaning of the doctrine of the Immaculate Conception."

~~ F. J. Sheed

In creating a pure and perfect Mother, Lord, and in saving her before she was born, You gave us hope for what we can become.

"In her, the destinies of the world were to be reversed, and the serpent’s head bruised. In her was bestowed the greatest honor ever put upon any individual of our fallen race. God was taking upon Him her flesh, and humbling Himself to be called her offspring – such is the deep mystery!"

~~St. John Henry Cardinal Newman

In the midst of mystery, Lord, you give me something real and solid -- a mother to cling to.

(from Through the Year With Mary: 365 Reflections)

Happy Feast of St. Nicholas!

2011-12-06T10:04:00.001-06:00

So many thoughts, and so little time!

St. Nicholas visited, bringing socks and Christmas ornaments and chocolate and -- because he's a thoroughly modern saint -- movies and music.

Hope to be back later today to blog a little more about one of my favorite feast days.

Ramona's Gingerbread Version of the Ditto House

2011-12-03T16:49:00.004-06:00

Yesterday, Ramona decorated a graham cracker duo. She came up with this design:

If you haven't seen her inspiration for it, it was this:

See this link for original photo

Thought I was gonna die.

Despite all my grousing, we of course had a fun afternoon with our homeschooling friends, and the result was this beautiful gingerbread-and-graham-cracker-village:

Photo thanks to Johnna, because I forgot my camera again.

Next year: no complaining. I promise. When my kids say, "Building gingerbread houses is great!" I'll just say, "Ditto."

Did I Really Say, "I Can't Find My Candy Cane Cookie Cutter!"?

2011-12-01T08:50:00.000-06:00

I did.

There was a time in my life when, had you even hinted I'd one day own a candy cane cookie cutter, I would have snapped, "Is your brain made of candy canes? This is me."

But me is a mom, and moms metamorphose into all manner of things they pledged they'd never be. Like bakers of gingerbread for homemade houses.

Two years ago, I made homemade gingerbread houses for the first time ever in my entirely long life. (I think I have Magical Mrs. M. to thank for this new tradition though I use the concept of "thanks" loosely.) I got Gingerbread Back, remember? That year, I used paper templates like these and cut the pieces out by hand, thereby mangling them upon transfer to the cookie sheet until they mutated into something like this:

(Photo of the Krzywy Domek, thanks to Wikipedia.)

Then I got smart and bought this cookie cutter set and at the same time, due to some perfect alignment of the planets, discovered parchment paper. (Previously, I must've labored under some delusion that parchment paper was something only the Alton Browns of the universe could afford. Or perhaps it was willful ignorance. Who knew it was parked next to the foil?) Thank you cookie cutter people, and thank you parchment paper, and thank you red wine (note to self: have Atticus pick up wine on the way home tonight.)

Moving on to 2011: I can honestly say this is actually getting easy ... or, um, -er, anyway. Easier. Time consuming, yes, but no longer excruciating. (I'm sorry, beloved daughters-o-mine, it's true -- the first year was excruciating. Excruciating but fun? Yeah, that works.)

Last week we baked two houses and froze the pieces, and this week we baked one more, along with a couple of pans of gingerbread men (but no candy canes ... I cannot find my candy cane cookie cutter. There. I said it again.)

Ramona originally agreed to to do a graham cracker house, along with several of the other younger kids in our homeschool group. But then she asked if she could do a gingerbread church to add to our gingerbread village, and how could I say no to a church? It seemed like something I'd have to go to confession for. ("So then, Father, I told her no to the church, and she started to cry ... ")

So we baked a church. And more gingerbread men. And a noticeable lack of gingerbread candy canes. (But if anyone mutters so much as a word I'm going to resign my post.)

Other helpful links I should mention:

Here's a great photo-filled how-to for constructing graham cracker houses. (Scroll down for photos of completed projects ... I love the four-year-old's house. Perfectly cute and gloppy.)

Royal icing (aka sweet cement) recipe.

Alton Brown (nothing to do with gingerbread houses, just long-standing ~~obsession with~~ admiration for the man with whom I share a scorn for unitaskers.)

She Did It!

2011-11-28T22:30:00.000-06:00

Betsy finished!
NaNoWriMo!
She wrote 50,000 words in the last 28 days!

I am happy, happy for her.

The budding novelist was quoted as saying, "I love my characters, but I'm really sick of them right now." (Ooooh, it makes a writing mother proud. )

The First Sunday of Advent

2011-11-27T16:13:00.000-06:00

On our way to Mass on Sundays, we always talk about the readings for the day.

"You, LORD, are our father,
our redeemer you are named forever.
Why do you let us wander,
O LORD, from your ways,
and harden our hearts
so that we fear you not?"

~~ Isaiah 63:16-17

This morning I pointed out to the girls that the Old Testament passage we'd hear is so typical of us annoying humans -- blaming God for our wandering.

It wasn't part of today's reading, but in chapter 65 of Isaiah, the Lord has a pretty good comeback. He raises an eyebrow at our presumption and like any good parent, points out a few facts:

I was ready to respond to those who did not ask,
to be found by those who did not seek me.
I said: Here I am! Here I am!
To a nation that did not invoke my name.

I have stretched out my hands all day
to a rebellious people,
Who walk in a way that is not good,
following their own designs;

A people who provoke me
continually to my face ...

... Crying out, “Hold back,
do not come near me, lest I render you holy!”

That is admirable, cutting and extraordinarily effective sarcasm. He's not only the Lord of the universe but master of a tongue lashing.

He's good enough to make me hang my head, and, scuffing my shoe around on the floor (even as I vainly cling to the hope He's really talking to my brothers and sisters and not to me) whisper:

"Daddy, I'm sorry. Please do come near. Please do make me holy."

In That Case, I'll Call Myself a Morning Person, Too

2011-11-23T07:44:00.003-06:00

Ramona: "I am too a morning person! Just not an early-morning person."

I'm at Faith and Family Live Today

2011-11-21T08:08:00.002-06:00

saying thank you for all the things I get to do.

I Must Say ...

2011-11-20T23:43:00.002-06:00

... that I love hearing this at Mass, as we did this morning:

(Mozart's Alleluia)

I equally like turning to Atticus and saying, "Too many notes!" (though, of course, I don't mean it in the least. It's just fun to say.)

Quote for a Sunday

2011-11-20T07:03:00.000-06:00

“We cultivate a very small field for Christ, but we love it, knowing that God does not require great achievements but a heart that holds back nothing for self....

The truest crosses are those we do not choose ourselves....

He who has Jesus has everything.”

~~ St. Rose Philippine Duchesne

Bits and Pieces of Our Days

2011-11-19T20:58:00.001-06:00

Remember last year, when it was a good morning to cry? This morning, we had our second annual Holy Mass of Remembrance. Unfortunately, freezing rain and treacherous roads probably kept a number of people away, but it was a beautiful Mass, and a holy time. I'm grateful to our pastor for insuring that we keep making this Mass happen.

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Today's Trivia:

Q.: How do you know when Advent is just a week away?

A.: Ramona is regularly wearing the Christmas tree skirt. She is one stylin' little elf.

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Books read recently that I should write more about:

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

The Forgotten Garden by Kate Morton

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Thanks to a connection made through Suzie Andres, our family recently met the Treehouse Family. Elm and her RVing gang were in our area so quite obviously it made sense to meet. We spent part of the morning touring an egg farm and then we had lunch together. (They sweetly treated -- I hope I didn't sound needy when I tried to discreetly ask the waitress if they'd take an out-of-town check after I saw the "NO CREDIT CARDS" sign ... yeesh, I never carry cash ....) It was fun to see Elm's little girl and Ramona spend the entire lunch time talking books and I felt like Elm was a kindred spirit and an old friend. Both she and her husband were as sweet and kind as could be. It was a delightful day!

Poetry Friday: Books, by Billy Collins

2011-11-18T09:58:00.000-06:00

Books on my mind ...

a book I am writing,
a book I have written ...

books I've written in my head,
but may never write ...

a book my NaNoWriMo-ing
daughter is writing this month ...

books I've just read ...

the pile of books I want to read ....

Billy Collins talks about them all here -- the "low, gigantic chord of language."

Books
by Billy Collins

From the heart of this dark, evacuated campus
I can hear the library humming in the night,
a choir of authors murmuring inside their books
along the unlit, alphabetical shelves,
Giovanni Pontano next to Pope, Dumas next to his son,
each one stitched into his own private coat,
together forming a low, gigantic chord of language
....

(Read the whole thing here, at The Writer's Almanac.)

Tabatha has the Poetry Friday round-up at The Opposite of Indifference.

On the radio this morning

2011-11-17T07:47:00.000-06:00

... at 8:40 a.m. central time.

Listen online here, at the Relevant Radio website.

A No-Panic Advent: The Monstrously Long Post

2011-11-15T22:16:00.002-06:00

I first ran this series in 2008, reran it in 2009, didn't get it updated in 2010, but now have tidied it up a bit for this year. I hope it helps as you watch, wait and prepare for Jesus.

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Part I: Note some dates

It's the advent of Advent -- mark those dates on the calendar! You know it's the only way you'll remember anything!

Stuff that always goes on my calendar:

*The first Sunday of Advent (buy candles for wreath! Sometimes I have been so organized that I bought candles the previous year and packed them with the wreath, but I never know until I unpack the thing....)

*December 5: St. Nicholas Eve (extremely important that St. Nicholas not go to bed without remembering to do a few things first)

*December 6: St. Nicholas Day

*December 8: Immaculate Conception (Holy day of obligation!)

*December 12: Our Lady of Guadalupe

*December 13: St. Lucia

*December 17: O Antiphons begin

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If you haven't observed all these feast days in the past, do not -- I repeat, do not -- feel pressure to do it all. No one does it all.

You might want to pick one or two things on which to focus -- and then, have fun with them. These observances are meant to deepen our faith and draw us closer to God. Getting stressed out about how well we do this stuff, or about whether we do it at all, doesn't deepen our faith; it just irritates us.

God doesn't want us irritated in preparation for His Son. That would sort of defeat the purpose of the Prince of Peace, wouldn't it? Peaceful and meaningful preparation is key. No panic necessary ... just keep your eyes fixed on the Prince of Peace.

Part II: The Jesus Stocking

The Jesus stocking is something I started when Anne-with-an-e was very young. I was looking for ways to keep our Christmas focused on Jesus rather than all the (delightful and fun though they are) other trappings of the holiday.

It's a simple stocking (I keep thinking I should upgrade it to something worthy of our King, but on the other hand, I think perhaps He's pleased with the simplicity) and I used fabric paint to add His name.

What goes in the Jesus stocking? It can be whatever you like -- we've done it a couple of different ways.

Like the Thanksgiving Tree, each night at dinner, we all name something for which we're thankful. It's written on a small piece of paper, and added to the stocking. On Christmas day, it's fun to read all the blessings that were counted during Advent, from the littlest things (such as a tea party with Tigger), to grown-up concerns (such as being thankful that the car broke down in our driveway instead of twenty miles from home on a sub-zero day), to every-day-but-enormous joys (such as friendship, family and faith.) Here are some samples from years past:

Another idea for the Jesus stocking is to use it for corporal and spiritual works of mercy. Many of us are familiar with the idea of setting up a manger for baby Jesus and filling it with soft hay (we use yarn in a basket) in preparation for Christmas day.

The idea for the Jesus stocking is similar. Corporal and spiritual works of mercy, small sacrifices, kindnesses and prayers are recorded and dropped in the stocking as gifts for Jesus. Children are encouraged to fill Jesus's stocking with gifts throughout Advent.

For much of Advent, the Jesus stocking will be the only one hanging on the mantle (the small tree to the right is our Jesse Tree):

to remind us that He is at the center of the celebration to which we look forward with such joy. Surrounded by our favorite Advent books and calendars, this place of honor for the King is a constant reminder that what we anticipate in this season of hope is not a gift, but the Gift: our Lord and Savior.

Part III: The Jesse Tree

I call the Jesse Tree the "family scrapbook" because through its stories we learn about our spiritual family and salvation history.

This is probably one of the most "educational" Advent activities that we do. (Remember, though -- life is school, and school is life, so it's all educational .... ) I've always posted a small sign next to the tree (just in case my children forget what I'm educating them about -- not that my kids ever forget such things ....) The sign reads, "The Jesse Tree ... Finding Jesus in the Old Testament" and that's exactly what a Jesse Tree helps us do. It introduces us to the truth that Christianity is not a new idea, nor a religion dreamed up and perpetuated by a motley crew of fishermen and tax collectors. It is the fulfillment of God's story -- our story -- from the beginning of time.

Reading the Scriptures that lay the foundation for and point us to Jesus brings all those seemingly disconnected Bible stories together into a meaningful fabric, a tapestry of history that makes sense to even the youngest of children. When we compare it to a family's scrapbook, it becomes a metaphor children can easily understand. The symbols we hang on our tree are snapshots of the history of Jesus, which is our history, too.

We use ornaments made from salt dough (which has a tendency to break, so we've been through a couple sets of ornaments. Always fun to make new ones, though, so that's not a problem.) I used to keep the ornaments right under the tree, within easy reach for the daily reading and ceremonial hanging, but you may not want to do that if you have babies or toddlers. The reason I no longer keep them there is we now have a dog who finds salt dough to be a delicacy. For young kids, I recommend scheduling the ceremonial hanging in a basic, "No fighting - your turn will come tomorrow," rotation to avoid having fights break out.

I started using an old, small, artificial Christmas tree as our Jesse tree a few years ago. Before that, I dithered about, trying to find the best way to approach this activity. One year we did poster board and a hodgepodge of construction paper and 3-d ornaments; another year I searched in vain for the perfect tree branch to place in a pot, a la a friend's example. I was trying so hard to make it all perfect that year -- I ended up abandoning the entire activity in frustration. Another year our tree was hastily thrown together on construction paper. I was pregnant with Ramona then, at a very tired age 41, and was extraordinarily pleased with myself simply for breaking out glitter.

I was finally inspired to use our artificial tree by my friend, Johnna, who always has great craft and liturgical ideas. She began using their full-size Christmas tree as a Jesse Tree, hanging Jesse ornaments during Advent, then replacing them with Christmas ornaments on Christmas Eve. I adapted the idea, and pulled out the old 4' tree I'd been considering giving away. Our Jesse Tree tradition was finally settled. And, my kids were 11, 8 and 2 when I figured this out. So. Huh. It took awhile.

And, what readings do we use? This took some time for me to figure out, too. I have to confess that for awhile, I reeeally disliked the Jesse Tree activity, because I couldn't find an easy, workable, all-in-one version of it anywhere. If one source had ornaments or other ideas I liked, it did not offer neatly corresponding readings. If I found a set of readings I liked, suddenly my ornaments no longer matched.

Harumph. Then, my English pal, The Bookworm came to the rescue, and we've settled in with a book she recommended.

The Jesse Tree by Geraldine McCaughrean combines a picture/storybook with the Scripture readings we want to cover. I use both this book and a Bible to completely cover it all.

An important point to remember about the Jesse Tree -- and one that will keep you from falling into petulance -- is that it doesn't have to be done perfectly on schedule or legalistically. So what if you miss a day of readings here or there? It's okay! Catch up when you have time.

What you're aiming for -- the truly important thing -- is increased familiarity with Scripture, and a growing understanding that Jesus is present in the Old Testament.

In the same way that little math students do a lot of the same addition and multiplication problems year in and year out, students of the Jesse Tree study "the same old thing" each year,with the result being steady and continued growth and knowledge. Don't look for it to be immediately transforming. It's an activity that grows on you, that grows on your kids, and most of all, that increases everyone's fluency with the word of God. And with the Word of God, Jesus.

My final assessment: what matters is that you're digging into Scripture. Your ornaments might be hastily assembled, glitter-glopped and slapped on poster board, or they may be carefully fashioned in the weeks before Advent. Your readings might come from one source while your ornaments are nabbed from another. You might make up your own set of readings and symbols, or you might find a ready-made kit that's perfect.

But the bottom line is: do what works for you and your family, for your possibly-tired-or-pregnant-or-incapacitated body, your crafty or craft-challenged self, your one child or your many.

What matters most is focusing on Jesus as the celebration of His birth approaches.

Don't do what I did -- don't let the quest for "the perfect Jesse Tree" squelch a great way to spend time with God's word. Relax and have fun with it, and keep that big picture -- the growth and knowledge that will come over several years of doing it -- in mind.

Part IV: O Night Divine, Catholic Cuisine and Catholic Mom

Mary Ellen Barrett's Advent and Christmas blog, O Night Divine is a treasure chest from which you can pluck a few jewels for your preparations and celebrations.

Catholic Cuisine, a liturgical year resource that's a treasure trove all year round, is packed with ideas from a variety of contributors.

Lisa Hendey's CatholicMom.com Advent page is full of links, too.

If you haven't investigated these sites, start poking around. But keep track of the time -- you might get lost in the thick of all those great ideas and recipes.

Part V: Files

This one is simple.

Keep an Advent file. Bookmark great websites in an Advent folder, and keep a paper file, too.

Toss good ideas into your files as you stumble upon them. When you're halfway through Advent, or seven days into the Twelve Days of Christmas and you discover a great new idea, don't kill yourself trying to implement it right this very minute.

The idea will still be there next year. You and your kids will still be here, too.

So, don't try to do it all.

That's what files are for: to hold all the great stuff you're not doing at the moment, but will, one day, do.

Part VI: Don't Sweat a Little Secularity

Or, "What Does Miss Piggy Have to Do with Advent?"

Unexpectedly, Miss Piggy became a part of our Advent traditions many years ago.

When Anne-with-an-e was very little, my mother gave us an Advent calendar: twenty-four mini books, one for each day of December until Christmas. The calendar featured Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog bringing the O. Henry story, The Gift of the Magi, to fuzzy, muppety life. My daughter delighted in the story and looked forward each year to the daily books, which we read, then hung by their decorative little ribbons on the tree.

One year (it was before Atticus came into the Catholic Church), I worried that I shouldn't include anything secular in our Advent traditions. I considered leaving the Muppets in their box, trying as I was to impress upon the kids what the season was really all about. I was determined -- without my husband's help, and that made it seem a heavier burden -- to be certain that my children were focused on Jesus. Though I was well-intentioned, I think I was wrong.

That year, at the beginning of Advent, Anne immediately requested the Muppet Calendar. My heart was softened and I saw, finally and clearly, that this was a beautiful way to include my mother (who is not a Christian) in our Advent preparations. She lives far away and we see little enough of her as it is ... wasn't this a lovely way to make her a part of our focus on Jesus?

I let go of any worries about the little secular traditions that we include in Advent. The secularities we cling to are part of our shared family history and connect us to those in our family who are not connected to Jesus.

And, who am I to say that God can't work through a Muppet?

Part VII: Simple but Cherished Traditions

Here are a few more easy ways in which we observe the beginning of the new liturgical year, and count down the days until the real Christmas season. These are simple, but oh-such-cherished traditions.

The Advent Wreath

Pretty self-explanatory. We love ours. It's an old hand-me-down from the friend who introduced me to Catholicism. It's not about how the wreath looks -- mine is imperfect and crooked, like I am -- but rather what it reminds me of and Who it points to.

For nightly prayers, I've long used selections from Prayers and Customs of Advent and Christmas.

This page has prayers for the beginning of Advent, along with short daily prayers for each week. This page has some nice prayers for very young children. Some short Advent meditations are here. All of the prayers on this site are short and easy for families to use.

When my daughters were younger, we divided up the "duties" -- one child lit the candle, one read the prayer, and one got to snuff out the candle at the end of the meal (the antique candle snuffer we use made that task particularly attractive.) Some nights, though, everyone reeeeeally wanted to light a candle, or everyone reeeeeally wanted to snuff one out. So, sometimes we relit candles and snuffed them out again and again. Because we're easily amused, I guess.

New this year: We'll be using Sarah Reinhard's Welcome Baby Jesus.

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Daily Prayers

The girls and I pray together before breakfast every morning. (Let me amend that: unless something interrupts our routine, we pray together. If we have somehow missed morning prayer, it becomes obvious. In all of us. A hovering crankiness and irritability are sure signs that we forgot morning prayers.)

I vary our prayers with each liturgical season. Mounting our list of prayers on construction paper is a simple way to teach about liturgical colors. Ramona knows that if the prayers are on a green background, we're in ordinary time. Advent prayers are on a purple background, and so on.

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An Embarrassment of Advent Calendar Riches

We still read from our Muppet calendar every year. We also have another booklet-a-day calendar based on A Christmas Carol:

Another Advent calendar (another gift from my mother) is a decorative wooden Christmas tree and twenty-four tiny wooden ornaments to hang on it.

And, who can -- or would want to -- resist a chocolate-a-day-calendar? It's a must at our house. One year Ramona even added some heavy-duty protection to the chocolate shelf:

But what if you can't find one of those chocolate-a-day calendars? Last year, I waited too long and thought I was out of luck. In true Karen-Shortcut style, I thought I'd throw a bowl of chocolates on the dining room table and invite the kids to have one every day. But my friend Johnna saved the day, chocolately speaking.

What I would've considered a major project because it involved plugging in the glue gun, Johnna saw as a nanoblip in her day. My kids were hanging out at her house anyway so she decided, "Why not take care of this little problem?" They made these:

A Hershey kiss for every day of Advent. Glued to ribbons. Then, primo candy at the top, for the Twelve Days of Christmas and Epiphany:

Nifty, no? The girls can just pop one off each day, and thank their lucky stars for Magical Mrs. M.

To see Johnna's other Advent calendar idea, go here.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ramona will also:

* fill an empty manger to make a soft bed for the long-awaited Baby Jesus (I use a small basket and pieces of yarn)

* decorate a Christ candle (I use an inexpensive white candle that she can decorate it with sequins and jewels; it sits in the middle of the Advent wreath but will not be lit until Christmas day.)

* ready Mary and Joseph for their long journey (their figures are placed as far from the Nativity set as possible, and she moves them a little closer to the stable each day.)

(These three activities and others are mentioned in this wonderful article by Michaelann Martin.)

Part VIII: Why We Read Advent Books (or, "In Which I Am Imogene Herdman")

(I originally wrote this essay for Cay Gibson's book, Christmas Mosaic, An Illustrated Book Study for Advent and Christmas,which is a wonderful resource for books, activities and recipes to use throughout Advent and the entire Christmas season.)

The Nativity

I remember when I first met Him – that Child who was born in Bethlehem. I didn’t bump into Him in my childhood (though I now know He was there all along.) No, our first encounter -- the one in which I was really a participant -- came when I was older. I was a twenty-something atheist, and a Catholic friend recommended C.S. Lewis’s The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe to me. “Pay special attention,” he suggested, “to the character of Aslan.”

My friend had a way of recommending things that dramatically changed my life, so I read the book. As urged, I “paid special attention” to Aslan, and I fell in love with him. And I fell in love with Him, though I still didn’t fully understand Who it was that I loved. But I knew I wanted to hold Aslan forever, in my arms and in my heart. Like Susan and Lucy, I wanted to bury my face in His mane, inhale His sweetness, and never let go.

A few years later, the same friend gave me Barbara Robinson’s The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, in which “awful old” Imogene Herdman (while playing Mary in the Christmas pageant) is walloped with the story of Jesus for the first time in her short, rough life. She can hardly bear the weight of the irony and the beauty. And as I read about little Imogene bawling her eyes out, I began to sob. I loved Imogene fiercely, and realized that I loved her because I was Imogene: I was that sad little girl who’d never known Jesus, but who one day collided headlong with the reality and power of Him. The God of the universe had bowled Imogene over and she would never be the same. Neither would I.

What changed the Herdmans, the Pevensies, and me? That child born in Bethlehem two millennia ago.

That child. It’s hard to fathom, isn’t it? A child, born in a stable, in poverty, to a virgin. A child raised by a foster-father in relative obscurity. A child who for many years was nothing more than a carpenter’s son. A child.

The Christ Child set a Herdman sobbing, made perfectly sensible little British girls follow a lion for the rest of their lives, and He crumbled my unbelief.

Such is the power of our precious Jesus, and of the books written about Him. Although I wasn’t raised on beautiful tales of our Lord, I know the compelling power of books. I want to share with my own children everything I can about Him. I want to give them the gifts of picture books, chapter books, the Bible. I want to give them storytelling, fine art and great music. I hope to introduce them, through these things, to the Source of all that is good, and true and beautiful. I pray my daughters will remember countless, sublime meetings with Him, and will yearn to inhale His sweetness, the sweetness of that baby in a manger.

That baby was born for us. He lived and died for us.

He loves us so much.

Let’s pay special attention.

Part IX: Our Favorite Advent Books

All through December, our favorite Advent and Christmas books sit under our Jesse Tree, like the gifts that they are.

Here, in no particular order (and with links to past posts that contain more detail, in some cases) are some of our favorite books.

And, here's the "no panic" part: Although we own many of these, we certainly don't own them all. I make frequent use of the library and every year I purchase one or two new books to add to our collection.

The other "no panic" part: We don't read all of these every year. We'll definitely read our dearest favorites, but other books will rotate. For example, one year, we focused on all of the American Girl Christmas stories, baked related treats, and learned more about Christmas in other times and places. Read and do what works for you.

The Donkey's Dream by Barbara Helen Berger is an all-round favorite.

In this post, I talked about it, and "how literature teaches us beautiful things."

The first time we read The Christmas Miracle of Jonathan Toomey I cried a bucket. What a touching story about love and patience, healing and Christmas. Recommended with vigorous nodding of the head and tears in my eyes.

When I originally wrote this post, The Twenty-four Days Before Christmas was out of print and a bit hard to find. However -- huzzah! -- it's back in print!

The Tale of Three Trees: A Traditional Folktale is a story that can be read anytime, but is especially good for Advent and Lent.

It's a simple, beautifully illustrated book that helps children to see that God will answer our prayers, but not always in ways we can foresee.

The feast of St. Nicholas has us reading The Miracle of Saint Nicholas and The Real Santa Claus: Legends of Saint Nicholas (Yikes! Looks like that one's gotten rare.)

We used to get this one annually on inter-library loan, but last year I actually nabbed a copy of it and I didn't even have to barter my firstborn child! (Check out the typical prices to score a copy of this out-of-print rarity by Melissa Wiley.)

It's our must-read on St. Lucia day, along with saint books that tell us more about St. Lucy.

We love Tomie de Paola's The Legend of the Poinsettia and The Night of Las Posadas. Don't forget Jingle the Christmas Clown and An Early American Christmas (yikes, two more rare books! Check your library and watch your library sales.) Country Angel Christmas is a sweet one, too. And, anything else by Tomie de Paola that we can find.

My sister gave The Legend of the Candy Cane to Anne-with-an-e when she was very little. A very sweet book.

It has become a tradition that both The Legend of the Candy Cane and Jan Brett's The Night Before Christmas must be read by Atticus on Christmas Eve.

Gennady Spirin's rendering of The Christmas Story is gorgeously illustrated. I think I bought this one for me.

Okay, so I cry a lot. Yes, I cried at this one, too. A lot. Love this book. Silver Packages is beloved by all the females in the house. Atticus has probably never read it, but then, he doesn't love to cry.

More and more:

The Legend of the Christmas Rose by William Hooks
Bright Christmas : An Angel Remembers by Andrew Clements
This Is the Star by Joyce Dunbar
Jesus by Brian Wildsmith
A Christmas Story by Brian Wildsmith
The Gift of the Magi (this version, illustrated by P.J. Lynch, is on my wish list for "Books to Add This Year")
Hark! A Christmas Sampler by Jane Yolen
This Is the Stable by Cynthia Cotten
The Story of Christmas (Orchard Paperbacks) by Jane Ray
The Littlest Angel by Charles Tazewell (just ignore the faulty theology. Sorry. I can't help it.)
Jacob's Gift by Max Lucado
Christmas with Anne and Other Holiday Stories by L.M. Montgomery
The Christmas Story by Kay Chorao
A Little House Christmas Treasury: Festive Holiday Stories (Little House) by Laura Ingalls Wilder
American Girl Christmas Books

And, of course:

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson
and
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis

Part X: Don't forget

As Advent unfolds, you're savoring the liturgical season, you're teaching your children about watching, waiting, and preparing for the Lord.

But, what are you doing for yourself?

I grant that all the things we do for our children are done for us, too. We can benefit enormously from the books we read, the talks we have, the thought and consideration we give to our preparation. But, sometimes, it isn't enough, or it isn't exactly what we need. God wants not only for our children to be prepared but for us mothers to be ready, too.

During these weeks before Christmas, don't forget to do something for your own spiritual growth.

What do you want to do?

What do you need to do?

It doesn't have to be monumental. It just needs to draw you closer to the One who came for you, lived and died for you, and wants you to be with Him for all eternity.

What might help?

A book you've been meaning to read
More time with Scripture
A single Scripture verse on which to meditate ("The Mighty One has done great things for me, and holy is His name," from Luke 1:49 can lead to endless, grateful meditation ....)
A saint's biography or a collection of quotes from the saints
An extra five or ten minutes of prayer a day
A promise to give up complaining
A promise to give up something else until the joy of Christmas arrives
Daily devotional readings for the season

Something.

You know what it is for you, and I know what it is for me.

Remember: not only are we awaiting His arrival ....

He's waiting for us.

(The painting: The Annunciation by Henry Ossawa Tanner, 1859-1937.)

Part XI: Feasts and St. Lucia Bread

The feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe: Catholic Cuisine has easy, doable ideas for "Rosy Treats" here and other festive foods here.

We haven't always gone all out for this feast day in the past, because I've always been ~~overwhelmed~~ busy (but not panicked!) by other observances. But awhile back I added Tomie de Paola's The Lady of Guadalupe to our book collection and I'd like to add a fun food treat as well.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The feast of St. Lucia! And ... the Lucia bread!

Do not be intimidated by this yeast bread recipe!

If I can make this bread (and make it look beautiful), anyone can. Really. Trust me on this. This bread is easy. A little time-consuming (for a woman who, when left on her own, would easily eat tuna out of a can rather than cooking a meal) but easy.

And, as I mentioned in this post, if you don't have time to make it on the feast day, save the recipe and make it another day. It makes a great King's Bread for the Epiphany, too.

Here's the recipe, which came to me from my great friend, Holly (and to Holly via Family Fun):

Braided St. Lucia Bread

Dough:
1 1/2 cups milk
2 (1/4 oz.) pkgs. active dry yeast
1/4 cup sugar, plus 1 T. sugar
6 T. butter, cut in pieces
2 large eggs
1/4 cup orange juice
1 T. finely grated orange rind
1 t. salt
5 1/2 - 6 1/2 cups flour

Glaze and garnish:
2 1/2 cups confectioner's sugar
2-4 T. orange juice
1/3 cup dried cranberries

Warm the milk in a small saucepan, then pour 1/2 cup of it into a large bowl. Add the yeast and 1 T. of the sugar and let it sit for 5 min.

Melt the butter in the remaining milk. Add butter/milk mixture to the yeast mixture. Whisk in the eggs, juice, 1/4 cup sugar, orange rind, and salt. Stir in the flour, 1 cup at a time, until the dough can be gathered into a ball. Knead the dough on a floured surface for 10 min., adding more flour until the dough is smooth and elastic and doesn't stick to your hands. Transfer the dough to an oiled bowl, turning it once to coat it. Loosely cover the bowl with plastic wrap and let it rise until doubled in size, about 1 1/2 hours. Punch down the dough and divide it into 3 equal parts. Roll each part into a 30-inch rope and braid the ropes together. Transfer the braid to a greased baking sheet, pinch together the ends to form a circle and let it rise until doubled in size, about 45 min. Bake at 375 degrees for 25 min., or until golden brown, then let cool on a wire rack about 30 min.

For the glaze, stir together the confectioner's sugar and orange juice until smooth. Drizzle over the bread, then garnish with cranberries. Add candles for "wreath."

Some things we've done in the past to celebrate St. Lucia:

Made wreaths for daughters, found something (anything white) for the girls to wear for a St. Lucia procession through the house, read Hanna's Christmas (see Advent books, above.)

Employed "flexible homeschooling" in an off-year (i.e., when Ramona was still keeping me up every night, for the third year in a row of her fabulous life), and didn't sweat the imperfection known as "not doing it all" and also known as "moving St. Lucia day to a Saturday or an evening."

Part XII: A Prayer

Dear Lord,

When I become harried
and impatient,
when I think I have
too much to do
and not enough time,
when I feel burdened
by obligations,
responsibilities,
activities and
busy-ness,
please, Lord,
give me the grace to remember,
always to remember,
that my obligations,
responsibilities,
activities and busy-ness
spring from
an abundance
of blessings.
Enormous, ineffable blessings.
Help me to see
my busy days
and busy ways
as the privilege
and the gift
that they are.

Help me to remember,
pray for,
and tangibly support
those who are not "burdened"
by too much to eat,
too much to bake,
too much to decorate,
too many books to read.

Help me, Lord, to see the Advent of Your birth
as a time to remember all of these things,
to drop to my knees and thank You,
always to thank You,
for so much undeserved Love.

Rejoice! (Part XIII of a No-Panic Advent)

Gaudete Sunday! Rejoice!

The third Sunday of Advent sees us more than halfway through the season, and the celebration of the birth of our Savior will soon arrive.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I shall say it again: rejoice!" ~~ Philippians 4:4

And, do not panic! I know that Christmas is only, oh, say, tennish days away. But, again, I say: do not panic!

Remember that even though our days are full of busy-ness, if some of that busywork falls by the wayside, or someone gets the flu and all your plans are for naught, or if something this year just isn't quite right or isn't full of the perfection you'd hoped for, it's okay.

Christ will still come. He came two thousand years ago, He is here now, He will arrive for Christmas, and He will remain with us always.

Again I say, rejoice!

"Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus." ~~ 1Thess. 5:16-18

Part XIV: A Week Before Christmas -- Do You Know Where Your Daughter's Tights Are?

One week until Christmas!

What do I still need to make? Buy? Wrap?

Who has a birthday in December that I've completely forgotten? (I'll remember Jesus, of course, but others? Friends? Family? Who needs a birthday card?)

Have I thought about those stockings that will soon hang over the fireplace, and about what will go in them?

Speaking of stockings, when Christmas Mass rolls around will all of my children have tights/socks without holes/hose without runs? Clothes that fit? Shoes that won't send them into last-minute snits? Some mothers might buy festive new clothes each Christmas, but others do a little jig of joy when everything from last year (or in Ramona's case, the most current Christmas hand-me-down) fits. Yes. That'd be me.

And, let's be totally honest here. The problem with writing and running a "No-Panic Advent" series is that at some point any sane, normal, writer-mom will panic.

I've done it. I've panicked.

"Hi, my name is Karen, and I'm a fake."

Well, not really. Usually not cataclysmic meltdowns. I don't take anyone's head off (well, not completely, and I do tell them I'm sorry for being snippy), and I don't run from the house, ripping my hair out and screeching, "I thought I had more gift bags!"

But I've had my moments. Suddenly, it seems, Christmas is upon me, and there are things I've forgotten, things on which I fell behind, things I didn't get around to.

One year, when I went to have coffee with two friends, I practically threw their Christmas gifts at them and said, "Now I can cross you off my list." I was kidding, of course, but there is something to that awful, "Must ... Do ... During ... Advent .... " spell under which we all fall.

Sometimes things providentially pop up, things that help us rearrange our priorities. For example, although we always celebrate St. Lucia Day, one year some friends were available at the last minute and invited our kids to stay overnight while Atticus and I ran away for a one-night vacation. We jumped on it and were thrilled we did. We had a great time, and Ramona survived the separation (although, after our reunion she noted, "I did miss you more than I can say. And I love you dearly.") We missed doing our traditional St. Lucia activities (the bread, however, had been consumed and eaten two days prior), but when I felt a pang about that, I reminded myself that "no panic" means accepting what God allows.

Sometimes it's a refreshing one-night vacation.

Other times, it means someone is throwing up on Christmas Eve.

Whatever happens, we can rest assured that He knows about it. And He'll get us through.

So, when I start to panic, I go back to my prayer. It grounds me. It reminds me that Christmas is not about shopping and doing, and not about presents (with the exception of the Ultimate Gift.) Rather, it is about sin and redemption, about panic and apologies.

And, it will come, as the Grinch learned, whether it is surrounded by all our cultural, habitual trappings or not. It will come to our sloppy, imperfect selves, and when it does, I need only ask myself, "Is Jesus pleased with what I've given Him this Advent, and in this Christmas season, or is He wagging His finger at me?"

If I sense any Divine finger-wagging, then I can get a head-start on the next to-do list: spiritual resolutions for the new year.

Because He's all about beginnings, this God of ours.

Now, I'm off to cross "tights" off my shopping list.

To Santa or Not to Santa?

There are always Santa conversations at this time of year.

We're all busy, so I'll make this quick.

We do "No-Panic Santa."

I don't worry about it. Honestly, I don't. When Anne-with-an-e was a baby, I worried (a lot) that lying about Santa would mean that one day she'd think I'd lied about God, too. When she was two years old, people would ask her what Santa was going to bring, and she'd stare blankly at them, wondering who in the world they were talking about.

But then, my own past Santa fun crept into our Christmas traditions, and so, yes, we started "doing" Santa. (Why does this blog always sound slightly confessional? "Hi, I'm Karen. And I lie about Santa.")

Well, I don't out and out lie. I imply. I play a game. We get a visit from St. Nicholas on his feast day ... we have presents from him on Christmas morning ... We wink, we leave cookies, we love the magic.

And, although I completely respect the many different ways that good Catholic parents handle this question, here's the reason I don't worry that "the Santa lie" will lead to atheism:

God is real.

My children will know, see, and feel His fingerprints on their lives. We have seen God at work, and we know He isn't the stuff of toyshops and flying reindeer.

Yes, Ramona will learn that Santa was just a lot of fun pretending. But, she'll also know that Jesus is a powerful King.

Feelings on Santa vs. no-Santa are subjective and personal, and I would never say that my way is universally the best. I can understand the other side. I'm just saying that personally I no longer fret over it. And, since there's no doctrine of the Church that says we must not do Santa, I think I'm in faithful territory.

And, sometimes, even the most roundabout ways of celebrating things can have lovely, unexpected, faith-filled results. I thought of that when I reread this old post on Santa, at The Wine Dark Sea.

Melanie writes,

"The Santa myth can be in our secular world a sort of pre-gospel."

I completely agree. As someone who grew up with Santa, but without religion in Christmas, I can say that Santa was indeed pre-Gospel for me. Santa was unconditional love. The times I was bad? He never left me a lump of coal. Not once. (Thanks, Mom and Dad.)

And Santa was magic.

God is the ultimate Unconditional Love and the True Magic.

I know that somewhere, deep down, the child who loved Santa was yearning for Christ.

And He came to me. Just as Santa did. But when He came, the Magic was bigger, and powerful.

And when He came, the Magic was here to stay.

******************************************

12/24/08 Edited to add this great bit of G.K. Chesterton, courtesy of Chris in the comments:

On Christmas morning, he [Chesterton] remembered, his stockings were filled with things he had not worked for, or made, or even been good for.

The only explanation people had was that a being called Santa Claus was somehow kindly disposed toward him. “We believed,” he wrote, that a certain benevolent person “did give us those toys for nothing. And ... I believe it still. I have merely extended the idea.

“Then I only wondered who put the toys in the stocking; now I wonder who put the stocking by the bed, and the bed in the room, and the room in the house, and the house on the planet, and the great planet in the void.

“Once I only thanked Santa Claus for a few dolls and crackers, now I thank him for stars and street faces and wine and the great sea. Once I thought it delightful and astonishing to find a present so big that it only went halfway into the stocking.

“Now I am delighted and astonished every morning to find a present so big that it takes two stockings to hold it, and then leaves a great deal outside; it is the large and preposterous present of myself, as to the origin of which I can offer no suggestion except that Santa Claus gave it to me in a fit of peculiarly fantastic good will.”

********************************************

Aaahhh ... no one can say it quite like G.K. Thank you, Chris.

A No-Panic Advent, Part Who-Knows?: The Last-minute "To Do" List

Christmas Eve:

Put Ramona's church bag together ... just a couple of extra things for her to do and read while we wait and wait for Mass to begin.

Bake the birthday cake for Jesus:

Make a pie

Watch in awe as my husband works various other food magic in the kitchen

Look forward, with increasing anticipation, to the celebration of the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me

Wishing you a blessed, happy and holy Christmas Eve.

On the Sixth Day of Christmas ... (in which she finally talks about the Twelve Days)

We've been "keeping Christmas" here (translate: "keeping too busy to blog") so rather than talk about it, we've been celebrating and visiting friends (with a bit of work sprinkled in, just to keep me from becoming a slug.)

But I wanted to take a moment out to share some ideas on keeping the Twelve Days.

When we first started doing some of these things, my kids noticed that much of the world was dismantling Christmas Joy just as we were picking up speed. I told them (repeatedly, because that's a mother's job), "It's a shame the whole world doesn't realize that the Christmas season is just beginning! They don't know all the fun they're missing!" The ~~harping~~ instruction paid off. They get it. And Ramona, who has never known any other way, is the first to correct one of us if we call Advent "the Christmas season." Which can be kind of irritating, but endearing. Mostly endearing.

Ideas:

Keep your tree up until the Feast of the Epiphany, of course

Read with the kids about the twelve days

Keep watching Christmas shows and movies, continue reading Christmas books

Post prayers for the season (I put them up on the wall in our kitchen -- our page of prayer intentions for the Christmas season is accented with glitter. One can never have too much glitter)

Send Christmas greetings during the 12 days ... and don't apologize for it -- it's the Christmas season! Mine went out yesterday and today

Observe the Epiphany -- have a Twelfth Night party, or make Kings' bread (the St. Lucia bread works well, or perhaps make a "King Cake" -- Google it for endless possibilities. Other ideas are here at Catholic Cuisine)

Give Epiphany gifts (as large or small as you want them to be)

Have the wise men from your Nativity set travel through the house during the 12 days, making their way to the stable

Make gingerbread houses

I just found this page at Catholic Culture. You can click on each day of the Twelve Days for a new activity and recipe.

In keeping with the "No Panic" philosophy, don't try to incorporate twenty-seven new things into a twelve day period. Pick a couple, and put the rest in the file.

12/31/08: Edited to add ideas:

From Sarah, who inspired this post:

I have some friends whose kids open one gift a day for each of the 12 days, some gifts are larger and some are very small like what might be used as a stocking stuffer. We're considering that for next year. We read The Three Wise Kings by Tomie de Paola a few weeks ago and I'm planning to pull it check it out from the library again to read this week.

From Jenn:
We read all our Christmas books and bake a festive cookie every other day or so (instead of all at once like I used to do.) We read The Legend of Old Befana on January 5th and make pizzelles on Epiphany. That's the only thing set in stone. I also finally found the frankincense and myrrh incense I bought last year. Lucy's conveniently learning "We Three Kings" on piano.
Our priest was talking about the peace of Christ on Christmas Eve. I've always hoped for a peaceful Advent and it struck me as very fitting that night that that peace I've longed for arrives the very moment we gather to celebrate Christ's birth and is very tangible throughout the Christmas season.

from Margaret in Minnesota:

We keep the season by talking about the 12 Days of Christmas--specifically, the Christian symbolism of each of the days. And we don't sweat the "small" stuff, like getting cards and presents out "on time". As my dear friend Sarah puts it, we're supposed to be living Christmas every day.

1/5/09 -- More ideas:

My friend, Mary P. writes: "I bought an Advent box at Starbucks. Behind each door was a piece of candy. Why not make one for the 12 days of Christmas? I think I know somebody that would like chocolate each day."

from the comments:

Amy says: "My kids were thrilled to get a little bag with their own kid-friendly versions of gold (chocolate coins), frankincense (scratch-n-sniff stickers), and myrrh (bubble bath)."

Connie's Daughter says: "You know, Karen, the Christmas Season goes until the feast of the Baptism of Our Lord, which this year is on Jan. 11th. We usually keep our tree up until then, and we have lots of treats throughout the entire time, ice cream being our favorite. :) And even though the world has moved on, I continue to wear my Christmas sweaters and earrings and socks. Our Nativity set is still being lit each night in our yard, too!"

Twelfth Night!

It's still Christmas!

Even when the Twelve Days come to a close, we're still liturgically in the Christmas season until the Baptism of the Lord.

Celebrate! Rejoice! Worship!

Merry Christmas!

It's 13 Days Until Advent -- Do You Know Where Your Wreath Is?

2011-11-13T17:41:00.000-06:00

And have you bought Sarah Reinhard's new Advent book?

Welcome Baby Jesus is a sweet, wonderful, simple-but-meaty resource for families. The four weeks of Advent are presented thematically:

Get Ready
Repent
Love
Anticipate

The final section, Rejoice, takes you through the Christmas season to the Feast of the Epiphany.

Each day includes sections to help us Think, Pray and Act, along with a Scripture verse.

Here's an "Act" example from the first Sunday of Advent:

One way to get ready for Jesus is to make an Advent resolution. What can you give Jesus? Is there a person you can be nice to all during Advent? Could you help someone in a special way during Advent? Think of something you can do to get ready for Jesus' birth.

Because Sarah doesn't talk down to kids, there's enough substance in the "Think" sections for us adults, so they work at varying levels for the whole family. We can all be challenged by such questions as, "When we are asked to do work we might consider 'servant' work, how do we respond?" (Ummm, I think I'll be taking yet another look at my attitude toward laundry this Advent.) For very young children, the "Think" passages could be shortened or skipped -- head straight to "Pray" and "Act" with the littlest ones.

I remember several years ago, when I first stumbled onto Sarah's blog. My first thought was that anyone who had a booklist sidebar labeled "Nose Inserted" and who called herself the Snoring Scholar was a kindred spirit. It's been a perfect delight to see Sarah's writing bloom and grow beyond her lovely blog.

And, speaking of those blooms, look at all these other books Sarah has in the works!

While I'm on the subject of Advent -- I hope to get my "No Panic Advent" series updated and posted this week.

Now, on to the all-important question: Do you know who your chocolate-a-day calendar supplier is?

Overcooked and Underappreciated

2011-11-10T11:35:00.001-06:00

Yesterday I:

Roasted a chicken (Granted, I did tweet this, but we won't go there right now....)
Roasted the last of Atticus' homegrown potatoes
Baked a double batch of pumpkin bread
Made an apple crisp
And there were still some chocolate chip cookies lolling around from the day before.

In the evening, Ramona surveyed the kitchen and pronounced, "All this baking, and not a homemade granola bar in sight."

(Photo thanks to Stock.xchng)

Dear Google Reader,

2011-11-08T18:44:00.006-06:00

I don't even know where to begin.

We had a great thing going. Oh, sure, I know you had the same thing with just-about-everyone-else-on-the-internet, but that was okay with me. Actually, that was kind of the point. Sharing. Y'know? It was everything to me. How could you have missed that our relationship was all about the sharing? You never really listened to me, did you?

When you went through this mid-life redesign and pulled the plug on the Share feature, I was, to put it mildly, shocked. It took days just to get over the denial. ("You aren't really doing this. Tell me you're not doing this. If I just pretend you're not doing this, you'll come to your senses Won't you?")

Then there was the anger ("You will not do this! I will not allow this! You do not even understand what you're doing, do you?! Google, are you listening to me? I will not be ignored, Google!" )

Then came the bargaining. ("C'mon, G., I mean, c'mon. Let's just go back to the way it used to be. We were a team, an effortless waltz, can't you see that? I'll dump Facebook for good. Really. Totally. I'll never click a Like button again, and I'll tell everyone I've ever met about Google+ if you'll just give me back the Share bookmarklet. Please?")

You know what came next, right? And you know that you caused it. Yeah. The depression. Don 't deny your culpability here. I couldn't even blog about it -- every key stroke was too much effort. What was there to say, anyway? It was pointless. You weren't coming back and my life was forever altered. I had to learn a new way of being.

And finally? Acceptance.Yeah, I made it. I get it. You don't really care about my needs. I've moved on.

And now I'm going to share with my friends how I moved on, and how they can, too. First, I have to thank Lissa, who was (you cad) more heartbroken than I was. She suggested the Tumblr part of this idea, and for that, I must thank her. Her empathetic blog posts about our messy relationship were a salve for my denying, angry, bargaining, depressed self.

But (hey, I'm no longer bitter) back to what I did:

I already had AddThis on my browser. If you don't have it, it's quick and easy to add -- an effortless way to email links, send them to Twitter, Facebook, Google+, etc.

Then, I followed up on Lissa's idea about Tumblr for links. I quickly and easily set up a Tumblr page: My Shared Stuff.

Then I went to the Tumblr Goodies page (just scroll down to "Embed your blog") and found the code to add to my sidebar so that you can now see my shared items from Tumblr here. (See over there? In my left sidebar? Under "What I'm Reading"? That's where you used to be, Google Share.)

Now, all I have to do to fling anything from the web far and wide (all the places we used to go together, Google) is click on my AddThis button, click on my Tumblr button, and -- Ta-da! -- I'm a new woman.

(And, actually, it's even quicker than that -- on the Tumblr Goodies page, I found, right at the top, a "Share on Tumblr" bookmarklet. Just drag that to your bookmark bar and you'll be sharing in one click. You can skip AddThis altogether.)

It's a whole new relationship and I'm kind of walking on air here.

Oh, and as for you, Google Shared Items?

I'm going to wear red to your funeral.

~~~~~~~~~~

Updated to add a quick clarification:

I have not dumped Google Reader for reading, subscribing, staying current with favorite blogs, etc. I do not want to bother with a new reader, new subscription set-up, etc. That's too much trouble and work. (Although, I did go ahead and set up a FriendFeed account, if that makes it easier for anyone else to share posts, etc. Still haven't fully investigated FriendFeed, though -- just an FYI.)

What I truly missed was an easy way to share an item from either a blog I'm already subscribed to, or from a random page I happened to land on. That's what Google Reader's universal Share bookmark allowed -- sharing from any page without first subscribing to it. That's the biggest convenience lost through this change.

Embedding Tumblr on my blog has resurrected that ability. I can now use either "Add This" or "Share on Tumblr" to share anything at all, subbed or not, and it will end up both on my blog and on my Tumblr page (which can also be subbed to via a feed.)

(Photo thanks to Stock.xchng.)

I Am One-Tenth of Betty Beguiles' Book

2011-11-08T08:03:00.004-06:00

Betty Beguiles,
aka Hallie Lord,
aka "She has a book coming out and I'm in it!"

A summary from Hallie:

In Style, Sex, and Substance: 10 Catholic Women Consider the Things that Really Matter, ten of the top Catholic female writers come together to offer tips, encouragement, and a bit of humor for their sisters in the trenches of daily life. From the difficulties of fitting in prayer time to the impact that lots of babies have on intimacy to the unique challenges of the single life, each author digs deep into the issues that real Catholic women think about. With the tone of a group of gals gathered around a bottle of wine, it is sure to be a hit with all Catholic women, whether they need practical tips in areas in which they struggle, words of encouragement, or just a bit of entertainment after a long day.

Contributors:
1. Jennifer Fulwiler
2. Hallie Lord
3. Karen Edmisten (that'd be me)
4. Rachel Balducci
5. Annie Mitchell
6. Rebecca Teti
7. Betty Duffy
8. Danielle Bean
9. Simcha Fisher
10.Barbara Nicolosi

Visit Hallie's blog for more information or to pre-order the book from Amazon.

And, ummm, in case you're wondering ... I think I'm part of the substance? Let's see ... I have a tortured relationship with fashion, so I wouldn't be trusted with style, and I didn't say much about sex. So, let's all close our eyes and wish very hard that my contribution contains something substantial (as do the contributions of these nine other women, in whose company I'm honored to be.)

The Trumpet of the Swan: A New Book Club is Born

2011-11-06T17:20:00.004-06:00

In a fun coincidence, it turned out that all three of us Catholic homeschooling moms were doing The Trumpet of the Swan as a read-aloud. One of the moms suggested a tea party for the five children ages nine and under who had been the beneficiaries of the reading.

So, that's what we did.

The menu included:

Watercress sandwiches (with lettuce ably standing in for watercress)
Slates (chocolate graham crackers on which Hostess Mom had written the children's names in frosting)
Chalk (string cheese)
Trumpets (Bugles)
Medals (miniature rice cakes)
Money bags (fashioned from tissue paper) filled with coins (chocolate, of course)
Swan nests (no-bake cookies with peanut M&Ms nestled in for the eggs)

I just now asked Ramona if we had anything else at the party and she said, "We had juice boxes. But that's not symbolic of anything."

Right.

So, Hostess Mom asked the children a number of most excellent questions about the book. They answered in a most excellently cute manner (between bites) and a gastronomically, literarily good time was had by all.

I highly recommend all of the following: E.B. White, reading aloud, my friends, and whimsical foodstuff.

Side notes:

You can read John Updike's take on the book here. (Though I must point out, dear NYT, that Sam Beaver is an 11-year old boy, not 1.)

You can listen to an excerpt of the book, read by E.B. White, here.

Poetry Friday

2011-11-04T07:37:00.001-05:00

Ah, yet another week in which I had no time to blog and then abruptly found myself face to face with Poetry Friday.

It's been a week of converging, unconnected events that conspired to brew a perfect storm of activity. These weeks leave me weary, and yet not a single one of these things was overwhelming or dreary or difficult. Just collectively exhausting.

I'm sharing this poem from Barbara Crooker not because of its focus on brokenness but for its razor-sharp observation of what comes after. "Hope is borne on wings," she says, and although my week was about a common life and not a tragedy, I find myself more buoyant for these words, and grateful for poets like Crooker who can startle me out of myself.

Sometimes, I Am Startled Out of Myself,
by Barbara Crooker

like this morning, when the wild geese came squawking,
flapping their rusty hinges, and something about their trek
across the sky made me think about my life, the places
of brokenness, the places of sorrow, the places where grief
has strung me out to dry. And then the geese come calling,
the leader falling back when tired, another taking her place.
Hope is borne on wings. Look at the trees. They turn to gold
for a brief while, then lose it all each November.

(Read the rest here, at The Writer's Almanac.)

The round up is being hosted today by Laura Purdie Salas at her new Wordpress-y cyber home. She's still getting moved in, but clearly she has her priorities straight -- the bookshelves are unpacked and, for me, that's always a sign that I'm home.

Where Did My Fairy Princesses Go?

2011-10-31T08:10:00.001-05:00

Yes, it's another tiresome post detailing my disbelief that I no longer have babies.

Above you will find Ramona -- eight years ago, at age one -- when she was a fairy princess for Halloween.

This year my 9-year-old baby will trick-or-treat as Professor Trelawney, and my 15 and 18 year old babies (Eighteen! Anne-with-an-e turned eighteen last week!) will dole out excessive amounts of sugar (dressed as Gothel and Eponine ... they do still love Halloween).

Sigh.

I should start a new blog post category: "Tiresome Karen, Who Still Can't Believe Children Grow Up."

Have a blessed All Hallow's Eve!

Poetry Friday: Ancient Egypt in Verse with Ramona

2011-10-28T09:01:00.000-05:00

A recent library find: The Tomb of the Boy King: A True Story in Verse by John Frank. I haven't read it with Ramona yet, but I really enjoyed this poetic version of the discovery of King Tut's tomb. The illustrations are lovely, and the book is full of heiroglyphics for Ramona to try to decipher. The epilogue plays up "the curse" quite a bit, but that will afford us a great chance to discuss such things. It will be fun, too, to see where this little rabbit trail takes us.

Visit Random Noodling today for a great Robert Frost poem and the rest of the Friday round-up.

Remember the Spoon Saint Gang?

2011-10-28T08:04:00.000-05:00

Was it really back in 2006 that we first did this craft? It was such a terrific and easy idea from Alice Gunther. Here's the original post about it:

Thanks to Alice the Amazing Craft Mom, we got ourselves to Hobby Lobby, bought some wooden ice cream spoons and spent our day in the company of the saints.

We had such fun, and I know the creating isn't over yet. Thank you, Alice, for yet another wonderful idea that I would never have thought of on my own!

Hmmm, let's see. When that post first ran, I had daughters who were 12, 10 and 4. Things have changed a bit around here, but I still have one who's always ready to get her hands into the Cupboard-o-Crafty-Things.

I think our All Saints Day art project will be some new spoon saints. I'll keep you posted on Ramona's creations.

Keeping God in My Planner at Faith and Family Live

2011-10-24T08:31:00.000-05:00

This one first ran awhile back, but if you missed it, it's up again today at Faith & Family Live -- Memo from God.

This subject has been on my mind again lately because our parish is in the midst of the annual stewardship drive (probably happening in your neck of the woods, too?) And, although I don't want my pastor to throttle me, I have to confess that I've been known to encourage other moms to just say no.

Not to everything, of course. (For example, if we all tithed, we'd need far fewer volunteers for all those fundraising events, which would no longer be necessary.) But I know that I need to regularly and honestly assess what I'm capable of. And I have to factor my vocation as a mom into the equation. Raising my family is part of my stewardship -- trying to do it well is an enormous part of what I give to God. Stretching myself so thin that I end up shrieking at everyone and everything around me including the cat is not good stewardship. It's just ugly.

So, I try to combine prayer with planner and see where they take me. Perhaps the result doesn't always appear that I'm doing as much as I could, but that's okay. Genuine stewardship isn't about how things look to others, it's about prayer, discernment, and then doing what God says. A list of committee commitments may not be part of my life right now, but closely examined stewardship is.

And by the way, I'm not being flippant about the "committee commitment list" ... in certain seasons that's exactly how faithful stewardship will look in some lives. It's just not the only or main measure. Stewardship is about using our gifts for God, but gifts come in a wide array of wrapping. Some are elaborately packaged, visible to many. Others are humbly stuffed into a bag with some crumpled tissue paper. And some gifts aren't visible at all.

It's up to us to discern, and if we're doing that honestly and prayerfully, I don't think we need to worry about how it looks. The point, finally, is that we're giving it all to God.

(Photo from Stock.xchng)

Poetry Friday: Go Visit the Incomparable Jama

2011-10-21T12:44:00.000-05:00

You need nothing from me today, and that's a good thing, because I have nothing.**

Jama, however, has it all. She's hosting Poetry Friday today, and she's kicking things off with perfection from Barbara Crooker. Go read it. Then linger there for other golden offerings from around the blogosphere.

~~~~~~~~~~

**Now, however, that my sister and brother-in-law have gone home, and I have conquered Mt. Laundry, I will soon be back to normal and start posting again.

Bits and Pieces of Our Days

2011-10-17T10:55:00.000-05:00

I missed mentioning St. Teresa of Avila's feast day on Saturday -- we were busy giving our friends backaches by asking them to help move a free piano to our house. It was free! Free, I tell you! And Ramona is in a little bit of piano heaven. True, you can't turn the volume up and down as you could on our old electronic keyboard, and true, you can't play that d.j. sound effect (a huge checkmark in the "pro" column for me) as you could on the old keyboard, and true, it doesn't play "Fur Elise" on its own while you are dancing in the living room wearing a tutu, but Ramona can forgive it all of that. And so can I. It's a real piano! And it was free!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of the feast day I neglected to mention, here's a favorite St. Teresa of Avila quote:

"God, deliver me from sullen saints."

~~~~~~~~~~

Ramona and I have continued looking into Ancient Egypt. She really enjoyed traveling there with Ms. Frizzle. We made papyrus -- soaked plain white paper in tea and came up with fun stuff for practicing our heiroglyphics:

~~~~~~~~~~

We made the requisite autumn visit to an apple orchard to make up for the fact that I usually don't make the requisite visit to an apple orchard. It was lovely -- the weather, the free apples, the purchased apples, the time with friends, the requisite apple crisp that came out of the oven at the requisite later time. Also lovely was the requisite chatting with other homeschool moms and the fact that from one of those conversations came a phone call the next day informing me that someone was giving away a piano. Free, I tell you! Beaten up, yes, but free.

~~~~~~~~~~

Pianos make me happy. Free makes me happy. Heiroglyphics make me happy. And today my sister and brother-in-law are coming for a visit, and that makes me even happier (and explains the silence that will ensue on this blog for the next couple of days.)

Poetry Friday: Rilke

2011-10-14T08:54:00.001-05:00

Beautiful and harsh, lush and barren, this sonnet by Rainer Maria Rilke is gorgeously translated by Mary Kinzie:

Day in Autumn
by Rainer Maria Rilke

After the summer's yield, Lord, it is time
to let your shadow lengthen on the sundials
and in the pastures let the rough winds fly.

As for the final fruits, coax them to roundness.
Direct on them two days of warmer light ....

~~~~

The final five lines of the poem take a jolting turn -- read the rest here, at The Poetry Foundation, because you really have to read the whole thing. You do.

Read the translator's notes here, and read more about Mary Kinzie, here.

And, if you should even for a millisecond believe that a translator of poetry need not be a poet herself, read various translations of the poem here.

The Poetry Friday round up is at Fomagrams.

Our Coats of Many Colors

2011-10-11T23:30:00.001-05:00

Awhile back, I did a post about Our Coats of Many Colors, a small costume business run by a mom (and amazing seamstress) in Kansas.

With All Saints' Day and Halloween approaching, I thought I'd throw out another mention. A longtime pal of mine, Maria Rioux, helps out with the design and sewing, and when I think of Maria, the words strength and integrity come to mind. And these costumes are things of strength and integrity. They are expensive, yes -- and you should know that when I first reviewed them (as I mentioned in that original post), I received two "review copies" so that I could offer my opinion. My opinion was, and still is, that these are gorgeous saint/religious costumes, they are beautifully made, and they will not fall apart, even during bilocation (although I must confess we haven't actually experienced that here, though on many a day I wish for the gift of being two places at once.)

They certainly seem pricey, I know, but for large families who will see them passed from child to child, I imagine they would become something of a dress-up investment. The two dresses we received three years ago are still in terrific shape and Ramona foresees getting many more years out of them. Here they are:

(Please note: I have no stake in the Our Coats of Many Colors business. I'm simply grateful for the dresses we received for review, and I'm happy to help friends spread the word.)

Okey-dokey, Let's Talk About Mass, Part II

2011-10-10T06:22:00.001-05:00

Part I is here.

Last time, I mentioned a few other things I wanted to touch on. One of them was:

"Letting go of an ideal about what I should get out of Mass when I'm there with children."

When I first started exploring the Church and attending Mass, I went alone. Atticus didn't want to go, and Anne-with-an-e was not quite a year old. So I left her home with her daddy and went to Mass and RCIA by myself.

I fell in love with the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass in a quiet, private, peaceful, prayerful atmosphere. I had time to meditate, and to listen. I had time to think. I had time to be.

I was later received into the Church and little by little things changed. I began to take Anne to Mass with me, because now I was raising a Catholic. Then we had Betsy. Suddenly I was raising two Catholics.

And, though I longed for us to be "one of those families" (the ones who are together at Mass), I had to admit that I loved the experience of worship without distractions.

But more and more often, I had company. I took my little girls with me, and finally, one year, Atticus agreed to go with me every Sunday in Lent. One of those times, when Anne was about four, and Betsy about 18 months old, we were at Mass and I hoped to be a glittering example of faith to my reluctant, "I'll never become a Catholic" husband. But I found myself getting impatient, annoyed and frustrated with my very active little children and with my husband, who didn't seem to notice their level of activity. I suddenly found myself tempted to impatience with the very thing I longed for with my whole being: my husband's conversion.

His conversion would translate into family togetherness at Mass, right? But, umm, it would mean this? Irritation, distraction, impatience, anger? It would sharpen my desire to be at Mass alone?

Wait, what?

I remember that realization and the way it gobsmacked me -- that my desire to become "one of those families, together at Mass" meant giving up my treasured spiritual experience of entering into the Mass alone. Just Jesus and me.

But it would also mean gaining a new way of experiencing the Mass: as a family. A loud, messy, imperfect, distracted, sometimes-frustrated family.

And so, as I grew into my role as a Catholic wife and mother, I grew into a new phase of what I expected to "gain" from the Mass. I approached it very differently. It was no longer about what I felt (though I'm not disparaging what I felt in my days of solo Mass attendance -- those feelings played a beautiful role in drawing me into the Church.) Mass was now also about my vocation. Being at Mass meant giving myself up to my role as a mom: teaching my children, forming them, whispering little instructions during our highest form of worship ("Look, honey, it's not bread anymore -- it's Jesus!") It was a sacrifice of sorts -- I gave up my quiet, meditative Mass in order to give myself to Jesus in a new way: as a mother.

I knew this sacrifice wouldn't last forever (or so I pep-talked myself on the toughest Sunday mornings). And it didn't.

Yesterday, as all three of my daughters sat and sang with the choir at Mass, I sat in the pew with Atticus and remembered that day so long ago when I realized I had to give up my contemplative Masses. I worried back then that I would lose something by entering into the messiness of the family at Mass.

But, as is true with all the sacrifices we make for God's sake, I learned that I didn't lose a thing. Jesus, in His boundless generosity, has given the Mass back to me a hundredfold, helping me to see it through the eyes of my daughters as they have grown up and into it over the years.

Exchanging magical, meditative Masses for distracted, messy ones was a gift I couldn't fully grasp when I initially resigned myself to it. Jesus has been there -- Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity -- in the Eucharist, at every Mass, at every age, and even at that daily Mass when a seemingly nice lady turned around to me and my then-very-bouncy preschoolers and said with pursed lips, "Oh, my, did we have red juice this morning?"

Ouch. Yeah, He was there. And He kept me going, no matter what I heard (or didn't hear) of the homily, no matter how many times I had to take a fussy child out, no matter how many readings I missed or moments of solitude I longed for. He was there for me.

So, hang in there, mommies and daddies of noisy little people. Distracted or not, you're at Mass, and you're not alone. Jesus is there.

And I'm there, wondering how my noisy little people changed so alarmingly quickly into something else. Sometimes I actually long for the red juice days.

So, let's pray for each other and we can all try to remember together that "what we get out of Mass" is the unspeakable privilege of Jesus.

October -- the Month of the Rosary

2011-10-07T06:00:00.034-05:00

And today is the Feast of Our Lady of the Rosary!

"The Rosary taught Bernadette everything … The Rosary was her dictionary, her spelling book, naming and explaining the mysteries of God’s kingdom; it was a map guiding her to the heart of God’s love for humanity."

-- Fr. John Lochran,
The Miracle of Lourdes

And, although it isn't May, this is a great month to rerun "May Feelings", a video that makes me want to grab a Sharpie and a t-shirt, a set of beads, and set the world on fire:

~~~~~~~~~

And, speaking of the Rosary, I'm sure the topic will come up this morning with Sean Herriott, when I'm on Relevant Radio, at 8:35 (central time) this morning. You can listen online today as they offer their annual on-air Marian retreat all day. Visit their website here for more details.

Ramona's "Miserable" Version of Facebook

2011-10-03T06:53:00.003-05:00

Ramona hasn't seen Les Miserables, but she's heard enough of the story (and she's heard the music again and again and again ....) from her sisters to get a pretty good idea of what's going on.

Yesterday, she wrote this:

LES MIZBOOK

Username: 24601
Password: i.hate.Javert.

ENTER

Welcome, 24601. Not you? No problem. Click here.

Recent posters: Eponine, Javert......

Javert:
Oh, how I hate you, 24601!

Visit Javert’s page

Eponine:
Eponine changed her relationship status from “Single” to “It exists in my head.”

Visit Eponine’s page

Marius:
Marius changed his relationship status from “I’m looking, stop pestering me!” to “Walking on air.”

Visit Marius’s page

Javert:
Javert changed his relationship status from “Dumped” to “No time for girls.”

Why I Still Love Reading Aloud

2011-10-02T09:08:00.002-05:00

Reading A Little Princess to Ramona:

Anne-with-an-e and Betsy also listen in over breakfast reading with Ramona, and we all totally get this quote:

"Never did she find anything so difficult as to keep herself from losing her temper when she was suddenly disturbed while absorbed in a book. People who are fond of books know the feeling of irritation which sweeps over them at such a moment. The temptation to be unreasonable and snappish is one not easy to manage."

And, how delightful was it to hear this from Ramona the other day: "Mommy, did you know that reading A Little Princess makes me realize all the things I take for granted in my life! Like having clothes that fit me! And food! And a heater!"

I love sharing books with my favorite people in the universe.

(Will I be 92 years old, doddering in a nursing home, and inviting my 59, 56 and 52-year old daughters to drop by for a rollicking read-aloud of Deathly Hallows? "Bring the grandkids! And the great-grandkids! Have some pumpkin pasties! Someone find my dentures -- I can't do Snape's voice without them!" )

Poetry Friday

2011-09-30T06:00:00.002-05:00

Jump over to The Writer's Almanac for my pick today, a poem by David Budbill -- it's only five lines long, so I'll just tell you it's called "September Visitors", that it's perfect for bidding farewell to summer weather, and that it reminds me of what my friend Jack's grandfather used to sing-song about company: "Happy to see you come, happy to see you go."

Poetry Friday is being hosted this week by the always lovely, always delightful, always eloquent Sara Lewis Holmes.

Homeschooling Notes: Ancient Egypt With Ramona

2011-09-29T06:50:00.000-05:00

Ramona and I have been reading about ancient Egypt. This week, thanks to the Book of Artrageous Art Projects, we mummified Barbie. Here she is getting ready for her ceremonial wrapping, with some of her most treasured possessions (lovingly selected by Ramona) surrounding her:

And here she is, properly wrapped (we skipped the cleaning, oiling, salting and 70 days of drying), surrounded by lip gloss, two cakes (one chocolate, one vanilla), butter, an egg, coins (bus fare, Ramona says), her driver's license, a hairbrush, a ponytail holder and a can of Coke:

Princess Shopsalot (name thanks to the Klutz book)

now rests in materialistic peace in her Ramona-decorated sarcophagus:

~~~~~~~~~~

The next photo has nothing to do with ancient Egypt, but is simply to show you that when Ramona decides to stage a Pet Beauty Pageant, Sydney not only wins, but is also named both Miss Congeniality and Miss Most-Patient-Dog-Evah.

The Night I Visited My Sister's Book Club

2011-09-28T06:30:00.000-05:00

I love my sister.
I love Skype.
And now, thanks to my sister and Skype, I love my sister's book club.

None of the women are Catholic.
They all bought my Rosary book.
They read it.
They invited me to join them in Oklahoma (via Skype) for their discussion.
They asked me great questions.
We laughed.
Atticus stuck his face in the webcam.
My girls all ducked in to say hi.
And then we talked a little more about prayer.
They lifted their glasses (a lovely white wine, I think -- Chardonnay, ladies?) and we toasted books and prayer and sisters and husbands who stick their faces in webcams.

I love my sister.

Okey-dokey, Let's Talk About Mass

2011-09-27T06:18:00.002-05:00

Recently a reader asked me about Mass and boys' behavior and what to expect. Specifically:

Reader says: "I would like our children to be fully involved, engaged and enjoying it. At the moment, I feel that all they do is sit there quietly, not particularly participating and simply waiting it out."

Mrs. Ed says: Sitting quietly is highly underrated. If two boys are sitting quietly in Mass, you're doing something right. Waiting it out is better than fighting it out. Or sighing it out. Or sleeping it out.

Reader continues: "...lots of his school friends don't attend Mass or any worship services. So, he now pronounces loudly -- and frequently -- how boring Mass is, how dull it is, that he doesn't want to be Catholic any more, etc. ... Do 8-year olds generally 'enjoy' and participate in Mass? What about 6-year olds?"

Mrs. Ed says: First of all, huge disclaimer: I know NOTHING about boys.

But, it's not at all unusual for children to get bored during Holy Mass. Hang in there, Mom! Most children get bored. They just don't get it yet -- that's okay. Keep the big picture in mind. You're on a journey with them, and it's a long haul.

In my rather limited experience, most children get really revved up about their first Holy Communion, both in preparation for it and when it actually happens. Sometimes that excitement carries them for some time -- how many of us have seen our first Communicants beg to go to daily Mass so they could receive Jesus again? It's lovely, and sweet, and energizing but it doesn't always last. Again, hang in there. You haven't ruined them.

As the kids get a little older, boredom seems to return again for a time, but that's part of the long haul, too. We have to keep pulling back the curtain, showing our children a little more about their faith as they grow and mature, offering them new ways to experience God. It's a lifelong process of growth. It's a relationship. That's the real issue. How do we keep helping them nurture that relationship so that it will grow over the years?

But, back, specifically, to Mass with kids. One of the things I've always tried to do is to let my children see my own desire to be at Mass. It's always helped to completely center the day around it -- Sunday is for Mass, no exceptions, no excuses when we're out of town. We just go. We remain faithful to God no matter what, and no matter how we feel on a particular morning. Most of the time, I long to be at Mass. But I also think it's okay to be honest with children (those who are old enough to understand) about the fact that sometimes even we grown-ups don't feel like going. We all get tired, overextended, etc., and have those days when Mass can feel like one more thing to do. By being honest with our children about this, we can set an example about how to handle temptations. We show them that we're willing to submit our wills to God's, and we're helping them learn how they can do that, too.

It has always helped our family, too, to make Sunday a special, fun, family-centered day. We do things together -- walks, game nights, movies -- we relax, we eat donuts. Atticus often cooks a special dinner. I think when children come to associate Sunday with all kinds of other close, loving memories, it helps them to associate it (and Mass) with God's love, too.

When Ramona was five, I wrote this:

to celebrate Holy Thursday she drew a picture of Jesus and His apostles and then starting gift-wrapping things she found around the house, because "people should have presents when we're happy." Did she understand all that we would feel and remember at last night's Mass? No. Did she understand that we were happy that Jesus gave us the Eucharist? Yes. The rest will come.

.. I watched Ramona yesterday, when she drew her picture of Jesus. Her eyes were shining, and she was brimming with joy. And I thought, for a moment, that one of the reasons the Church wisely gave us Lent and penance, Holy Thursday and Good Friday, is that we grown-ups sometimes forget to shine.

I want to strive to have my children see me shine. (I fail often, but it's worth striving for.)

We've tried to share with our kids that our faith is a huge part of our lives -- it is woven through so many things that we do, and Mass is one more part of that. Celebrating feast days, saint days, baptismal birthdays, doing fun activities that bring the faith alive -- these things can truly make a difference in helping kids to get excited about their faith. Have fun with your faith, and your kids will, too.

A friend of mine recently hosted her first meeting of a boys' club at her house -- they talked and read about archangels, made cardboard swords and ice cream bucket-lid shields, and when it was time for snacks, the boys all got to stab their devil's food cupcakes before they ate them. I laughed out loud when I heard this. I must admit that it never occurred to me to have kids stab their cupcakes. But, this is apparently the sort of thing that boys live for. (It's a good thing I didn't have boys. Really ... a very good thing.) Great activities and ideas are all over the place -- just start Googling, or check out some of my archives, especially those under "Liturgical Year." (But not if you have boys. We've never stabbed our cupcakes here.)

Those are some initial thoughts, though I know I've just scratched the surface. I'd love to follow up on some of the following:

Letting go of an ideal about what I should get out of Mass when I'm there with children

Sensitive kids and Mass

Homemade aids that can help young children through Mass

If anyone has anything to add to the conversation, please do!

(Part II is here.)

Bits and Pieces of Our Days

2011-09-26T06:30:00.002-05:00

Food stuff lately:

I can't remember where I found this link, or who gave it to me. Or if I just obsessively Googled Nutella one day. But we made these Nutella-Mallow Pillow Pockets from Picky-Palate.com and they were so good. So, so good. I am inarticulate about their goodness. So, so good.

I don't usually get excited about marshmallow-anything, but the marshmallow subordinates itself entirely to the Nutella and it's a win-win situation. I didn't have puff pastry sheets, so we subbed shells, and it worked out great:

Flaky, chocolatey, sugary goodness.

In other food news, we recently realized that Kentucky Fried Chicken had never passed our children's lips. This is not because we're especially healthy eaters but rather because we're cheap. Quick, fried chicken generally comes from the grocery store's deli rather than from the Colonel. But, we had KFC for dinner recently and my girls, always pro-grease, approved.

Also, Atticus keeps asking me to stop making the crack cocaine of granola bars but I can't stop.

~~~~~~~~~~

Both of my older girls just attended a college fair. BOTH. OF. THEM.

~~~~~~~~~~

The older girls also volunteered to help lead a youth group and they are learning a lot about the junior high psyche. Even though those early teen years are not all that far in their own pasts, it's one thing to endure that stage of life and quite another to try to govern it in another human being. I think they've discovered that "junior high psyche" and "junior high psycho" sound eerily similar.

~~~~~~~~~~

Ramona and I are reading A Little Princess. Thinking "Ramona" and "Princess" reminded of this post from 2005, the year I started this blog. Time's winged chariot and all that. Life rushes by too fast, and I just keep holding on, hoping that I'm not blinking too much and missing something.

~~~~~~~~~~

Movies of late: Just watched The Fugitive with Anne and Betsy. Watching Elizabeth Gaskell's North and South with Betsy, and we're due very soon for another installment.

Sharing News From Everywhere, But Mostly From My Inbox:

2011-09-25T13:57:00.000-05:00

My Inbox is your Inbox:

Sue Elvis is giving away three copies (e-reader versions) of A Little Way of Homeschooling: Thirteen Families Discover Catholic Unschooling. If you don't have an e-reader, don't sweat it -- did you know you can download the Kindle app for your Mac or PC? It's free. I had a lot of free Kindle books long before I got a Kindle (which I now own only thanks to my mom's generosity ... sometimes when she upgrades to something new, I reap the benefits.)

Winners will be drawn on October 1st.

~~~~~~~~~~

Sally Thomas is the best. She just is. Go take a look at her site, Abandon Hopefully: Catholic Humanities-Centered Homeschooling (for parents of college-bound high-schoolers and others).

~~~~~~~~~~

Holy acting, Batman! It's an acting studio whose mission is training artists to "become excellent actors and powerful couriers of truth and beauty through media to the world." Holy Wood Acting Studios sounds intriguing -- an endeavor to cultivate and nourish the the vision Pope John Paul II spoke of in his Letter to Artists.

~~~~~~~~~~

Little Sisters of the Poor asked for help in spreading the word about their Vocation Discernment Day.

~~~~~~~~~~

A Lay Day of Fasting for Priests in October -- more information can be found here.

Nonsense

2011-09-23T12:35:00.000-05:00

These three lines from Matt Cook's "Nonsense":

Driving was a function where nonsense was not permitted.
When the traffic light turns green, you absolutely must go,
Whether or not it is the truly beautiful thing to do.

make me think that perhaps we are related.

Read the whole, short poem here, at The Writer's Almanac.

~~~~~~~~~~

The round up can be found at Picture Book of the Day.

Book Review: Attachments, by Rainbow Rowell

2011-09-18T23:30:00.004-05:00

You know how sometimes you really, really want to read a certain kind of book?

And you know how you conjure in your addled, overextended, tired gray matter exactly the book you want to read? Kinda like this:

"It should be witty," you tell yourself, "and intelligent. Sweet and funny. It should be romantic and full of heart," you say, with an emphasis on the word heart. You can hear the italics as you talk to yourself, because those italics are important. "And soul," you continue, upping the ante to italics and boldface. "It should be about best friends, and real life conversation, and the kind of guy you'd marry because he falls in love with you purely on the basis of your repartee."

Then you sigh.

And you think about how you desperately want to see something in your local bookstore that is not about vampires, unless it's a retrospective summary of Dark Shadows, 'cuz that would at least bring back some fun and merry memories, but, y'know, all that current vampire dreck is unreadable, so you go back to conjuring the perfect book for this week's reading.

"It should mention the Indian Hills theater in Omaha -- yeah, that's it -- and it should have a full and complete understanding of the tragedy that was the demolition of that building. It should -- no, it will -- wholly grasp that one can grieve the passing of a movie theater. That movie theater. Moreover," you say to yourself -- and you're talking much faster now, because you're on a roll -- "if it's really the book I want, it will totally get the fact that Tom Cruise isn't actually attractive at all, but that Tom Cruise movies are generally enjoyable."* It is dreadfully important that your imaginary-perfect-book-for-this-week gets this factoid of life.

And then, once you've conjured this book, you know how you hope that that book is, in point of fact, out there somewhere? Because you're really in the mood for that book. You want it to be a book you'll call your sister about and say, "Kathy! You have to read this book with your book group! You guys will lurve it!" And you don't want to have to write this book yourself (eh, yeah, as if you could, because as everyone knows, you are really only the second wittiest.) But you just so desperately need something to read right now that isn't ugly or cynical or political or stupid.

And so one day you pick up the Omaha paper and you see Rainbow Rowell's column and you're reminded that, oh, yeah, she wrote a novel. And it sounds really cute. And ... oh, my gosh ... it could be that novel.

And so you get your hands on it.

And guess what?

It is.

~~~~~~~~~~

*See p. 39. And all the rest of the pages while you're at it.

(For grown-ups, by the way. Language -- just thought you should know, in case such bothers you.)

A Homeschooling Meme

2011-09-17T20:43:00.001-05:00

Pam, from Everyday Snapshots (a lovely blog!) passed this meme along -- thanks, Pam!

1) ONE HOMESCHOOLING BOOK YOU HAVE ENJOYED

(One???? Here's my overlong list.)

Books that initially convinced me I could handle homeschooling:

Family Matters, David Guterson
Better than School, Nancy Wallace
Catholic Education: Homeward Bound, Kimberly Hahn and Mary Hasson
Designing Your Own Classical Curriculum, Laura Bergquist

Books that initially influenced my style of homeschooling:

All of the above, plus:

How Children Fail, John Holt
Teach Your Own, John Holt
School Proof, Mary Pride
A Charlotte Mason Companion, Karen Andreola
Real Learning, Elizabeth Foss

Books that nourish me, especially when I'm feeling burn-out:

All of the above, plus:

A Catholic Homeschool Companion, ed. by Maureen Wittmann & Rachel Mackson
Homeschooling with Gentleness, Suzie Andres
Homeschooling Our Children, Unschooling Ourselves, Alison McKee
101 Devotions for Homeschool Moms, Jackie Wellwood
Seasons of a Mother's Heart, Sally Clarkson

The homeschooling book to which I contributed a chapter:

A Little Way of Homeschooling

2) ONE RESOURCE YOU WOULDN'T BE WITHOUT

One??? Fie on one!

My laptop.
My husband (for his sounding board qualities, which are superb.)
The library.
My friends (for their sounding board qualities, which are superb.)

3) ONE RESOURCE YOU WISH YOU HAD NEVER BOUGHT

Everything that looked shiny and life-changing in a catalog but turned out to be just another dull bit of scripted curriculum.

4) ONE RESOURCE YOU ENJOYED LAST YEAR

One??? Fie on one!

Our theater experiences.
Reading Betsy-Tacy books with Ramona.
My friend, Johnna, who provided an art class for our little homeschool group.
Book discussions, over coffee, with Danae and my girls.

5) ONE RESOURCE YOU WILL BE USING NEXT YEAR

One?? Fie again!

Lectures, and lectures, and lectures, oh, my!
A cookbook.

6) ONE RESOURCE YOU WOULD LIKE TO BUY

Rather than buy one, I would just like to hire a resource, preferably a resource that does laundry, dishes, and vacuuming. This will not happen.

7) ONE RESOURCE YOU WISH EXISTED

A self-cleaning house, self-cooking meals, and self-washing laundry.

8) ONE HOMESCHOOLING CATALOG YOU ENJOY READING

I didn't buy a single thing from a catalog this year. I may actually be getting over my obsession.

Or I may just be broke.

If you read this, and you want to do it, consider yourself tagged.
:)

Life and Faith in Hell's Kitchen

2011-09-14T06:04:00.001-05:00

A great story about:

the Sisters of Life, a small order of nuns celebrating its 20th anniversary this summer. The sisters take traditional vows of poverty, chastity and obedience, but they also take a fourth vow "to protect and enhance the sacredness of human life." According to Archbishop Timothy Dolan, once the sisters connect with unwed pregnant women in need, "the battle is half over."

The sisters are the hands and feet of Christ as they care for women in crisis:

There the women can stay as long as six months prior to giving birth and up to a year afterward, some holding down jobs, others studying. Meanwhile the sisters go about their lives of prayer, contemplation and occasional rollerblading. The nuns "rely on providence" – i.e., donations – for food, baby clothing and strollers. They excel at recruiting "Josephs" for heavier household chores. "Our motto is that no man leaves without doing us a favor," says Sister Rita Marie, the local convent superior.

The rooms are spartan and lights go out at 9 p.m. Following Cardinal O'Connor's vision, the nuns take a healing approach. They don't keep records of who is Catholic and who isn't, they don't try to convert anyone or arrange a baptism unless asked, and they don't even require that the women pray.

Since the first guest arrived in 1998, 150 babies have been born at the convent. The sisters take heart in "the beauty of a mother coming to the understanding of the dignity of her calling and how that gives life back to her," Sister Rita Marie explains.

Read the whole thing here.

Attention to Souls

2011-09-13T07:17:00.000-05:00

(This post first ran in 2009.)

There are a few blogs I read that are written by priests. One might think that because our vocations are so different there isn't much we can learn from one another. But one would be mistaken. One priest's blog that I read regularly often speaks to me in my vocation as a mother.

Father* writes:

"Spiritual attention to souls." This is a wonderful line, absolutely wonderful. In the Gospel today, St. Mark speaks of the pity of Christ, that he looked upon the people because they were like shepherdless sheep. Do our parishioners feel the same way?

I apply this to my motherhood. Am I paying spiritual attention to the souls entrusted to my care? Do I ever leave my children shepherdless sheep? Have I left them in any way? What am I neglecting? How can I better shepherd them?

Is our Mass simply functionary? Is our seat in the confessional always empty? Do we try to shed our duties yet demand respect for our position?

When, as a mother, have I demanded respect for my position even while putting my own desires first? Is the "seat in the confessional" of my vocation -- my open, listening ear, my heart, my willingness to be fully present to my children -- empty?

Or, as St. Josemaria writes, is the altar the "centre and root" of our lives? We all feel the tension here. We all have days when the confessional is hot or the music at Mass is terrible or when we would like to do something for ourselves but the phone just keeps ringing.

Christ is the centre and root of my life, and it is through my vocation -- through marriage and motherhood -- that I serve Him. When there is tension, how do I approach it? Resolve it? When the tedious chores seem neverending and the bickering is building to a crescendo and when I would love to duck out of my duties for just a little while, or (oh, wouldn't it be heavenly?) go on a retreat -- or, who am I kidding, just have a day off, for goodness's sakes -- what do I do? How do I handle it? Who and What is at my center? Do my children feel the tension when it arises?

Even with the tension, how well do we do with this mission of having the "spiritual attention to souls?"

How well indeed?

What a beautiful examination of conscience this priest has provided. He may think he is writing for priests, but he is writing to each and every one of us who wish to serve God. And, oh, how much we all have to learn from one another in our seemingly disparate vocations.

*The original post had a link to the blog, but Father no longer maintains the blog.

The Girl's Got a Point, Especially When It Comes to Waffles

2011-09-13T06:54:00.000-05:00

Ramona: Mommy, can I have waffles for breakfast?

Me: Sure.

Ramona: And I'd like them with chocolate syrup and whipped cream. Is that okay?

Me: Sure.

Ramona: Yeah, because, after all, part of growing up is learning to make your own decisions.

(Photo thanks to grongar at Flickr.)

Feast of the Most Holy Name of the Blessed Virgin Mary

2011-09-12T08:01:00.001-05:00

"In fact, the more I looked at it, the more it seemed to me that God virtually always comes to us through some creature. And when he does that, some glow of his glory is left on the creature, like the radiance on Moses' face (cf. Ex. 34:29-35). But at the same time it remains clear the glory is God's, not something the creature could claim for himself."

~~ Mark Shea, Mary, Mother of the Son, Vol. I
as quoted in Through the Year With Mary, 365 Reflections

Mary, you shone with the glory of God,

never claiming merit for your virtues.

Help me to always deflect praise and glory to our Father.

I'm at Faith and Family Live Today

2011-09-12T07:42:00.000-05:00

You may already have read it here, but if not, you can go read it there.

Somehow I Knew That Was the Answer

2011-09-10T19:51:00.002-05:00

Me: Ramona, what are you doing?

Ramona: Laughing. Maniacally.

Poetry Friday: Fall, by Edward Hirsch

2011-09-09T10:09:00.001-05:00

We haven't yet reached the days of dusky gold that I know are to come, but I have felt the shiver of that shift -- the way, "Everything/Changes and moves in the split second between summer's/Sprawling past and winter's hard revision," and I know that autumn hovers, and is falling ....

Fall
by Edward Hirsch

Fall, falling, fallen. That's the way the season
Changes its tense in the long-haired maples
That dot the road; the veiny hand-shaped leaves
Redden on their branches (in a fiery competition
With the final remaining cardinals) and then
Begin to sidle and float through the air, at last
Settling into colorful layers carpeting the ground.
At twilight the light, too, is layered in the trees
In a season of odd, dusky congruences—a scarlet tanager
And the odor of burning leaves, a golden retriever
Loping down the center of a wide street and the sun
Setting behind smoke-filled trees in the distance,
A gap opening up in the treetops and a bruised cloud
Blamelessly filling the space with purples. Everything
Changes and moves in the split second between summer's
Sprawling past and winter's hard revision, one moment
Pulling out of the station according to schedule,

(Read the rest here.)

The Poetry Friday roundup is at Secrets & Sharing Soda.

Active Momming Equals Sluggish Blogging

2011-09-08T16:36:00.001-05:00

We've been busy.

* Started school this week. As usual, we started with Holy Mass and breakfast out.

Anne-with-an-e dove into Huck Finn, and Betsy is tackling The Scarlet Letter. I put together a blog, just for us, and it will be a central gathering place for our ideas, links, activities, etc. I don't know why I didn't do that long before now! The girls already love checking in on it. I called it "The Planning Unschooler."

This year, our first day even included us crashing for naps. I can't think of a better kick-off for the Greengables Homeschool.

~~~~~

* Anne-with-an-e and Betsy saw Skillet and Daughtry in concert, thanks to some super generous friends who invited them along. They were over-the-moon-happy before, during and after. Betsy's day was recently topped off when band member Korey Cooper replied to a tweet.

~~~~~

* We spent some time over the weekend at a living history thingy (why yes, that is the official name, as evidenced by this sign):

We watched a friend participate in a period dance demonstration, toured the grounds of a military fort, watched some butter-churning, lace-making, and weaving, and visited the blacksmith and the tinsmith. then we put Ramona in the stocks and called it a day.

~~~~~

* Our parish is implementing Family Formation and we recently had our opening Mass and kick-off night. I think it will be a great thing for our church community -- I was thrilled to see this approach come to town. I first heard of it years ago when a friend of mine moved to Minnesota, and it makes such consummate sense.

~~~~~

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to quit blogging and go back to momming for the rest of the day!

A Deliberate Life

2011-09-05T10:17:00.000-05:00

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately,

to front only the essential facts of life,

and see if I could not learn what it had to teach,

and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."

~~ Henry David Thoreau

Shortly after I started this blog, I considered alternate names for it -- I humbly acknowledged that "Karen Edmisten" is not particularly clever, and I daydreamed about what I might've named my blog had I given it more thought before I hit the "Create Blog" button. My favorite alternate-universe name was A Deliberate Life. It summed up what I want my world to be: Deliberate. Thoughtful. A life with love and purpose. Conviction.

"Deliberate" also tends to conjure the notion of "A Plan." But I've never been terribly good at plans, and certainly not at anything like The Five Year Plan.

But not to worry, because "deliberate" and "planned", it turns out, are not at all the same thing.

I can think of numerous deliberate lives that were not particularly planned.

Take Robert Frost, for instance. Although he went to Dartmouth and Harvard, he never earned a degree. He worked at a variety of jobs just to make a living. A biography at Poets.org notes that "Frost drifted through a string of occupations after leaving school, working as a teacher, cobbler, and editor of the Lawrence Sentinel." From the outside, before anyone knew that Robert Frost would be Robert Frost For Heavens' Sake, he might've appeared to be something of a slacker. A job hopper. People perhaps shook their heads over the college dropout.

But he was deliberate.

He was a poet. It's who he was, and he knew it.

Van Gogh was an artist. He was a mess, but he was an artist, and he knew it. Blessed Teresa of Calcutta fed the hungry for Jesus, even when she felt dry and far from His embrace. It's who she was. Marie Curie was a scientist, Madeleine L'Engle was a writer. Though difficulties and sufferings came upon them, they lived deliberately. They knew the essential facts of their lives.

At my house, we will embark this week on our twelfth year of homeschooling. My life has been full of meanderings, changes, about-faces, and periods when I appeared undoubtedly to the world to be a slacker. But, since my conversion, I have been living that deliberate life. Unquestionably still full of twists and turns, alarming developments -- such as becoming a mother, becoming a Catholic, becoming a homeschooler -- and messy days and sometimes anguished nights. But deliberate.

I know who I am.

And I can only hope that as we continue to follow this adventure that is homeschooling -- as we look at the final year of "high school" (whatever that is, really), and college, and job and life possibilities, and the swirling middle of the teen years for another daughter, and at an age that the world calls "fourth grade" for yet another -- that I can pass on to my cherished children the essence of the soul-calming peace that comes with knowing how you want to live.

I followed Jesus because I wished to live deliberately,

to front only the essential facts of life,

and see if I could not learn what Jesus had to teach,

and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not loved Him.

Poetry Friday: Short Order Cook

2011-09-02T14:24:00.000-05:00

Sometimes life is just this simple, and just this hard, and just this rewarding:

Short Order Cook
by Jim Daniels

An average joe comes in
and orders thirty cheeseburgers and thirty fries.

I wait for him to pay before I start cooking.
He pays.
He ain't no average joe.

The grill is just big enough for ten rows of three.
I slap the burgers down
throw two buckets of fries in the deep frier
and they pop pop spit spit...
psss...
The counter girls laugh.
I concentrate.
It is the crucial point—
they are ready for the cheese:

(Read the rest here, at The Writer's Almanac.)

The round up this week is at The Miss Rumphius Effect.

Because I Am a Breathtakingly Interesting Person, I'm Reviewing a Pencil Sharpener Today

2011-08-30T08:43:00.004-05:00

Yes, that's right.

I am your source for the myriad electric thrills that come with being a homeschooling mom. Free pencil sharpeners! A free blog on which to review them! I am fascinating!

Troy Decoff offered to send me a free pencil sharpener from his Classroom Friendly Supplies company for possible review and I said, yeah, sure, why not, mostly because it turns out that Troy is a public school teacher and I totally get (since one of my favorite people in the entire world is a public school teacher) that public school teachers, sadly, have to do things to supplement their incomes.

Anyway. The thing arrived a couple of weeks ago and we tried it out. It's a manual sharpener that automatically stops once the pencil is sharp, which is an amiable thing for a pencil sharpener to do. We now have copious sharp pencils, as in, every, single pencil in our house is dangerously pointed.

We've also had to remove lead from the sharpener when said lead has gotten stuck, and Troy's handy-dandy video (on his site) showed us how easy it is to take the sharpener apart.

I haven't done many reviews lately, as I don't have a lot of free time and so I end up reviewing only things or books I love. I actually said out loud, "I love this pencil sharpener."

I did. I said it.

I'm breathtakingly interesting.

(Photo from Stock.xchng.)

Should You Be Wondering Where I Am ...

2011-08-28T20:36:00.001-05:00

... I am busy pretending to be a mom-of-many.

Five extra kids here this weekend (two of them teens, so they're of course a huge help, along with my older girls) while their parents deliver their oldest brother to college.

Observations:

~ The busyness of three-year-olds: How could I have forgotten? When they're not asleep, they're moving. Rapidly. (Plus, they're always cutely announcing what's happening: "Mrs. Edmitten! Tha's the dryer buzzing!" "Mrs. Edmitten! Your cat's in the window!")

~ If you leave the Ivory soap bar within their reach, three little girls together in a tub will find a reason to rub said bar all over their hair. If anyone at Mass this morning noticed a dull film on those three adorable heads, you can blame me and my rinsing technique.

~ College? What? Isn't that boy still nine years old?

I'll be back soon -- the visiting kids head back to their house tomorrow and we'll return to our regularly scheduled small family.

Quote for a Thursday

2011-08-25T13:47:00.003-05:00

Remember to keep in mind that all the past is nothing

and that every day we should say with David, "Now I begin to love my God."

~~ St. Francis de Sales

Bits and Pieces of Our Days

2011-08-23T08:12:00.000-05:00

The other day, Lissa mentioned the free online courses available through Stanford which reminded me that I've been meaning to share these links:

The Top Five Collections of Free University Courses
400 Free Online Courses from Top Universities
MIT OpenCourseWare
Universities With the Best Free Online Courses
Open Yale Courses

Anne-with-an-e loves Human Behavioral Biology, available on iTunes University, and Atticus often has a Civil War Lecture on when he's cooking. For the kids or for yourself, there's great stuff there.

~~~~~~~~~~

We're still in Not-Back-to-School-Mode, except Anne-with-an-e, who's taking an early enrollment class at the community college. Last year, when she took her first class there (online -- a great way to start), I was reminded that, although I truly appreciate this Early Enrollment option, textbooks are and have always been a racket. A racket. Yes, I'll say it again: they're a racket. Okay, I feel better. </rant>

~~~~~~~~~~

Anne-with-an-e is a senior in high school. Anne is a senior. I started homeschooling this ~~child~~ ~~girl~~ ~~oh-my-gosh-she's-almost-done~~ young adult when she was in first grade. Anne is a senior. (Insert incredulous-insane-mother-screech here.) Okay, I feel better.

~~~~~~~~~~

The Next Food Network Star ended recently, and although we were exceptionally happy to see one of our favorites -- the Sandwich King -- win, we also loved Vic and Susie. It was a fun group to watch this year, drama, sparks and all. Who did you want to win?

~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of food, yesterday, Betsy pronounced my latest attempt at Molly Wizenberg's Winning Hearts and Minds Chocolate Cake to be a success. "You mastered it, Mom," she said.

It was my second attempt. Drat -- I wanted a good excuse to try this cake two or three more times this week.

Poetry Friday: Time for a little Billy

2011-08-19T08:11:00.003-05:00

Dear Three-Year-Old-Reciting Billy Collins' "Litany",

You made my day.
I love you and your mom and the pine-scented air.

Poetically yours,

Mrs. Ed

(found here, at The Poetry Foundation.)

The round up this week is at Dori Reads.

"What we're really talking about is an education."

2011-08-17T09:10:00.002-05:00

So, the other day I apparently said, "Actually, what we're really talking about is an education: what that is, what it means, how one acquires such a thing."

The trouble with saying something like that is that it makes me appear to have something to say. It sounds as if I actually have a post planned. It prompts people leave comments such as:

"I for one am looking forward to that next post, still trying to figure out 'what it all means' myself."

and

"Naturally, waiting impatiently for the next installment... ;)"

I'm grateful Dweej winked. I think she has me figured out (i.e., 87% of the time, I'm just talking, talking, talking ... y'know? I have no plan, no wisdom -- just a lot of words and ideas and caffeine. Or wine. Oh! The talking is worse when I've had two glasses of cabernet.)

Anyway.

What is an education, and how does one acquire such a thing? My ideas about these things have changed so much over time.

I used to think that "An Education" was a set of objective truths and procedures, but as educations have unfolded over the years (my own education, and those of my children) I have seen how fluid the processes and definitions can be.

I used to think that to acquire an education one had to attend school and then, naturally, college. As my own education has progressed, and as my children have grown, however, I've seen so much autodidacticism that I now believe there's not a simple, single, well-defined way to learn, and that a classroom isn't always necessary for intellectual growth.

For today, I'm going to rerun an old post, from a series I did a couple of years back. Feel free to jump in and discuss -- let's educate ourselves on the nature of education.

(The post below is Part 4 of the series. For links to the previous three parts, see this post, "Joining Michele's Discussion: What is Education?")

~~~~~
from March, 2009:

My ideas about education.

They.
Have.
Changed.
Beyond.
Recognition.

When Anne-with-an-e was born, I had never, ever considered homeschooling.

Oh, I knew about those homeschooling fools. They were the people I'd ridiculed years before when they were fighting for the right to legally educate their kids at home. I'd heard of them (noisy religious fanatics that they were) and forgotten about them.

By 1993, when my first child was born, I didn't have an ounce of interest in homeschooling. I knew that my child would attend whatever public school was nearby, wherever Atticus taught. Because public school was simply what people did.

(I still believe in the ideals of public education -- that a great, solid education should be available to everyone, which is quite different from an education that is compulsory, but that's another post.)

I remember having thoughts about things that would be a part of "Kindergarten and so on" and I therefore didn't worry too much about some of those basics: "Oh ... she'll learn that in school," I would think.

In 1997, when Anne was about three-and-a-half, and I'd been a Catholic for two years, we bought a home from a family who homeschooled. I still remember the first time we went to see the house. As I knocked, I wondered what kind of demented woman would answer the door, and what kind of freaks would her children be, having been shut up in the house all day long, day after wretched, home bound day?

But shortly after that, I began to hear more about homeschooling from various quarters. A close friend was looking into it, though his wife wasn't convinced. At a Bible study I attended, a couple of people were discussing it. I began to find myself strangely intrigued. Oh, I knew we would never do it -- could anyone imagine Atticus, a public school teacher, homeschooling his own children? Preposterous. But, ummm ... tell me more, I found myself saying. Tell me. More.

They told me more. I began to read, and discuss, and explore online, and then read some more. I was drawn to it again and again, despite all my doubts and fears. I remember asking someone on an e-list, "Can I really do it? I'm already tired all the time. How will I teach my kids, on top of everything else I do?"

Those lovely moms assured me that it could happen, it does work, and that it's a process. Kind of like growing into grilled peanut butter.

I decided that if I completely blew it the first year, well, at least my daughter wouldn't be ruined forever. I could still put her in school for the final eleven years of her education, right? Eventually, Atticus was on board, too, and we began.

Now I marvel at how much my mindset has changed.

The idea of waiting for someone else to figure out our path? Or to determine all that my children need to learn? Conforming to others' ideas about what an education is, how it should be accomplished? It sounds like a foreign language now.

And, it all brings home the Church's teachings on the principle of subsidiarity:

The teaching of the Church has elaborated the principle of subsidiarity, according to which "a community of a higher order should not interfere in the internal life of a community of a lower order, depriving the latter of its functions, but rather should support it in case of need and help to co- ordinate its activity with the activities of the rest of society, always with a view to the common good."

-- Catechism of the Catholic Church

We, as parents, are capable of making these choices and carrying out these plans. And, by not depriving ourselves of the most basic responsibility as the primary educators of our children, we have created something -- in the way of education, lifestyle and family relationships -- that we treasure.

In short, my idea of education has changed in this way: I used to think of it as "something they would get in school."

Now, I know it is "something we define, plan and pursue."

"Education" is a wide open space, a vast universe, a wilderness waiting to be explored; it's unconventional and traditional, depending on the day, the book or the topic. It's full of things that are fun and fascinating, not just things that are required to pass the test. It is books, discussion, and knowing when we don't need to talk.

It is our life. As Betsy said in this post, "... let's take years and years and years to learn everything!"

"Education" isn't something that's confined to a desk, from 8 to 3. It's a full-time job, and yes, sometimes it is exhausting to homeschool. But, I'm so glad those noisy, crazy religious fanatics fought for their right to pursue it. For my right. And my privilege, because make no mistake ... no matter how much work it is, defining, planning, and pursuing my kids' education is an enormous privilege, one I'm extraordinarily grateful to have.

On related notes, here are links to a couple of past posts on homeschooling:

Here's one about finding support for homeschooling.

Here's a post from 2006 about "What is 'normal' anyway?"

~~~~~

The Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary

2011-08-15T08:15:00.002-05:00

"The light could not be divided from the sun. The light was Mary’s soul, rich in grace from the very moment of its creation; and the sun was her immaculate body, in which the Holy Spirit had formed the humanity assumed by the Word."

~~ Blessed Bartolo Longo

Such a pure and perfect vessel -- Lord, make me whole someday in heaven, as Mary was whole from the moment of her conception.

"Belief in the Assumption is a source of hope for all Christians because it foreshadows what will one day happen to each faithful Christian. The raising of Mary, body and soul, to the glory of heaven anticipates what will happen at the final judgment to all who are to be saved."

~~ Alan Schreck, Catholic and Christian

Mary, model of our salvation, I long to be where you are.

(from Through the Year With Mary: 365 Reflections)

On Relevant Radio Monday Morning

2011-08-14T18:40:00.002-05:00

... at 8:40 a.m. central time.

Listen online here, at the Relevant Radio website.

Oh, Sweetie, Join the Club

2011-08-14T18:27:00.002-05:00

Ramona: "Sometimes I wonder if my brain is accurate. Or if it's up-to-date."

So You're Not an Unschooler, Right?

2011-08-14T15:19:00.003-05:00

I know, I know. Neither am I.

That's why I wrote a chapter for a book about Catholic unschooling. Because I'm a walking set of contradictions. The Planning Unschooler. The Unschooler Who Plans.

As Whitman said, "Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself; (I am large -- I contain multitudes.)"

The largeness could have something to do with extended amounts of chocolate in my life, but let's not go there right now. We're talking about school, right? Or about the absence of school. Actually, what we're really talking about is an education: what that is, what it means, how one acquires such a thing.

But before I say anything more about that, let me say a few things about the book that Suzie Andres recently put together on Catholic unschooling. (A Little Way of Homeschooling is actually Suzie's second book and is a great follow-up to her Homeschooling With Gentleness.)

First, I want to point you to CatholicMom.com and Lisa Hendey's recent interview with Suzie. If you want to get a feel for what Suzie is all about, and find out more about why the book is focused on a "little way", Lisa's interview is the place to go.

Second, for some lovely reviews, which have delighted me to no end, visit the book's Amazon page.

Third, for a couple of other lovely reviews, visit Sue Elvis at Stories of an Unschooling Family, and Annaberri at Read the Other Day.

Fourth, for a chance to win a copy of the book, visit Homeschool Faith and Family Life for details on a contest they're running.

And now that I have spent so much time gathering links for this post, I'm out of my computer allotment for the afternoon. Ramona is waiting for me, and brownies are waiting to be made by the two of us (I told you there's a lot of chocolate in my life.) The crux of this post ("an education: what that is, what it means, how one acquires such a thing") will have to wait for another post.

In the meantime, go win a book!

Poetry Friday: I'm Hosting!

2011-08-11T21:42:00.002-05:00

I cannot seem to host Poetry Friday without falling back on Richard Wilbur. But since he's never stale and always sublime, I don't have a problem with my predictability.

Go here to read a short, powerful, beautiful poem -- "The House" was written after the death of his wife and a more poignant poem on the subject would be hard to find.

Mr. Linky awaits all your linky goodness, and so do I:

Poetry Friday Will Be Here Tomorrow

2011-08-11T16:39:00.000-05:00

I'll be hosting Poetry Friday here tomorrow, so if you've always wanted to join in but haven't yet, now's your chance.

Just stop back anytime tomorrow -- I'll have a post and a Mr. Linky link up by then -- and leave a link. I'm an unassuming, non-intimidating hostess, and you know there's always coffee.

For more about Poetry Friday, see this link.

For the schedule of hosts, see this link at Kidlitosphere Central.

The Landscape is Different

2011-08-11T00:40:00.003-05:00

At the end of last month, our hamster, Blanche, was dying. She was almost three years old, which is beyond elderly for a hamster. I prepared Ramona for Blanche's death, reminding her that hamsters don't live forever. I involved Ramona in the care and feeding of Blanche in her last days, when she needed to be held up to her water bottle and encouraged to drink a little something. We all knew she was dying. Still, it was hard to see her fail. We hoped she wasn't in pain.

A couple of weeks ago, after we spent the day at the hospital with my father-in-law who was gravely ill, we came home and found that Blanche had died.

On a completely different subject, this used to be the view from our backyard:

Obviously the fall colors and the sprinkle of snow are vestiges of a different season, but what I'm focused on is the tree.

I loved that tree.

I loved the way its branches framed the view, the way they hung down protectively over the scene across the road, draping and encircling it. It's been a constant in our yard, that tree.

Last week, on the day we attended my father-in-law's funeral, the power company sent someone over to take the tree out. They had our permission. We knew that the tree was in the way of the power lines, knew they needed to trim it, and when Atticus tossed off an observation ("If I could afford it, I'd probably just go ahead and take the whole thing out ....") the guy from the power company jumped on it. "That's a no-brainer," he replied. "We'll take it out for nothing."

And that's what they did.

The problem is that now, my entire landscape looks different. Every time I walk into the backyard, I'm surprised. And sad. It doesn't look like the same yard.

Life keeps changing, and there are so very few parts of it over which I have real control.

When I walk into my girls' room, Blanche's cage is no longer there. There's no rattle of the bars, no rustle of pine shavings, no nibbling sounds of seeds and corn.

And when I step into my backyard, the view is changed. It's open; the sun is shining in spots it never hit before.

And when I imagine my father-in-law's face, I know that I will never again see it on this earth.

It's startling, isn't it? The way that things can change so swiftly, so sharply, so permanently. We give permission for some things; others catch us off guard and take our breath away.

Blanche is gone. I miss seeing her cage on my daughters' dresser.

My tree is missing. There is no frame, no drape of branches to shape my view.

And Dad is gone.

I didn't usually call him "Dad" when he was here ... I called him by his first name; I think he preferred that. But he was another dad to me.

And now that our landscape has changed -- now that the view is wide open -- I like to think that he knows in exactly which ways he was my other dad.

Our landscape is altered.

It will be a long time before we remember just how different things look out there, a long time before we adjust to the new slant of light, to what's missing -- a very long time before we stop feeling startled by how we feel when we step outside.

But even though it looks like a death, I know that this expansive space marks a new beginning.

Rest in peace, dear Dad.

Quote for a Wednesday

2011-08-10T09:17:00.000-05:00

We must be patient and little by little root out our bad inclinations, overcome our aversions and control our emotions. This life is truly a continual warfare, and there is no one who can say, "I am never tempted." Peace is reserved for Heaven, where the palm of victory awaits us; on earth there is a continual struggle between hope and fear. However, our hope must be strong, relying on the omnipotence of God, Who is always ready to help us. So never tire of fighting for your growth and perfection.

St. Francis de Sales (Letters 1173; O. XVII, pp. 160-161)

(You can find Daily With De Sales here.)

Poetry Friday: Drugstore

2011-08-05T08:35:00.000-05:00

I love this poem, and I especially love the last lines:

Don't be ashamed of the homely thought
That whatever you might do elsewhere,
In the time remaining, you might do here
If you can resolve, at last, to pay attention.

Drugstore
by Carl Dennis

Don't be ashamed that your parents
Didn't happen to meet at an art exhibit
Or at a protest against a foreign policy
Based on fear of negotiation,
But in an aisle of a discount drugstore,
Near the antihistamine section,
Seeking relief from the common cold.

Read the whole thing here, at The Writer's Almanac.

The Poetry Friday round up is at A Year of Literacy Coaching.

Prayers, please

2011-07-28T21:53:00.000-05:00

I'll be taking several days off from blogging, and please pray for all in our family as we mourn the loss of my father-in-law, who passed away this morning.

May he rest in peace in the arms of our Lord.

The Writing Life -- Guest Posting at Peace Garden Writer

2011-07-27T08:28:00.000-05:00

Roxane Salonen, of Peace Garden Writer, invited me to do a guest post in her series on writers and the writing life. It's a summary of my journey so far, and the link is here.

Since that post is a general reflection on how my faith life and writing are interwoven, I thought it would be fun to add a few more concrete, practical ideas here.

I was recently talking via email with a friend about writing, the publishing world, and books, and here's what I shared with her.

Things I've Learned in Retrospect

1. The importance of a platform.

Don't wait until the book contract is signed to establish a presence. Decide now who you are as a writer and what you want people to think of when they hear your name. Be honest and authentic about that. Create a website or blog that reflects your work, so that you have an online resume. Don't forget that Google+ and Twitter can offer great ways to get to know people, both readers and other writers.

I started my blog primarily to have that online resume, and hadn't considered the word "platform" until my first talk with a book editor. You can learn from my mistake.

(And, okay, to be honest here, I'm not sure what people think when they hear my name, other than "coffee" and "her blog is all over the place." But that's okay -- I am all over the place. That's honestly who I am. Get me another cup of coffee.)

2. Don't assume that your first book will be the one you've already written.

I remember when I was first talking with a book editor. I pitched ideas to her and her response -- eminently more polite, but here's the essence -- was "Yeah, yeah, those are nice, but we want a book on the Rosary. Do you have any interest in writing a book on the Rosary?" I did have an interest. I was thrilled to have the chance to write it. That was my first book.

Be open to ideas from editors. Be willing to abandon all your best ideas and try something else.

3. Don't forget that many of your words are expendable.

The end goal is always to create the best book possible. The most valuable lesson I've learned as a writer is: let editors do their job and make me a better writer. There's a reason they get paid to be editors. They're good at it.

When Mike Aquilina (editor of New Covenant magazine at the time) bought my conversion story, which was the first thing I ever sold, he emailed to say he'd had to cut it in half. (I'd cavalierly ignored their writers' guidelines and sent a piece that was far too long, so here's another piece of advice: don't do that. Not all editors are as nice as Mike was.) When I read the final version, I couldn't tell what he'd deleted. That's excellent editing, capable of correcting the rambling of a wordy woman.

I've always loved this passage from Annie Dillard's The Writing Life:

The line of words is a hammer. You hammer against the wall of your house. You tap the walls, lightly, everywhere. After giving many years’ attention to these things, you know what to listen for. Some of the walls are bearing walls; they have to stay, or everything will fall down. Other walls can go with impunity; you can hear the difference. Unfortunately, it is often a bearing wall that has to go. It cannot be helped. There is only one solution, which appalls you, but there it is. Knock it out. Duck.

Courage utterly opposes the bold hope that this is such fine stuff the work needs it, or the world. Courage, exhausted, stands on bare reality; this writing weakens the work. You must demolish the work and start over. You can save some of the sentences, like bricks. It will be a miracle if you can save some of the paragraphs, no matter how how excellent in themselves or hard-won. You can waste a year worrying about it, or you can get it over with now. (Are you a woman, or a mouse?)

The part you must jettison is not only the best-written part; it is also, oddly, that part which was to have been the very point. It is the original key passage, the passage on which the rest was to hang, and from which you yourself drew the courage to begin.

When I sent that passage to the above-mentioned friend, Atticus also reminded me of William Faulkner's advice that sometimes you have to "kill your darlings."

Writers should know and understand that there are times when it's worth standing firm to keep a particular passage or idea, but those moments are more rare than we writers want to admit.

4. Publishing is a more organic process than I thought.

Things change and grow: during the pitching process, in the midst of the writing, throughout the editing. Be willing to explore new directions.

And know that it takes time -- time, time, time -- before the final product is done and in the bookstores.

5. Don't use as many parentheses as I do.

Because (and this refers back to #3) the things you put in parentheses are often (not always, but often) things you can do without (even if you don't think so) and your writing (whether it's a blog post or a book) will be better off without it. (See?)

But, y'know, since I don't have my editor at my side when I'm blogging, you often (not always, but often) find too many parenthetical statements on my blog (sorry). That's just the way it ("it" referring to my general state of blog-being) is.

Stretching Myself As a Mom

2011-07-26T14:16:00.002-05:00

You know how in my last post I talked about following the Church because I love and follow Jesus? Well, in a similar vein, I embrace certain Mom-ish behaviors, such as trying to decorate birthday cakes, purely because I love my children so dearly, not because I dream at night of finding the perfect cake decorating tip.

Ramona wanted a Webkinz cake. The Rainbow Armadillo Webkinz. On her cake. Uh-huh. That's right.

So, I tried:

If you're a legitimate cake-decorating-type, please excuse me. Don't examine the saggy borders and the crooked smile and the less-than-perfect consistency of the other accents.

You see, I thought "Mommy, I want chocolate cake with chocolate icing" meant, "Mommy, I want chocolate cake with chocolate icing" not, "Mommy, I'm going to ask at the last minute that you also furnish yellow, pink, purple and a dab of red icing for the mouth." But she was so earnest that I couldn't say no. Would you?

Happy birthday, Ramona!

Talking About the Rules Doesn't Usually Work

2011-07-26T09:20:00.002-05:00

The Catherine of Siena Institute knows that. I read their blog, Intentional Disciples, when I can, and they're spot on, giving voice to so many of the ideas I've batted around since I became a Catholic.

I didn't join the Catholic Church because she won the contest in the "Best Rules and Regulations in an Institution" category. I didn't submit because I was eager to give up birth control. I didn't rush to the front steps of my local parish because I thought that if I checked off all the right boxes I would be admitted to Heaven with a perfect score.

I was received into the Catholic Church because when I searched for the meaning of life, I found Jesus.

When I found Jesus, I wanted to follow Him.

When I followed Him, He led me -- not without protest, I might add -- to the Catholic Church.

I submitted to the Church because I believe it speaks for Him. That's why I accept it. Out of love for Jesus.

That's not to say that I didn't have intellectual curiosity. I did. I've written about the intellectual arguments that I needed to address (though I'd love to write about that in more detail.) I had common sense questions and I was looking for common sense answers. But it always came back to a relationship.

"To whom shall we go, Lord? You have the words of eternal life." St. Peter said that (Jn 6:68) when Jesus asked (after His disciples heard the particularly hard teaching about eating His flesh and drinking His blood) if they, too, would turn their backs on Him.

But where else would they go? Where else would I go? This is the best answer I'ver found. Ever. Anywhere. And, as C.S. Lewis said in Mere Christianity:

Now that I am a Christian I do have moods in which the whole thing looks very improbable: but when I was an atheist I had moods in which Christianity looked terribly probable. This rebellion of your moods against your real self is going to come anyway. That is why Faith is such a necessary virtue: unless you teach your moods “where they get off,” you can never be either a sound Christian or even a sound atheist, but just a creature dithering to and fro, with its beliefs really dependent on the weather and the state of its digestion. Consequently one must train the habit of Faith.

When we Catholics talk to the world about our rules, we're often scoffed at. If we were to say we follow those rules out of a fear of hell, we'd not be taken very seriously, and rightly so.

It's like a marriage: if you asked a man why he was faithful to his wife and the only answer he could give was, "Because I'm afraid of getting caught if I cheat," you'd find him severely lacking in love. If, on the other hand, he shook his head in disbelief, gave you a look that said you were insane, and replied, "How can you ask that? I'm faithful to her because I love her! Is it always easy? Do my eyes ever stray? Am I perfect? Of course not. But I love her. Everything else flows from there. Love makes the relationship worth the work."

And so it is with Jesus and His Church. My spiritual director recently shared this quote, from Fr. Cantalamessa, with me, and it sums up what I've believed since I said yes to Catholicism:

If Christianity, as so often and so rightly has been said, is not primarily a doctrine but a person, Jesus Christ, it follows that the proclamation of this person and of one's relationship with him is the most important thing, the beginning of all true evangelization and the very condition for making such a thing possible. To reverse this order and put the doctrines and obligations of the Gospel before the discovery of Jesus would be like putting the carriages in front of the railway engine that is supposed to pull them.

... Insisting on the importance of a personal encounter with Jesus Christ is not a sign of subjectivism or emotionalism but the translation, on to the spiritual and pastoral plane, of a dogma central to our faith: that Jesus Christ is ‘a person.’ ~~ Fr. Cantalamessa

(And, um, can you imagine preaching to the Pope?)

I'll close today with a final quote, this one found at Intentional Disciples:

"To holy people the very name of Jesus is a name to feed upon, a name to transport. His name can raise the dead and transfigure and beautify the living."

~~ Blessed John Henry Newman

I don't consider myself a holy person, but I do consider this every day: the name upon which I feed, the Person who transports me, the transfiguration I need is found in Jesus.