Wednesday, February 10, 2010

A Mother's Wish List, (or, In Which I Eventually Ponder Heaven)

  • That laundry would creep away into a deep, dark hole and die.  For a week -- or, ... oh, dare I dream? -- ten days.
  • That no one will ask me, "What's for dinner?"  Just for a day.  One day.
  • That I could eat take-out every night for seven -- oh, dare I imagine it? Ten? -- days. In a row. On paper plates.
  • That while I'm consuming decadent, indulgent take-out food and wearing clothes that never get dirty, the cat will announce that he's permanently ceased throwing up.  Also, he would kindly like to point out that his allergies are gone, so he will stop breaking out in those unsightly sores. 
  • That the bathroom door would automatically lock behind me. Because I forget to lock it, y'know? Which translates into, "Hey, everyone, come on in and tell me about your day! It's a party in here, despite the drab decor! And hey, cat, wouldn't you like to come in, too? And throw up?" 
  • That when I'm sick I could just. Be. Sick. (I'm not sick today, so don't worry about me. I'm just dreaming.) You know? Sick? As in, all day long/in bed/don't touch me/don't talk to me/I'm going to sleep for seventeen hours/I won't cook/I won't tidy/I won't talk to you about math/sick. 
Enough complaining wishing.

The reality -- I know, I know -- is that I love these people. It gobsmacks me, really, how much I love them.

And I even love that cat (Most of the time. Except when he's biting one of my offspring. And throwing up. And chewing on my nightstand at 4 a.m.)

And I love that I have a washing machine (I did the laundromat thing when we were young and poor and I'll take daily laundry anytime), and I love that Atticus has a job and the means to provide the meals I hate to cook. I love that we homeschool, and I love that my husband and kids love me, too (in spite of my pathetic meals.) 

And yesterday, when we were reading The Long Winter, and we came to the passage I quoted earlier this morning, I thought, "Yes. That's what home is. It's a little taste of the divine.  It's Heaven under a roof.  Refuge from the cold world."

And that is the message I try to remind myself of when I get caught up in my wish lists.

That heaven is right in front of my eyes.

Yesterday, Ramona said, "Mommy, there's a place where you can go outside when it's snowing and you don't even have to wear a coat. And you can eat ice cream and drink hot chocolate at the same time, and then go swimming. And there's cake.  And we're going."

"We are?" I asked.

"Yes!" she said, impatient with my thickness.  "It's Heaven!"

Lord willing, we're on the road.

That's my real wish list. That we're doing what we need to do, and that we'll keep looking for those doors He opens to draw us further in, and that we will walk through them -- that this tiny  taste of Heaven under a roof will be our path, someday, to the real thing.

    12 comments:

    christine M said...

    That's a lovely wish list and Ramona's vision of heaven is ... well... heavenly!

    tanita✿davis said...

    I am laughing at the bathroom thing -- you'd think just closing the door would work, but no... never worked for my poor mother, either. How we plagued her!

    But never mind - soon we'll sit around in the snow eating ice cream and drinking hot chocolate and swimming with our cake held above our heads, happy forever at long last. God haste the day.

    love2learnmom said...

    What a perfectly perfect post. Especially in February. :)

    Lenetta said...

    I do hope there are cats in heaven, but I could certainly do without the hurking. I have two champion cat-food-regurgitators...

    Anonymous said...

    Thank you so much for sharing.

    Kate Wicker said...

    This is funny, honest, beautiful, wonderful...

    Thank you.

    Cara said...

    Beautiful! Your post reminds me of one of my favorite Michael Card songs: "Home." (You can read the lyrics and listen to it here if you like: http://greatgreatjoy.com/ - scroll down about half way to find it). It always brings a happy tear to my eyes...kind of like your post did (in between the chuckles!).

    Sue said...

    I can so identify with your list... except that we have a rabbit (that urinates on the floor to get back at us when we don't let him out of his cage enough in one day) instead of a vomiting cat.

    I am right there with Ramona's vision of heaven. I love this post!

    Laura at By the Bushel said...

    so precious, so precious, thanks for sharing your wish list-
    What a precious thought, heaven under a roof- again, thanks- Laura

    Liz said...

    Take out 10 days in a row on paper plates that I don't have to do the ordering for and that doesn't put one extra ounce of fat on me. That's what's on MY wish list. I don't usually mind cooking, but right now I'm tired of the job.

    Tina said...

    We are reading The Long Winter, now, too, but we just started it the other day. Thanks for the laugh.

    Unknown said...

    An absolutely wonderful wish list. Thank you (and the cat) for bringing a smile to my face today.
    Blessings and Grace...